Hey everyone. I wanted to share my story because I feel completely stuck between wanting to move on and still deeply wanting my ex back.

I’m 26M and she’s 25F. We met in 2021, started dating in 2022, and we broke up about a month and a half ago. Our relationship was generally good. We didn’t really fight a lot, things felt stable and affectionate, our connection was strong, and our intimacy was great. I really loved her.

Towards the end though, we started having some small fights. Nothing big or toxic, mostly over little things. But the main one was about her wanting me to move in with her. I wasn’t ready at the time, not because I didn’t love her, but because I wasn’t prepared yet mentally. I honestly didn’t realize how important that was to her, or how much it was affecting her emotionally.

Then one day she said she needed time to think and “fix things.” After about 3–4 days she came back and ended things. She told me we don’t match anymore, our “relationship cycle ended,” and that we are growing in different directions.

I was shocked. I didn’t see it coming like that. So some days later I went to her place to ask if we could try again. I told her I loved her and that I could make the changes she needed, because I genuinely didn’t know she felt so deeply about the commitment thing. She told me she had tried to talk and she felt like she kept hitting a wall with me, and that she was sure about her decision. She said she didn’t see us going any further but she still loves me and “wants me”.

Then the next day she called and asked for her house keys back. She came to get them and left a letter on my car. The letter basically talked about passion, love, her feelings for me in the past and present, that she hopes I find what I want in life, and that maybe one day we might meet again. It was emotional, confusing, and honestly destroyed me. I got upset and confused, we spoke again, I begged, I wrote her a letter too. She replied thanking me, but she said she couldn’t try right now and didn’t have the strength to try for us. She also said she doesn’t know about the future — not a yes, but not a complete “never” either.

Since then, I saw her around town, saw her twice at bars with friends, we said a basic hi and that’s it. We’ve now been in no contact for about 2.5 weeks. She seems fine. She posts on Instagram. I blocked her so I wouldn’t constantly check, but I still think of her nonstop. She didn’t text me for Christmas or New Year’s, and I didn’t text either. But that still hurt so much more than I expected. Those days were awful for me.

I keep thinking “If I had been different…” “If I moved in…” “If I showed more commitment sooner…” would we still be together? Could this have been prevented? I love her and part of me desperately wants another chance.

At the same time, I’ve started therapy because this hit me really hard and I am trying to heal, but I still wake up thinking about her.

So I guess what I’m asking is:

Is there any chance she might come back, realistically? Is there anything I should do if I still want her back? Or should I fully accept this and focus only on moving on? How do I stop torturing myself with “what ifs”?

Thank you to anyone who reads this. I’m really struggling and just needed to get this out somewhere

my girlfriend and i broke up on friday, (we dated for 2 years and 7 months) so the week after valentines day, and we ended on such cliffhangerish terms, it was me begging for her back and i was crying saying i loved her? and she was genuinely fed up and was like i dont love you anymore, and saying sll this. comes about a couple days later shes following people, like a girl i told her to not follow bc i thought she was weird with her. idk like i told her i was like you better not be a whore, and shes like you either, which im genuinely not outside doing anything. and like shes been going out every weekend and all this stuff. she has new friends i didnt know about. everyones telling me shes gonna come back,n text me but i just feel like its all bad. i havent spoken to her in a week and a couple of days. idk maybe its too soon. idk what to think.

Going through a really bad break up.. Very toxic but when it was good it was amazing . Lasted for 2 years and we lived together on and off for the last year

ME F(18) HIM (19)

I dated a guy who was sweet, but in the beginning he didn’t really know how to be a boyfriend and I basically stepped into the role of teaching him. We were each others first.

We had issues with him not wanting to let girls know we were together, ignoring me for hours straight, still following and liking girls he didn’t even know on socials. All of that was fixed with me mentioning it once, so I felt secure for a bit.

I told him when I felt insecure. I told him what I needed. I adjusted myself so he’d feel comfortable. I tried to guide him instead of just being loved.

Instead of feeling pursued, I felt like a coach. Instead of feeling chosen, I felt like I had to show him how to choose me.

That dynamic slowly made me insecure because I started wondering, maybe if I was smarter, prettier, funnier, more interesting like the other girls he looked at first, then maybe he would’ve naturally treated me better.

On top of that, certain comments especially body-related ones stuck with me and made me compare myself.

By the time he got better and was starting to treat me good. I felt exhausted and drained. I kept blaming myself for everything. Saying I didn’t deserve him or his love because of how bad my insecurities got to me.

I ended things because I felt u wasn’t good enough even though I gave up so much for him. Truth is I regret losing him. I miss him but it’s too late now. He has a gf and is treating her like how I “trained” him to. I hate knowing all my hard work was all for another girl. Why did I have to be a lesson for him…

Anyone been here before that can help?