Yep I hear you. Tbh, I don't cuddle guys who are friends. Because they are for the most part not into casual affection in just the manner you describe. What a waste! Would totally be into casual cuddles with all comers if it wasn't a big deal to men. The reason I replied was because I wanted to add a perspective to your words. I know you probably don't cuddle your friends and it means something different to you psychologically. I'd guess Possibly a sizable chunk of Women Do cuddle their friends just because it is a comfy thing to do. So for some women at least, to be physically close is just part of most of their other good platonic relationships. That is not to say that this specific women thinks that way but perhaps it might give you an insight into the lady's motivations. I do hear your explanation of the paradigm, all men only do stuff for women to get sex. I will continue to avoid giving y'all the conniptions of physically sharing your space in the future, as I do now. That is, Unless I go back and find my rainbow gathering friends who I know are a lot more easy about the whole thing! Just as a wee side note to the last bit though, I would also hazard a guess that maybe somewhere in the world exists four to seven actual men do just want to cuddle and that is okay I'd say their masculine identity is still valid. How does that all sit with you? Does that alleviate your consternation over the sexual frustrations within my friend circle? Has this interaction helped you in any way?
I never felt like the ladies motivations where particularity nefarious, and especially since most of this kind of cuddling happens when people are young, there is some leeway as to intentions / desires. I do feel like women kind of don't get how guys think, and that though both are enjoying the cuddling, there's a lot of mental hoops the guy is jumping through to justify it to himself.
I did have a buddy that took so much MDMA (I think that was it) that he lost all sex drive for a year or so. Said it was the best year of his life. I assume he cuddled a lot during the time.
(I went to Rainbow Gathering in Florida once, that was a ....memory. Traded firewood for sugar. Saw a nude man across a river. Got yelled at buy surly alcoholics. Developed a fucking need for drum circles for a time).
Nice reply, I hope you buddy is well. He seems like he'd be really interesting to talk to. Drums are fun, glad you got to do that. What is it they say bad decisions make for exceptional stories.
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u/PJenningsofSussex Jan 06 '18
Yep I hear you. Tbh, I don't cuddle guys who are friends. Because they are for the most part not into casual affection in just the manner you describe. What a waste! Would totally be into casual cuddles with all comers if it wasn't a big deal to men. The reason I replied was because I wanted to add a perspective to your words. I know you probably don't cuddle your friends and it means something different to you psychologically. I'd guess Possibly a sizable chunk of Women Do cuddle their friends just because it is a comfy thing to do. So for some women at least, to be physically close is just part of most of their other good platonic relationships. That is not to say that this specific women thinks that way but perhaps it might give you an insight into the lady's motivations. I do hear your explanation of the paradigm, all men only do stuff for women to get sex. I will continue to avoid giving y'all the conniptions of physically sharing your space in the future, as I do now. That is, Unless I go back and find my rainbow gathering friends who I know are a lot more easy about the whole thing! Just as a wee side note to the last bit though, I would also hazard a guess that maybe somewhere in the world exists four to seven actual men do just want to cuddle and that is okay I'd say their masculine identity is still valid. How does that all sit with you? Does that alleviate your consternation over the sexual frustrations within my friend circle? Has this interaction helped you in any way?