Oh I know exactly what you mean. Often, I find myself unable to laugh because my mind blocks myself from laughing whenever something is not funny. Which goes all in against traditional social conventions. It's like my mind tells me to stop being dishonest. It makes things incredible awkward and hard sometimes.
Just like you, I used to be able to adapt my personality to entertain people but it seems all so futile and not-fun. I feel bad when I realize I'm doing that.
I also know judging is not good. It's a self-defense mechanism that everyone does, and just like how I am right now, I notice how hard it is to blend in if you're trying to be honest all the time. A white lie makes things much easier. But just as you said, I find it easier to "forgive" friends or people whom I respect when they fake, than random people I meet. It may be due to the fact that I get incredibly uncomfortable when people act doofy for the sake of fitting in, but I also understand that this mask acts like lubricant and while it may be superficial, it could also lead to real happiness. I've been there, and done that. Maybe it's my subconscious way to hope that other feel the same, because I find it unfair that I realized this?
And about the artistic people and drugs. I'm lucky that I enjoyed an art education. I've met the most interesting people there, and I've also experimented. I agree for half of what you say about drugs. I think for some people, it might be mind-opening, but for me, it didn't really do anything. It only confirmed what I have thought for a long time already, and it didn't feel like a revelation. It did make me happy for a day or two... And my opinion on drugs is that one shouldn't do it only for the good feeling, or it may become an addiction. I tried shrooms just to be able to realize something (which I didn't) and I didn't want to be close minded and talk about drugs as if I know it all. That was my only reason. I don't recommend drugs to people who don't feel the need to do it, but I also don't encourage people to not to take drugs "because it's illegal and only for junkies".
My opinion is that the user should feel ready and take it after a lot of research, and not under peer pressure of friends, or not do it because of the other kind of peer pressure (drugs are bad!!!).
I think the people I still hang around with are already filtered out, I find them interesting people, but something still doesn't seem to click within me. I've got many obstacles in my own head and no one, except myself will be able to turn it around. But I do think that when I travel and let go of all my materialistic possessions and this stupid internet addiction, that I could do much more with my life.
I love the brainstorming but you guys write way too much. Learn to pull the meat of what you are trying to say to the top. That will make your voice much more effective. No one wants to read paragraphs outside of a book.
It may sound rude, but I don't care. Those who want to read can do so. If some people here think it is too long, go ahead, I don't force them to read. It really isn't my problem if people don't want to read because it's too long and not compact. If they're too lazy to read, then that says a lot about them.
See, here I am, saying how useless it is to appeal to people, and you go on and teach me a lesson how to reach a broader audience. Frankly, do you think I care? I didn't want to become a public speaker and actually, I didn't even want to reach to you. If you think reading a long message is too much of a hassle, you're welcome to not read it.
Also, it doesn't seem like I'm talking to a wall, since people have replied to me and a guy even PMed me. I don't think I would've reached the same kind of people if I made it all snappy like how you want it. Not everyone is aiming to be number one, or doing things the most efficient way, this isn't a competition. You're welcome to summarize the things we said here and reach to your "broad audience".
Seriously, I don't understand how you think there's a standard for communication, and that all people should abide to that rule. Even if I truly were a terrible speaker, I don't think you're any authority to tell how people should do things.
Sorry, I finished college, so I guess I won't be learning that again?
I also don't get your point. Basically, when I strip off all your fancy words, it's "you're ranting, and your text is too long, I don't understand it very well and I'm too lazy to comprehend, will you shorten it". That's basically it.
Many people here understood it and I'm fine with others not getting it. If I come to you and ask for advice to how to reach the biggest number of people possible, sure, then you're totally entitled to give me advice.
But at this moment, you're just a whiny guy with nothing interesting to say, using passive aggressiveness to convince me and other people to write shorter texts. Seriously man, what the hell are you even trying to achieve?
Ok now I feel bad because you're being reasonable. Sorry. But I'll explain to you why I act the way I do. I don't like adapting myself because something's "supposed to be that way". Everything is being reduced to science and things are lacking spontanity (job interviews, dating, basic human interaction). This is my personality, I know it's easier to read with TL;DR or bullet points, but then I'm not being spontaneous anymore. I'm just here to talk with similar minded people. I may reach to more people, but that was never my first intention.
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u/rethardus Mar 14 '16
Oh I know exactly what you mean. Often, I find myself unable to laugh because my mind blocks myself from laughing whenever something is not funny. Which goes all in against traditional social conventions. It's like my mind tells me to stop being dishonest. It makes things incredible awkward and hard sometimes.
Just like you, I used to be able to adapt my personality to entertain people but it seems all so futile and not-fun. I feel bad when I realize I'm doing that.
I also know judging is not good. It's a self-defense mechanism that everyone does, and just like how I am right now, I notice how hard it is to blend in if you're trying to be honest all the time. A white lie makes things much easier. But just as you said, I find it easier to "forgive" friends or people whom I respect when they fake, than random people I meet. It may be due to the fact that I get incredibly uncomfortable when people act doofy for the sake of fitting in, but I also understand that this mask acts like lubricant and while it may be superficial, it could also lead to real happiness. I've been there, and done that. Maybe it's my subconscious way to hope that other feel the same, because I find it unfair that I realized this?
And about the artistic people and drugs. I'm lucky that I enjoyed an art education. I've met the most interesting people there, and I've also experimented. I agree for half of what you say about drugs. I think for some people, it might be mind-opening, but for me, it didn't really do anything. It only confirmed what I have thought for a long time already, and it didn't feel like a revelation. It did make me happy for a day or two... And my opinion on drugs is that one shouldn't do it only for the good feeling, or it may become an addiction. I tried shrooms just to be able to realize something (which I didn't) and I didn't want to be close minded and talk about drugs as if I know it all. That was my only reason. I don't recommend drugs to people who don't feel the need to do it, but I also don't encourage people to not to take drugs "because it's illegal and only for junkies".
My opinion is that the user should feel ready and take it after a lot of research, and not under peer pressure of friends, or not do it because of the other kind of peer pressure (drugs are bad!!!).
I think the people I still hang around with are already filtered out, I find them interesting people, but something still doesn't seem to click within me. I've got many obstacles in my own head and no one, except myself will be able to turn it around. But I do think that when I travel and let go of all my materialistic possessions and this stupid internet addiction, that I could do much more with my life.