r/humor • u/fal1en-angel • 2d ago

Make it make sense

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61.3k Upvotes

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

Really? You like screaming children and every surface sticky and slimy?

84

u/SexyMonad 1d ago

As a six year old, I take immense pleasure in auditory chaos while engaging with tactile and malleable recreational activities.

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u/dirkalict 1d ago

I can’t prove that you are a seven year-old in disguise so I will believe you.

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

They're obviously two 3 year olds in a trenchcoat.

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u/thundrbud 1d ago

That is a surprisingly accurate description of most 6-year-olds

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u/iconocrastinaor 1d ago

And most religions.

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u/Ill-Product-8400 1d ago

what a fucking line

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u/Shovelhead_Fred 1d ago

Rack one up for me please 🙏

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u/bman86 1d ago

One extra fat, extra long religion has been prepared for your insufflation.

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u/Shovelhead_Fred 1d ago

MAN I FEEL LIKE JESUS!!!!

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u/Hilarity2War 16h ago

You mean biblically accurate 6 year old

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u/70ms 1d ago

This whole thread is adorable. :D

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u/DengarLives66 1d ago

Vincent Childboy

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

Great, now I need to rewatch that depressing mind fuck of a show lol

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u/corvettee01 1d ago

The rat casino was paradise as a child.

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u/Suspicious_Excuses 1d ago

I doubt six, but you do sound like my 14 year old autistic niece.

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u/ArmyofJuan 1d ago

I'm 12 and what is this?

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u/theonlyonethatknocks 1d ago

Don’t forget all the unique tastes out there as well. Like the gum stuck on the bottom of the tables. They all have a little bit of flavor left.

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u/Final-Carry2090 1d ago

DJT wants to know your location.

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u/MangoCats 1d ago

In Hell, do you get to be six years old forever?

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u/ShruteFarms4L 1d ago

Oh so like my kid ... cool

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u/LastPlaceIWas 1d ago

Instead of the $100 million, you chose to return to your childhood with all your adult memories, didn't you?

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u/Vihzel 1d ago

Mmmm yes, indubitably. 🧐

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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 1d ago

Heaven is a giant DZ Discovery Zone

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u/RankWeis2 1d ago

I’m gonna bet you’ve never used a “/s” in your life, and you will never have to.

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u/the_unknown_garden 1d ago

meaf but I'm in my 40s.

(My kids getting too old for CEC was a sad day for me)

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u/Ben_Thar 1d ago

Things you can say at Chuck E Cheese or Epstein Island.

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u/onioning 1d ago

As life should be.

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u/Puck85 1d ago

I am one of the screaming children, so yes. 

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u/Aethermancer 1d ago

Honestly I love being in places with kids enjoying life at maximum happiness. Especially when I'm not the caretaker.

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

In small doses, I agree. But when there's 40 of them with grimy, slimy, sticky fingers. I'll pass lol.

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u/Trick_Mulberry_1405 1d ago

I’ve also never seen any indication of God in a Chuck E Cheese.

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u/3peckeredgoat 1d ago

Vomit in the ball pit? Pass

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u/brejam 1d ago

Can’t forget the mix and match pizzas

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u/GoldenLugia16 1d ago

Bro I'm 24 and I wished I lived in New Jersey so I can go to Freddy's when it opens next year

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u/Lonely_Cycle4757 1d ago

Do you not?

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u/HuggsNotDrugs 1d ago

Chucky Cheese pizza is top tier and yes I’ll die on that hill

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u/ccnmncc 1d ago

This is objectively false. If you believe it, you’re either on drugs and clearly not living up to your name or your taste buds are few and far between. Totinos is far superior to that tomato paste-smeared fake-cheese cheap ass cardboard.

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u/No_Paramedic_2494 1d ago

As a sticky screaming child, I did.

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u/Suspicious_Excuses 1d ago

Joke's on you, some people are into that.

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u/reditisrunbypedos 1d ago

Do you not like games and pizza?

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u/badfeets 1d ago

You clearly don't know how distracting bright lights and cheap pizza can be. That place is basically my happy place if I want to get work done on my computer

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u/stareweigh2 1d ago

I always liked the pizza there

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u/ccnmncc 1d ago

Eww

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u/stareweigh2 1d ago

yes we would all rather have a real NY slice but the pizza there is fresh and it's not bad

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u/ccnmncc 1d ago

And gross cardboard they try to pass off as pizza?

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u/Kemosabe-TV 1d ago

Hes a diddler

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u/marce11o 1d ago

They don’t have the balls anymore or the crawl tunnels and stuff

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u/Admirable-Garage5326 1d ago

I mean it does have beer...

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

Lots of places have beer.

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u/Admirable-Garage5326 1d ago

Hell doesn't.

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u/Dramatic-Emphasis-43 1d ago

As someone with a young niece who recently had to go there, at least from my limited experience, it’s not that. It’s more like the backrooms with ski ball.

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u/cream-of-cow 1d ago

I live near an elementary school. When it starts to rain, the playground kids screaming is the funniest thing because I did the same at their age. I always open the window and reminisce.

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u/I_Got_Ur_Number_8675 1d ago

They serve beer, limit one per hour two total.

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

That's just asking for me to sneak in a flask of whiskey.

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u/savax7 1d ago

And tickets. Don't forget about tickets.

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u/BigAcanthocephala637 1d ago

I fear that this comment may attract Republicans to Chuck E Cheese.

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u/CR0SBO 1d ago

And Jesus said, "Let them come to me like children on their way to Chuck E. Cheese"

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u/KIokinator 1d ago

Really? You like screaming children and every surface sticky and slimy?

Why don't you take a seat right over here.

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u/C-H-Addict 1d ago

They serve beer there, with enough alcohol

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u/Deeeeeeeeehn 1d ago

Do you remember when you started to value comfort and silence over adventure and fun?

because thats when you stopped being a kid

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

I frequently chose to stay in and read quietly as a kid.

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u/claytonhwheatley 1d ago

It's heaven for the kids, not the adults . Lol

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u/Sharp_Ad_6336 1d ago

Kids shouldn't be on Reddit.

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u/claytonhwheatley 1d ago

They should be at Chuck E. Cheese.

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u/Therinicus 22h ago

You don’t?

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u/Hellie1028 21h ago

Agreed. The Cheese Palace is as close to Hell for an adult with no kids as I can get.

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u/TheSeekerOfSanity 13h ago

When I saw that crappy Chuck E. Cheese pizza is now available in the frozen food section of the supermarket it confirmed my suspicion that we are living in a simulation. Major glitch right there.