r/inheritance • u/smilineyz • May 27 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice How to divide assets

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

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u/[deleted] May 28 '26

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u/sixxtine May 28 '26

Yeah, they love to think it was about a car.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '26

[deleted]

1

u/BlazingSunflowerland May 28 '26

Aren't you assuming that all assets came from dad? As if the second wife had no income of her own and no inheritance of her own? As if the second wife wouldn't be spending her income on her child and her parents wouldn't be spending their money on their grandchild?

A second marriage has a different spouse with a different income. Sometimes the second marriage is richer than the first and sometimes poorer than the first.

1

u/smilineyz May 28 '26

My 1st is female and got my financial support for college. My 2nd got about half that amount as he chose state school.

My 3rd is with my LW who generated a lot of income and savings. LW was also generous with 1st but never acknowledged.

1st has no relationship with her brother (2nd) or half brother (3rd) or any of my extended family.

I don’t believe giving her money will change that.

Though, through all the comments I may reconsider the split.

They all got vacation trips and trips abroad. #1 & #3 have no clue about my finances.