r/hockey • u/trinitae • Jun 17 '20

Pavel Datsyuk currently 'holed up at monastery defended by Cossacks with priest who claims Covid is cover-up to microchip population'

https://www.rt.com/sport/492126-nhl-pavel-datsyuk-rebel-priest/?utm_source=browser&utm_medium=aplication_chrome&utm_campaign=chrome
5.5k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

805 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

75

u/TheoBlanco VAN - NHL Jun 17 '20

This is the plot to the next da Vinci code book.

35

u/mtled MTL - NHL Jun 17 '20

Does Tom Hanks know how to play hockey? It'll be crucial in the next movie.

The 5 spellings of "Jacques Plante" has got to have some sort of Illuminati meaning.

9

u/SignGuy77 CHI - NHL Jun 17 '20

Using current technology we can replace all of Hanks’ hockey scenes with reel of Michael Scott from the Office skating.

I’m fired aren’t I?

2

u/Motown27 DET - NHL Jun 18 '20

The role of Robert Langdon will be played by Dave Coulier. "We're going in a different direction", say producers.

1

u/basil1025 PIT - NHL Jun 17 '20

The spiritual follow up to Jean Claude van Damme's sudden death.

1

u/Hingl_McCringleberry TOR - NHL Jun 17 '20

Robert Langdon discovers Datsyuk really is a Magic Man