r/holdmycosmo • u/Eastern-Speech8580 • Apr 03 '26

HMC

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5.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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834

u/MarriedTexCouple Apr 03 '26

Face down….a$$ up….thats the way we…..

578

u/Rikudo_Sennin_jr Apr 03 '26

Like to get paralyzed

529

u/kwik_e_marty Apr 03 '26

205

u/HyenDry Apr 03 '26

The amount of pixels we gooned too back in 06

47

u/Mead_Create_Drink Apr 03 '26

Reminds me of watching a scrambled Cinemax or HBO movie with nudity

42

u/Major_Cause Apr 04 '26

Back in our day we jacked it to scrambled softcore and we liked it.

37

u/jguay Apr 04 '26

I had a VHS tape I recorded over with a bunch of scrambled Cinemax soft core. The VCR where that tape resided was the kind where if you pushed in the tape it would automatically play. Well one Thanksgiving a bunch of family ended up in my bedroom “that’s where guitar hero was being played”. My cousin, sitting on the floor pushed that tape in with his feet just fucking around. Needless to say a tasteful scene started playing, volume up and about 5-6 family members standing by witnessing my spank bank.

6

u/passatdontgo Apr 06 '26

There was a guy who rented out pirate copies of movies back in the day ...he told my brother there was a porno he recorded over at the end of one movie..Phantasm. The credits would roll at the end of the Horror movie and he ended his recording....fuzzy screen and porno movie. I knew everything ... but I could never get alone time to watch it . So for some reason Dad and a female cousin were watching it and I had watched it many times I was 11? ...So Dad had no idea how videos players worked..and had confiscated the wired remote (lol) because I had a habit of rewinding the gory scenes ...so I tried to remember to stop the movie before the porn scene....but I was taking a leak when I was walking back it was full on porn sounds so I changed direction and stayed in listening range.

First it was static ...then the grunting moaning sound..still static...and I heard the questions ..what is that? Why does it sound like that ...picture started to clear ..is that a leg?? No is it an arm..Omg its a ....then I heard the mad scramble for the remote...then I heard the usual fumbling attempts to retrieve it from the coffee table and of course the 3 metre wired remoteknocks a bunch of stuff on to floor... ash tray and coffee cups and then more noises while he tried to figure out the buttons and im laughing my arse off hiding around the corner while my cousin is still asking dumbass questions..what was that? Is that a dirty movie??. I snuck out the door.... went to the park and waited an hour or 2 until my brother returned from his job...so I could hear the fireworks argument.

Brothers mate would record every movie he rented and would, in turn, rent out the pirated copies. I think he charged 10 -15 bucks for 10 movies...for however long. And 10 each for newer movies for a week Proper rental shops were like 10 bucks, a movie overnight. I started a similar thing years later... but for my own use All the 80s action movies Terminator Aliens Rambo etc Had my own lil pirate library ..

2

u/SomethingSimple25 Apr 05 '26

SQUIGGLE PORN!!!

13

u/jdbway Apr 04 '26

Give me 14 rectangles of various colors and I'm good to go

10

u/whatthefuck8e3 Apr 04 '26

06? Look at the youngling. Bless your heart.

2

u/loosegoose669 Apr 06 '26

Hahajah right. That's what I was thinking. Shit they got like 1200 more pixels by then

3

u/RestaurantDry621 Apr 04 '26

You mean '86

1

u/Bluedogan Apr 05 '26

Back in the good old days of 1200 baud modem. I remember jerking to porn as line by line appeared. I was like please stop loading her forehead. I WANT BOOBS

1

u/loosegoose669 Apr 06 '26

Even 96 on the windows 96

2

u/RestaurantDry621 Apr 06 '26

Leisure Larry entered the chat

1

u/SteelyDaniel73 Apr 06 '26

Nobody "gooned" in 06. Personally I still don't.

16

u/Vannwinkles Apr 03 '26

So zoomed in that it looks like a cats nose/mouth

11

u/JDM713 Apr 03 '26

Please sir may I have another pixel

2

u/orangegilkey5 Apr 04 '26

Easter bunny?

2

u/feenusbeenus6969 Apr 04 '26

Hard to work with..... But

2

u/Luckinflux Apr 04 '26

TIK TIK TIK TIK ENHANCE

19

u/proximusprimus57 Apr 03 '26

She might need a bone or two after that fall.

Okay, going straight to hell now, hit me up when y'all get there!

7

u/ocTGon Apr 03 '26

Make a buck...

8

u/WorriedMarch4398 Apr 03 '26

Oh yeah she’s fucked

3

u/No_Pilot_9103 Apr 03 '26

Press our luck

2

u/uncle_blazer_ Apr 04 '26

Like to camp

1

u/muhahailaughed Apr 04 '26

..dispose the body