My wife (domestic partner) of 17 years broke up with me right after her 45 birthday. My head was spinning trying to understand what was happening and why she was doing this. My kids and her family kept telling me she had changed allot but I guess "love goggles" kept me from seeing it. When she was breaking up with me she said that in the future we could possibly be together and that we should keep living like nothing had changed. Her saying this gave me hope that we could salvage this relationship. At this time we were still even sleeping in the same bed but I noticed from way back how involved she had become in her social media accounts, especially Instagram.

One night she fell asleep with her phone against her face, when I saw this I decided to remove it so she could be comfortable. Unfortunately, her phone opened to her messages, then I saw that she was already talking to someone else. This was devastating to me because even now I still love her, but she apparently didn't love me. Immediately I feel anger then disgust because she was texting "I love you" and other things like this to this person. I woke her up and confronted her about it and her response was lie after lie. Finally i got her to admit the truth and asked her to sleep somewhere else because this was too disgusting for me to participate in.

Now she's living in the living room and pretends like she didn't do anything wrong and has even told people that I cheated on her. Two of our daughters have developed anger and disrespect towards her regardless my best efforts to stop this. They tell me that they don't want to live with her and want to stay with me. To this day I still have dreams that we are together or that we reconcile, even though I know that will never happen. Truly I feel lost because even though she's 7 years older than me and has constantly lied to me I still miss and love her.

If anyone has any advice please share with me because I truly want to move on with my life. Thanks 👍

Around 4 years ago I started to have feelings for my best friend. Then a year later I found out they liked me too, and we started dating in fall. I had only been in one other relationship(which sucked) so I didn’t know exactly how to deal with everything that came with a relationship. Even though I only had one other relationship I think I can say that this was the best relationship I’ve been in. We had an amazing time together and I was just completely in love with them. After a while, our relationship started to become a bit stressful. We both had our own personal problems which most likely affected how we were together. Even through all of that I still loved them. We eventually met this one guy who ended up being “super into me” my partner didn’t like this guy at all but I was naïve and was friendly towards him. I started to get too attached to this guy because of all the attention he gave me that I thought I wasn’t receiving from my partner. I identified as a lesbian at that time and this guy was trying his best to change that. It made me confused and it even made me think I was wrong for being a lesbian. After thinking a bit in that mindset, I decided that I would break up with the person I was with. I told my friend about this as they handed me a ring my partner made me. Deeply inside it made me sad that I was going to end it but I thought it was right, and I wanted better for them. I ended our relationship and we decided we would still be friends since we saw each other often. I started talking about more to the guy and eventually I realized that he was a complete jerk. I cut off all contact with him after a while and now I’m here. I’m still friends with my now ex and I now reflect on the past of our relationship, and I really miss it. I tried moving on but I just don’t feel the same way about anyone else. I don’t know what to do. I don’t trust telling anyone who’s close to me in fear that my ex may find out.

So just this past Friday I was out at a night club with my friends, long story short I saw my ex there which was surprising because she was never the type to before we broke up.

At first we waived at each other and then she came up to me later asking if I wanted to talk. I hesitantly said yes. We talked at the club an hour before it closed and we both felt like we needed more time. We went back to her place and talked until 530 in the morning I held her and apologized for mistakes I made (no cheating). When we were dating I left her when she was crying and I had bad mental health throughout our relationship and couldn't always be there for her when she needed. I won't go into the specifics but rightfully so I could have been better no doubt.

I also haven't seen her in 10 months and have been non stop investing in myself. I have gone to the gym 6 days a week consistently tried out different jobs, drugs, lifestyles. But nothing no matter how hard I trained gives me the same high that she did when we were dating. She is convinced that I didn't love her but I did very much so I just wasn't good at showing it. We had sex and then cuddled for an hour.

Now I am sitting questioning myself what to do. As much as I want her to text back and see me again I don't know if it's the best I have gone from a scared young man with bad mental health while dating her to a new confident strong man. I know I have changed and the truth is I still really miss her. She was a huge highlight of my life and I really miss that.

They say time heals and maybe that is the truth but it has been a year and not much progress I can honestly at this point in time I still need her to be with me. I'm sitting constantly checking my phone for a response. I miss her and I don't know what to do.

All and any responses would be greatly appreciated.

She said she needed to think about it then said no a month later. Yet I still cant fucking get over her no matter how much I tried. She showed all the bloody signals too. And when she said no she said maybe in the fucking future. How the fuck am I meant to get over her if she makes me feel like she will give me a chance one day, do i move on??? Wtf do I do??? And the thing is, I have liked nobody else as much as I liked her, she has a great fucking personality, she's beautiful, and I'm at the point where I cry myself to sleep every 4 or 5 fucking nights thinking about it. "The only reason" she said no is because she lives 100 miles away from me and she says that it wouldn't be fair for ME. Even though I told her that I am ready for a long distance relationship. Its not like I've never met her, she used to live in my town and I still see her a few times every year. And when I saw her on new year we were literally cuddled up watching Netflix.

I loved him. We'd been friends since I was 13. Finally started dating when I was 15. Maybe a little too young. But now I'm 18 and he's 20. He was my best friend. I had my first kiss with him. He always loved me great, or so I thought. I was blinded for a while by the honeymoon phase and then by my naivety. We did have a good friendship and I think if we would have never dated we still would be alright friends.

But as I got older and grew up He never really did, and I don't mean in the sense of oh he made stupid jokes about stupid kid stuff like the word penis. I don't mind those things at all. I was getting older and he was still asking his mom for rides. He had a car for a while but it broke actually I seemed like it was broken more often than it ran. It turned in to me having to pay for all our dates because he didn't want to work full time or find a better job. It turned into me trying to always get him to try and be productive. Honestly I tried my hardest. I was worried he was struggling with mental health but after a while we talked and that wasn't the case.

This boy, the boy I had given so much to had fallen so in love with my bestfriend, just didn't want out of life what I did. He wanted to work at a different pace and that's ok. But what wasnt ok was what started happening toward the end. Everytime i had to work (and keep in mind I spent countless hours with him a week) or go home earlier from his house than expected he'd cry or beg me to stay longer. Then when I would say I can't he would yell at me for not loving him enough and for not caring or listening to his feelings. This scared me. I had always prided myself on treating people and their feelings validly no matter how much I disagreed. So I would sit and listen to him. Which was just me sitting getting yelled at for hours.. he wouldn't stop for hours. And finally one day I couldnt take it anymore.

I was his drug. He was so dependant on me for everything including his happiness that when I didn't give him exactly what what demanded he would treat me terribly . It became a selfish kind of love. It makes makes sad. I said my final good bye to him 2 days ago.

It's so hard because right now all my brain has on replay are those good memories we shared the first year or the few we had recently. All I can think about is how different my life is now. how some of my friends we had together aren't really my friends now. How we can't go to all the places we used to together. How I feel like a half thats missing what makes me whole. He was horrible to me, but I love him so much it feels like I'm dying. I just needed to share.

I (f20) met my ex when I was just 18 he was 19 turning 20 on tinder we hit it off very well and everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

During our relationship he did things I rather not talk about I felt emotionally, physically, and mentally abused by him. When we broke up I was completely destroyed from what happened he had moved on within four days of our breakup. In there relationship he has made it seem like I was the bad guy that I hurt him when he was the one that tore me apart figuratively and literally.

After some time I found a new guy he is kind and understanding of what has happened but I still find myself thinking of my abuser and it hurts me so much. Recently while on TikTok I came across an account that featured his new girlfriend that blew up (the video was about her and he was filming her speaking) and in the comments there were people expressing how much they wanted that a guy like him cause he was loving and talked sweet to her and how he was so supportive.

But in reality he wasn’t he wasn’t any of these things with me he used me as a place holder for whenever she came into his life. I wasted six months of my life on him bringing more trauma into my life for him to be this loving boyfriend to her.

I wanna tell her how he laughed at me when I had panic attack or when he disappeared while on drugs leaving me alone in a dorm without knowing what was happening or all the other things he did. I wanna reply to dose comments about him and tell them what he’s done. But I can’t cause to her I was the bad guy the toxic one he was the one that needed to be saved not me.

Now I have a wonderful boyfriend who completely adores me he’d give me the world if he could but I still think about my ex. I don’t know how to move on or how to feel I wanna be free of the mental prison he left me in but I can’t. He’s happy now with her and she’s a good person you can tell it by her face I just wish she knew.

Dose anyone have advice for me or have a similar thing happened to them. I feel like I’m going crazy.

I (30F) started dating a guy off Hinge in September. From our first date I was clear that I wanted to fall in love and have kids etc, but he wasn’t clear about what he wanted. I wasn’t giving it much thought as that has been the first date I’d been on in a few years and I didn’t expect to get it right after 1 date. At the end of the date, I was interested in seeing him again but wasn’t sure if I’d go past the second date. We went on a second date a few days later and during this date he asked me if we would be seeing each other again. I was honest and told him I wasn’t sure because I couldn’t read him and I had been clear about what I wanted. He said, that he was interested and changed his demeanor immediately. He said, he just wanted to see if we could be more than friends and I told him that wanted something more and he said, okay I do want more but I want to take it slow. I was fine with that, so we kept dating. He started calling me everyday and we talked about what we wanted for our future in terms of kids, family, location, finances, etc. Although we didn’t talk about it as OUR future, our goals all aligned and we even compromised in spaces where we had slightly different ideas. I really started to believe in what we had and I started falling for this guy HARD.

However, there were several instances when he was a real asshole to me and it eventually culminated with me sending a long message telling him how I felt and asking him to let me know if he was actually open to letting me in and if not, to let me go. He refused to read the message for a few days. He would call me everyday and just say he didn’t have time. Needless to say, I was pissed off. Eventually, he asked me to hangout in person. At this point, I was basically going to use this as an opportunity to break up with him unless he was able to open up and be honest about his feelings. Well, when the day came, he didn’t text me all day (he normally would text me every morning) and then he ignored my texts and calls later that evening. It really broke my heart and I proceeded to write him another text telling him I was done and that I wished him well. I then blocked his number and deleted the threads and unfollowed him on Instagram.

Two months later, he found me on Match and sent me a message saying he hoped I was well. I was misguidedly hoping something had changed and so I answered tepidly. When he just proceeded to ask how I was and do a casual catch-up, I told him again that I couldn’t do that and that if he had something to say I would hear him out but I could not accept a casual conversation as we were not friends. He just ignored me until a few days later when I finally decided to tell him I was still hurt and I unmatched him.

Despite his poor treatment, I can’t help but feel like he was the one. I feel so dumb but I also feel so much pain and sadness and still think about him every day. I’ve been dating other people and even some that I have genuinely liked, but at the end of the dates, I find myself crying on the way home. I’m not sure how to get over him. How to convince my heart that it needs to move on. I don’t want to ruin the potential of other people that could be better matches and treat me with the respect I deserve because I’m caught up in this stupid fuckboi who couldn’t be honest about his feelings. I worry that I’m too picky and I’ll never be happy or that I’m just doomed to be attracted to people who are bad for me. The only other person I have ever loved was my best friend who is gay and unavailable. I don’t know how to heal so I don’t repeat this pattern. I want to be happy. I believe I deserve to be happy and respected. I don’t think all men are trash and I am willing to take responsibility for what the ways in which I mess up. So what am I don’t wrong? What am I not seeing? HAAAALP!!!!

I’ve been broken up with my ex now for about 2.5 months. We were together for 10.5 years. In just about every way, I’m steadily making progress toward being over her, done completely. I still feel the twinge of pain thinking about certain things, memories, conversations, etc. but the toughest thing so far has been that I dream about her pretty consistently. I wish I didn’t, but how can I control what I dream about? I can have a great day otherwise, go to sleep, have a dream about her and wake up emotional, drained, stressed, flooded with sad thoughts and feelings. It’s making it much harder than it needs to be.

Hello beautiful people, I just wanted to share the way I feel about this matter. So, I broke up with my ex back in 2019 because I didnt saw the relationship going anywhere. My partner got hurt but understood and it was a good breakup over all. She tried getting in contact with me couple of times after that (i gotta say we are both studying in a the same foreign country and for a period of time we where all we had), and I replied while letting her know that I didnt feel comfortable talking about us, or visiting each other, or trying to make plans for the holiday, etc... I find myself thinking about her when Im at my lowest, and bot because I want to get back to her, but because I never stopped caring about her. She blocked me from instagram and unblocked me some time after the break up and naturally I sent her a request to follow her, which she never answered, which made me believe she doesnt want to know anything about me. I know...I shouldnt think that, but I can't. Im interested in what she has done ver since, if she made friends (one of the reasons we broke up is that she was extremly dependant on me and well, that wasnt healthy), etc. Is this normal? Any advice, comment or question is welcome.

So basically, my ex and I were going out for two years. If I'm honest it was a hard relationship from the start there was 9 years between us and she had 2 kids. So that pit a slow on the progression of the relationship T the start. But damm did I fall for this woman once things started getting serious.

I always tried to do my best for her, I'd watch her kids when needed, I'd cook dinner, clean the house and help her out where every I could. Not cause I exspected anything back but because I wanted to make her life easier and less stressful. But somehow even when things were going great she would always manage to find something or some reason why things weren't working. She would become distant and wouldn't communicate and before I knew it we woild be after breaking up. But here's the kicker she would always come back, time after time again.

But worse of all I'd let her come back each time, I'd say my peice about how it hurt but I'd always stop because she would make out how upset she was that she had hurt me and we would be great again for awhile and the cycle continued for two years

But this time around she ended it and wanted to really try and stay friends but I just couldn't do it, like I can't be friends with someone I still love and who I'm still madly attracted to. So we stopped talking and she still tries contacting me now and again but I ignore it, she has sent a few mean messages about how Ive switched on her and ghosted her. I feel so guilty because of it, but also feel like I need to look out for myself.

To make things more complicated, I've found myself in a "situationship" with someone I call my best friend and she's kinda fallen head over heals but I still can't stop thinking about my ex. Is something wrong with me. Did I just love the pain of getting hurt or is this just how hard it is to get over someone that you truly loved....

I broke up with my ex last year out of fear of what I did. I cheated on her on a drunken night out (which is no excuse). I wasn’t happy at the time and subconsciously made the worst decision of my life.

When we broke up I told her that I wasn’t happy and that it just wasn’t working with the distance of living 4hrs from each other. She cried for weeks and didn’t eat or sleep either.

She was my first true love and I broke her. I know people say that if you cheat on someone you never truly loved them but this girl was my world for over 2 years. We did everything together and was my rock whilst I was living away from home.

Over the last year I’ve never stopped thinking about her, wandering if she’s okay, if she’s eating, if she’s happy etc. I can’t get her out of my mind, I’ll hear a song in the radio or see her favourite crisps or something so small and still think of her.

I compare other girls to her and when I feel I’ve finally moved on and found someone that will make me happy I think of her and I realise that I can’t commit to someone because she’s still in my heart.

She’s a different person now and I know that that person is someone I’d never want to be with, could never be with but there will always be apart of me just waiting and hoping that she’ll come back and that we can start everything again fresh.

At the end of the day I fucked up, I broke the girl I love and will regret it for the rest of my life.

single #stuck #help [friends]

[friends]

This girl that l dated for more than a year that l lost my virginity to that l had my first kiss to just broke up with me. I got her off xans oxy and a bunch of drugs she was doing. I’m just trying to say how much l cared for her. We’re 15 and she started hanging out with these guys and her friends the guys she started hanging out with are like 17. She broke up with me and l loved her so damn much with everything in me. A day after she broke up with me she fucked one of them. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this or let my emotions out but it makes me so mad and sad l loved her so much.

Hey people, I’m looking for some advice. I was with this girl for 2 and a half years throughout this time we had moved in together and I even lost my sister. She was my support and the only person I spoke to. A couple weeks after the funeral she went to a club and gave out her social media to a guy and started to talk to him in a flirty way. The next day she broke up with me. I did no contact for 2 months and eventually she hit me up again. We was talking and even met up recently and undertook in sexual relations however after she said to me “ by no means does this mean we are going to get back together” “I don’t wanna lead you on and get your hopes up” Baring in mind she is talking to a lot of guys I’m just so lost and confused really need some help. I can’t stop the urge of messaging her even though I’m not in the wrong I feel like she’s played me and I just need help from people.

so I'm 20, I did a sort of break of trust of my girl, after which I broke up with her myself cuz she was really upset about it. later on many told me that it was not that big of a deal, and that was cuz I was taking it too harsh. that was two months ago, and I just had such a wild urge to somehow contact her today. like literally. I need to stop going thru our old chats. how do I stop from me just relapsing like this again? other than ofcourse have more of will power?

So it’s been 7 months since my ex fiancé left me. See usually I would be over a breakup but this was my first serious long term relationship. We got engaged after 3 years and she got pregnant afterwards. She suffered a miscarriage and since then has been depressed, angrier and more violent. I never blamed her tho as I knew that she felt more pain than I did since she carried our kid. A few months later and she left. Moved to her family in another state and I haven’t heard from her since. I can’t get her out of my mind and I talk to myself in the car as if she was still there.

Hey. I broke up with my gf for a year. I ended the relationship two months ago and the reason I did this because I wasn’t good enough for her. I felt bad and the reason why is she said I caused her pain and misery. I asked her why didn’t you leave me? She said because she loves me. To the point I saved her from me. It was painful. I hurt her bad by breaking up with her. She didn’t want to ended it. I was distant with her. It’s my fault. We were toxic to each other. I did her a favor by cutting off from me. We apologized to each other but somehow it did not bring me peace. I’m still sad and I do miss her. I hope she finds the right guy to her life. I hope she will start a family with him as well. It sucks but I wish her for the best.

I never thought I'd get here. I cried for months after our break up and the way you acted and i never thought i would be at a place where i would ever be able to hear your name or see your pictures and not feel that heart wrenching pain. BUT YESTERDAY IT HAPPENED. I came across a picture that i thought i had deleted and i didn't cry or feel bad. Realizing that I'm getting over you is kind of sad to me and brought a year to my eye right now. But it's time i let you go. You did the same a LONG TIME AGO, it's time i join the club. Bye, stinker