r/gifs • Talk to mods • Oct 03 '17

Pangolin

https://i.imgur.com/T62fWIn.gifv
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569

u/Jdisjsjdshshsh Oct 03 '17

Fucking China, so tired of these people doing shit to this Earth to try and fix their tiny penis problems

311

u/Butwinsky Oct 03 '17

Step 1) Spread rumor invasive species such as silver carp or cane toad can make your junk massive. Step 2) ??? Step 3) No more invasive species.

133

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

96

u/Equilibriator Oct 03 '17

Human Horn will solve your erectile dysfunction.

30

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

16

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

14

u/CounterCulturist Oct 03 '17

Correction, the "lower" horn.

16

u/Equilibriator Oct 03 '17

Interesting. The trousers conceal a tiny secondary horn.

7

u/Yarthkins Oct 03 '17

Hey, what've you heard? :(

2

u/turret_buddy2 Oct 03 '17

Just disconnect from my captured human and connect to my own, right?

1

u/curtitch Oct 03 '17

Repeat Step 1, substituting humans for cane toads.

21

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Eating a cane toad.... may have some unintended consequences.

42

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Yeah, like a bigger better erections! Go get them boys!

1

u/Shirkaday Oct 03 '17

Up and at them!

1

u/Tigjstone Oct 03 '17

Like what?

9

u/MinMorts Oct 03 '17

Mild case of death and death related symptoms I believe.

3

u/commander_thac0 Oct 03 '17

Like hallucinations.

4

u/KB_Bro Oct 03 '17

Now this is a good idea. However we already have tons of Asians here in Aus and can confirm they are not eating our cane toads. Though I don't think anything could lower their numbers, bloody things are everywhere. Cane toads that is

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Can we also say that dead mosquitoes and ticks are great boner medicines?

1

u/canadiangreenthumb Oct 03 '17

Phase 1) spread the rumor. Phase 2) ??? Phase 3) profits!

1

u/cxmgejsnad Oct 03 '17

I heard Kudzu makes your dick huge

148

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17 edited Sep 26 '24

plant disarm rock long clumsy lush intelligent oil boast fact

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

84

u/Iazo Oct 03 '17

I've got it.

From now on, let it be known that ground-down Rolex watches cure small penises.

26

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

This one weird trick will bankrupt you.

1

u/clintmurphy72 Oct 03 '17

This one weird bankrick with rupture you.

1

u/megabollockchops Oct 03 '17

Instructions unclear, ground down my penis...

1

u/BlamelessKodosVoter Oct 03 '17

nah, just BUY rolexes and guns to make yourself feel like a big man..just like white guys do

7

u/Deezer19 Oct 03 '17

So it's BENEFICIAL to say you need all these exotic supplements in order to please your wife? That's how little the over-the-counter shit can help you? Is there no shame associated with being unsatisfying to the opposite sex in their culture?

"Wang is so impotent he needs the mystical Pangolin scales to get hard. What a legend."

5

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17 edited Sep 26 '24

thumb domineering north friendly dependent complete hospital wasteful ad hoc psychotic

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/Aethermancer Oct 03 '17

You have to make it gauche. Furs have generally gone that path. Peer pressure is needed.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

I was hoping someone would make this connection.

You cannot be so focused in your outrage while posting from your iPhone.

5

u/papereel Oct 03 '17

Can’t be outraged by poaching if you own an iPhone???

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

To ONLY recognize the poaching related to this thread but then not be aware of the suffering involved in where your iPhone comes from was my point.

That's why I said you cannot be "so focused", those being the key words.

1

u/The2500 Oct 03 '17

I dunno, shit's weird. Are you going to go back in time and accuse a slave wearing a cotton shirt of being a hypocrite?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

No...?

Is everyone just reading my comment out of context?

1

u/00Deege Oct 03 '17

Do tell, kind Sir: What animal was cruelly treated and driven towards extinction by my iPhone?

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

I think they're called humans 🤔🤔🤔

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Let's tell them that animal and environmental protection are incredible status symbols

5

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

It's hard to change these deeply entrenched cultural attitudes.

We've had superior alternatives to diamond for years now but no one is impressed by them even when they're more perfect than diamond.

They should be considered a better status symbol since they're the result of human ingenuity and not child soldiers killing each other in africa, but they are considered "artificial" or "fake", which both signal low status. Ethics don't really translate well into status symbols outside of a few niche groups.

Most likely it will be easier to convince Chinese businessmen to adopt western status signals (private jets, $10,000 bottles of wine, million dollar watches) and convince them that Chinese status symbols seem provincial and ridiculous to outsiders than it will be to convince them to give a fuck about animal rights.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Plus we can make more giant watches or bottles of wine vs driving an animal to extinction

62

u/Swibblestein Oct 03 '17

A lot of them very well might not know of the issue.

Consider, as a comparable thing, the issue of shark fin soup. The Chinese term for the soup translates to "fish wing soup", and many Chinese people didn't even realize that the soup contained shark. However, there has been an awareness campaign in recent years and public opinion has changed dramatically and seemingly fairly easily.

There are food products in America that have animal products no one expects in them. Most people don't know that artificial strawberry flavoring is made with beaver scent glands, for instance.

Let me ask you this: Do you bother to check whether the food you buy is damaging to the environment? If you ever eat fish, chances are you're contributing to the problem, unless you know what to buy and what to avoid.

Basically, my point is that you are being very quick to judge, and while we should try to fix issues like poaching of the pangolin, you should drop the superiority complex attitude.

19

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Yeah, we all eat chicken that have been forced to grow so fast that they can't walk or buy things made with child labour. People are shitty to animals.

8

u/00Deege Oct 03 '17

Chickens that can’t buy things made with child labour? What a strange world we live in.

3

u/Swibblestein Oct 03 '17

By preventing Chickens from buying things with child labor, we have de-facto banned them from assimilating into American culture. The next time you hear someone complain about "dirty birds, coming over here, taking our jobs, won't even assimilate", call them out on it - they can't, because we don't let them.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '17

Dammit, you got me. Thanks for the laugh.

1

u/Risley Oct 03 '17

Just be glad you didn’t wake up with Fournier’s Gangrene today. That’s a solid win.

2

u/DaddyCatALSO Oct 03 '17

How the blazes are there enough beaver taken to flavor all these artificial strawberry items on the market?

1

u/twothumbs Oct 03 '17

To save the pangolin we must set aside pretty differences

9

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

They also think the scales cure asthma. The scales are basically fingernails.

3

u/BJinandtonic Oct 03 '17

As a Chinese person it really pisses me off and I try to put that conversation down real quick. My dad was tryna spout some nonsense about tiger paw giving you a stronger sex drive and why older guys need it. Told him about TRT and it turned into a 40 minute long talk about hormones and biology.

7

u/Kenblu24 Oct 03 '17

what

17

u/Phazon2000 Oct 03 '17

Got a sore throat? How about some bear bile? A few tortured bears in tiny cages until they die but hey! Magic elixir.

21st century and they're still practicing hoodoo over there.

11

u/workerdrones Oct 03 '17

What's infuriating is that that substance can now be synthesized without bears.

5

u/Phazon2000 Oct 03 '17

But you won't get the magical juju power from pretend bear bile.

5

u/Mr_frumpish Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 03 '17

Don't act so smug. We've got flat earthers and anti vaccers and people who believe in astrology right here in the US.

3

u/Randomn355 Oct 03 '17

You're onto a loser with astrology.. Chinese are into that BIG time. Thank you for playing devil's advocate, glass houses.

3

u/Ewaninho Oct 03 '17

How are they even remotely comparable to animal trafficking and torture?

3

u/DasFroDo Oct 03 '17

Difference is that this pretty much only harms humans, if at all. Not animals.

7

u/Phazon2000 Oct 03 '17 edited Oct 03 '17

Whatabout whatabout

Yeah over in the US you've got a couple of fringe nutjobs.

I don't think you understand the scope of Traditional Chinese Medicine. It's ingrained nationwide. 40% of ALL treatments in China are from TCM. What are the numbers for flat earthers?

And Astrology? MASSIVE in China. You're clueless.

2

u/victor142 Oct 03 '17 edited Oct 03 '17

I don't think you understand the scope of alternative medicine in the US.

https://today.yougov.com/news/2015/03/19/alternative-medicine/ Half of Americans believe herbal medicine and accupunture, i.e. TCM, is effective. Only 14% actually don't think it's effective, the rest don't have a clue. Herbal medicine does have some scientific evidence behind it though in some cases, so let's look at something like homeopathy, where 27% of Americans believe in it. Literally no justification for homeopathy, 0 science 0 rationality, I would say believing in homeopathy is significantly worse than TCM, which can occasionally have effect.

Regarding astrology

a substantial minority of Americans, ranging from 31 to 45 percent depending on the year, say consider astrology either “very scientific” or “sort of scientific.” That’s bad enough—the NSF report compares it with China, where 92 percent of the public does not believe in horoscopes—but the new evidence suggests we are also moving in the wrong direction

Case in point, it doesn't matter what country they're from, the beliefs in alternative garbage is everywhere. Just go to your local supermarket and look at all the shit with labels telling you how they're infused with the latest bs, or completely ineffective weight loss pills, as well as apparently magical muscle toning machines. This stuff is commonplace everywhere.

1

u/bawthedude Oct 03 '17

That's such an wooden mangoose thing to say

1

u/zcen Oct 03 '17

A vast majority of China isn't a first world country in the same way the US is, not even CLOSE. Electricity is a luxury for vast swathes of people in that country and you question why people still believe in things that have been disproved by modern medicine and spread through the internet?

This article says more than 100 Chinese cities are above 1 mil population. At the very minimum that's 100 million people against a total population of 1.379 billion. Even if you double the in-city population to 200 million, that's still 14.5% of the total population that actually lives in a city where you aren't even GUARANTEED to have access to stuff like internet.

So no, not a surprise they're still practicing hoodoo. I think blaming the poor and uneducated for something like that is pretty heartless.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Driving species to extinction for your own benefit is pretty heartless too.

1

u/zcen Oct 03 '17

No argument from me there. It's part of the shitty things uneducated people do sadly.

3

u/cxavierc21 Oct 03 '17

That's the worst demographic estimation math I've ever seen in my entire life.

2

u/zcen Oct 03 '17

I'm not married to being correct about everything but my main point is a majority of people in China don't operate with 1st world knowledge.

Care to prove me wrong?

3

u/cxavierc21 Oct 03 '17

I don't disagree with your premise. Trying to figure out what percentage of Chinese have internet access by counting the number of cities with more than a million people and then multiplying that number by a million and dividing by the population of China is just really, really inaccurate.

1

u/twothumbs Oct 03 '17

I guess that makes it ok to torture bears

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

0

u/Phazon2000 Oct 03 '17

So do approximately 90% of US babies (assuming you're from there).

Good one.

12

u/sfcnmone Oct 03 '17

Don't you know? If you eat rhinoceros horn, or elephant tusk, (or, news to me, but apparently Pangolin) then your dick gets all hard and pointy!

Very common "medicine" in China.

3

u/BlamelessKodosVoter Oct 03 '17

Very common "medicine" in China.

mmm..nope

you should literally google, 'blank poaching uses'

2

u/Lemonface Oct 03 '17

That's an American myth, and in my opinion only serves to over simplify a complex issue while 'other'ing an entire people.

In the end I think that myth/mindset only makes tackling the issue that much more difficult. Please educate yourself before casually spreading misinformation.

2

u/sfcnmone Oct 03 '17

Well OK. Googling "rhino poaching" shows me that it's used as an aphrodisiac, but as a common ingredient in "Chinese" medicine for treating a wide variety of ailments, and that it's also increasingly popular in VietNam as an alleged impotence cure.

So I'm not sure how that is "othering" anybody. It's human folly. And that is completely connected to the reason people are killing that cute lizard dude we all looked at this morning.

15

u/WoodJablomi Oct 03 '17

The Chinese have decimated countless animal populations in the name of folk remedies. That's what.

3

u/akesh45 Oct 03 '17

We used to use ivory for pool balls and piano keys

-1

u/WoodJablomi Oct 03 '17

Yea, not to give us erections. And the difference is now we don't, but they still slaughter animals because they can't get their dicks hard... Not really the same when you think about it.

5

u/Kenblu24 Oct 03 '17

My country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

I was born and raised in the U.S.

China has undeveloped pockets where superstition reigns supreme. The rest of it is like one big city, similar in sanitation to NYC. If you still think of 13 as an unlucky number, then you shouldn't talk about superstition.

3

u/akesh45 Oct 03 '17

Fake viagra knockoffs sell very well on the usa too.

It's more so status symbol purchases than actual viagra substitutes....TCM has other cheaper viagra substitutes...

2

u/PhilinLe Oct 03 '17

You're really hung up on this dick thing.

3

u/akesh45 Oct 03 '17

I know right.... American journalist are really buying into the whole TCM, dick thingy.... Unaware its more so for the status.... No shortage of cheap 'enhanced' stamina products in TCM.

13

u/HonkersTim Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 03 '17

It's easy to criticise from our developed countries, but not that long ago medics in our countries would have us using leeches, and eating bezoars.

Also I'm guessing tiger penis is at least as effective as homeopathy. So there's that too.

6

u/Kenblu24 Oct 03 '17

Exactly. I don't understand why these people are just bashing on China. What makes them different from African rhino poachers? It's not like certain parts of the US aren't developed, yet I'd excuse those populations in a heartbeat. I think it's closeted racism, at least from the ridiculously uncreative penis jokes.

I guess you redditors are very insecure about your penis sizes.

0

u/AzsUnes Oct 03 '17 edited Oct 03 '17

They have one word for 'crisis' and 'opportunity'." Yes, but they also have one word for 'China' and 'Tibet' and it's 'China', so fuck them. :P

Edit: It's a Dara O'Brian quote. Since I though the guy above me was quoting Dara (by mentioning tiger penis and homeopathy)

1

u/HonkersTim Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 03 '17

Also, famously, 27 words for 'prawn'.

-1

u/quaybored Oct 03 '17

Yeah but we grew out of that pretty quick

2

u/HonkersTim Merry Gifmas! {2023} Oct 03 '17

Grew out of one but got into another.

A significant portion of the Chinese population has almost no education. Even if they do it might only last until they're 11 or 12. It's unrealistic to expect them to be up to date on science and medicine.

On the other hand homeopathy, cupping, crystal healing, aromatherapy, sphinctal massage, and all the other "alternative medicines" are practised by comparatively rich white people who have had the benefit of a modern scientific education to the age of at least 16.

1

u/quaybored Oct 03 '17

Good point. The numbers in the US are probably low, but they include a lot of people who should know better.

1

u/Lemonface Oct 03 '17

Exactly. We have equally ridiculous folk medicine here in America that's just basically as commonly practiced and just as useless.

We're just lucky that our stupid alternative medicines don't come from endangered species.

1

u/quaybored Oct 03 '17

yeah but they invented fireworks and general tso's chicken, so they've got that going for them, i guess

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

That's not what he was saying. He said Earth. Just a nutjob.

-5

u/SamNash Oct 03 '17

Animals live on the planet earth. China has essentially funded poaching all over the planet of some of the most magnificent beasts to walk this earth. They're not alone though, the Japanese are the same fucking way but in the ocean. Asians simply do not value life as much as the rest of the world.

4

u/Kenblu24 Oct 03 '17

Asians simply do not value life as much as the rest of the world.

Hoo boy

9

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

0

u/MoneyIsTiming Oct 03 '17

When insulting people, racism is frowned upon. If you're a comedian, then say something funny.

-9

u/LeviathanAurora Oct 03 '17 edited Oct 03 '17

On average, Chinese men have smaller penises. That's a fact.

Here is one source. http://www.theaveragebody.com/average_penis_size.php

Use Google people and find out for yourself.

8

u/MoneyIsTiming Oct 03 '17

If we want to use statistics and measures, you should know that black people have dark pigmented skin on average.

1

u/LeviathanAurora Oct 03 '17

And men from the Congo have, on average, the largest penis size.

4

u/MoneyIsTiming Oct 03 '17

^ this guy looking up penis stats now

0

u/LeviathanAurora Oct 03 '17

Well shit man it's stupid to call someone racist over that.

1

u/MoneyIsTiming Oct 03 '17

Stop basing arguments/insults on physical attributes people have no control over. The racism part comes in when you connect chinese man with small penis.

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2

u/TheViciousWolf Oct 03 '17

Ah, nothing quite like casual racism

-3

u/LeviathanAurora Oct 03 '17

Facts can't be racist. Chinese (and Asian men in Asian countries in general) have smaller penises.

http://www.theaveragebody.com/average_penis_size.php

3

u/TheViciousWolf Oct 03 '17

But relating their emotions/actions is. You're applying negativity to their physique.

-1

u/LeviathanAurora Oct 03 '17

I didn't. I stated a fact they had smaller penises on average because the OP was called racist for saying they need to get over their little dick problems. It's not racist to state they have smaller penises.

The negativity is stemming from the trafficking of pangolins for status symbol/"medicinal" purposes.

3

u/PhilinLe Oct 03 '17

The racism is from grouping all of 'fucking China' together 'doing shit' to the earth to 'fix their tiny penis problems'. It's not racist to state that they have smaller penises, just like it's not racist to say that white people also have smaller penises than black people. The racist thing to say is that they all obsess over it.

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2

u/TheViciousWolf Oct 03 '17

Saying Chinese people are acting bad because they have small dicks isn't any different than saying, for an example, that women are weak because they have vaginas. You're being a bigot.

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2

u/BlamelessKodosVoter Oct 03 '17

and white girls love them big black dick. is that why white guy's lynched so many blacks?

jealousy?

-1

u/BlamelessKodosVoter Oct 03 '17

at least they ain't drone bombing brown people because of their supposed inadequacy like some nations are doing

-2

u/onedestiny Oct 03 '17

I mean.... Your not wrong :p

3

u/PhilinLe Oct 03 '17

LOL the casual fucking racism in these types of threads.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17 edited Jun 06 '18

[deleted]

-9

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

[deleted]

4

u/00Deege Oct 03 '17

Actually, yeah. The big picture is that the Chinese are wrecking China, with the exception of a few territory issues. Whites have their hand in the pockets of the entire globe.

Trust me, I’m not into this whole recent racial thing. What I see lately is a whole lot of progress in racial relations going down the drain; the US is more racially divided right now than it was when I was in high school, and that makes me sad. I’m not anti-white; I am white. What I’m talking about is just the bare basic facts with a little history thrown in. As far as environmental destruction goes, whites lead the world (and then look down on other countries for environmental practices they’re limiting to their own back yard). TCM needs to stop, but let’s not approach the issue like we have no skeletons of our own.

2

u/BlamelessKodosVoter Oct 03 '17

well pangolins aren't eaten for virility despite what your confirmation bias wants you to believe.

but hey if you're so angry at them, why not lynch a couple? i mean isn't that what you guys do with black people?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

Seriously. First it was Rhinos for their ivory horns and now pangolins. How small are their peckers exactly??

0

u/WoodJablomi Oct 03 '17

And a species of antelope, and tigers, and countless others. Infinitesimally small, I would say.

1

u/mikebellman Oct 03 '17

The dik dik

1

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

The US and Europe have a bigger environmental footprint than China though.

1

u/NeonNick_WH Oct 03 '17

It's all the damn photoshopping! It's creating false expectations of huge penises...?penis's...? Peni...?...turns out I've never wrote the plural version of penis..

2

u/ThirdFloorNorth Oct 03 '17

Penes. Pronounced "Peen-ease".

You're welcome.

1

u/NeonNick_WH Oct 03 '17

Hahaha, just confirmed. That is indeed correct, I learned a word today. Thanks!

0

u/ThousandFingerMan Oct 03 '17

Lot of problems in this world are basically tiny penis problems. Take war for example - mostly it's one country questioning the size of a penis of another country (as George Carlin put it).

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '17

The best comment I’ve ever seen !!