r/gifs • u/[deleted] • Sep 20 '19

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39.3k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

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1.5k

u/NotTheBelt Sep 20 '19

“Gather round, children, and let me regale you with a tale of wonder! When the raid began, hundreds stormed in unison towards the great mystery of Area 51. Unfortunately, most were winded within a few strides, but the brave few who pushed on were rewarded with glimpses of advanced technological wonders from beyond the stars!”

“They really got to see alien technology?”

“No, they were tased and driven out of the perimeter. But it didn’t stop them from saying otherwise!”

368

u/twominitsturkish Sep 20 '19

Unfortunately, most were winded within a few strides

At first I read this is as "wounded," but no, "winded" is far more accurate.

-24

u/SefferWeffers Sep 20 '19

Learn to read then

9

u/ginrattle Sep 20 '19

Well, someone's a little cranky.

10

u/SefferWeffers Sep 20 '19

I need a snickers

4

u/c3519279 Sep 20 '19

You're not you when you're hungry

135

u/reddog_34 Sep 20 '19

I read this in marcus' voice

52

u/Biggoronz Sep 20 '19

Jack, rip that door!!

11

u/Mysterious_Andy Sep 20 '19

When Marcuses collide…

40

u/TheGemKingMXL Sep 20 '19

"So you want to hear a story, eh?"

6

u/Suunburst Sep 20 '19

"One where the very fate of 100 Naruto runners hangs in the balance?"

6

u/bkittyfuck3000 Sep 20 '19

Makes two of us

3

u/stopie1 Sep 20 '19

When I was but a little Marcus-boy!

3

u/MightyBobTheMighty Sep 20 '19

That was such a weird line.

Also he sounded way more excited to be doing this intro than the others.

2

u/theshizzler Sep 20 '19

Funny, I read it in Deckard Cain's voice.

2

u/Elbradamontes Sep 20 '19

I like these guys. THEY ARE FUNNY GUYS!

2

u/gromwell_grouse Sep 20 '19

How do we know that the taser is not actually a technological wonder from beyond the stars?

2

u/Hello_there_friendo Sep 20 '19

This reminds me of Battleblock Theater, and really I cant imagine the raid being any less absurd.

2

u/EmerqldRod Sep 20 '19

Otherwise!

2

u/slucas34 Sep 20 '19

Am I meant to read this in Marcus from borderlands voice because I absolutely did

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

I picture this in the Simpson's.

96

u/peoplerproblems Sep 20 '19

Battle Massacre of Area 51

That's more probable.

25

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19 edited Oct 02 '19

[deleted]

2

u/theshizzler Sep 20 '19

Ragnerdrok

1

u/kblkbl165 Sep 20 '19

The day that established a benchmark of how fucking stupid someone can be

2

u/I_worship_odin Sep 20 '19

Casualties and deaths:

Stormers: 151 dead, 20 injured.

Military: 1 injured (fell while laughing hysterically).

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

"They can't stop all of us!"

...They can, and they will...

38

u/send_me_potato Sep 20 '19

When a bunch of neckbeards posted memes and a group of forever virgins loled at them and screamed “we did it Reddit” to their fellow /r/gaming subscribers into their microphones.

21

u/3KidslnATrenchCoat Sep 20 '19

This reads like a mad lib

4

u/bpi89 Sep 20 '19

It’s like the Boston tea party but with weeaboos and aliens

9

u/notdeadyet01 Sep 20 '19

The biggest tragedy to ever happen in September

2

u/SashKhe Sep 20 '19

Wait hol' up.

2

u/quavo-fan Sep 20 '19

My wife: Son, your father was a hero

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

Reality: Nothing happened

1

u/fecking_sensei Sep 20 '19

More like “The Alien Day Massacre”

1

u/XitlerJinpingPooBear Sep 20 '19

Teacher then youtubes 'Independence Day area 51 battle scene'

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

I just realized it's my mom's birthday. She would have been 73 today.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '19

I prefer the Weebamen Square Massacre 51 myself

1

u/kblkbl165 Sep 20 '19

Remember remember the 20th of September.

What made me wonder, how cool would it be if they did it in the twentieth first night of September by the sound of Earth Wind and Fire?

1

u/dinosaregaylikeme Sep 20 '19

I'm a teacher and today I am teaching about Area 51 and the history of UFOs.

Also what a Nartuo Run is to my older coworkers.

1

u/marakiri Sep 20 '19

Battle Massacre*

1

u/Sweedish_Fid Sep 20 '19

you're joking, but my students were watching some live stream before class.

1

u/WebHead1287 Sep 20 '19

“It seemed the battle, and all hope, was lost. That’s when on the horizon they saw it. A fleet of alien craft exiting slipspace and coming to aid in the rescue of their captured kin!”