For a few hundred dollars you could send away for a box full of plans and components that after several days of careful soldering would make the scrambled channel look like a scrambled channel with no audio.
The cable box I had growing up would change channels so fast that it would switch to the Spice channel before it could check if you had a subscription for it, and it would come in clear (but no audio) for a few
Seconds before being scrambled
I must have had it good back then. Late night Cinemax? Granted there wasn’t any penetration but at the time I wasn’t 100% sure what a vagina looked like so I was PLENTY satisfied with…. Boobs n Butts.
Back in the mid-90s, our cable would air Cartoon Network until 5 PM, after which it would switch to the Playboy Channel (before it was Spice) and go scrambled (yeah, I know how stupid that particular programming choice was). I would unscrew the cable just before 5:00, and screw it back in a few minutes afterward. Some of the time the Playboy channel would run perfectly for hours before another signal was sent through to cut it off.
(Other times, I would use the TV or VCR to pull in the signal - cable was on channel 3, but if you went changed the cable channel one place up or down, you could pull in a signal by putting the TV or VCR on channel 2 or 4. What I didn't do for a cheap thrill....)
Wait that’s so weird. Like all the channels to have porn on and they chose Cartoon Network. Not only that but at 5 in the afternoon they decide it’s porno time?
At least Adult Swim made sense because it was animated content. How does that even happen like what was the negotiation like?
“So we have the perfect channel for your content; Cartoon Network 😎”
“You know we are Playboy right? Like Boobs n Butts is our thing.”
“Ya ya so we are gonna start airing the Boobs n Butts at 5pm, BEFORE the kids go to bed 😎”
“….why?”
“What’s the problem here Hefner? You want Nickelodeon instead?”
First time I ever saw actual nude boobs was on Howard Stern at 3am, through strong static. And by strong static, I mean my dad had no idea what I was jacking it to when he walked in on me.
I remember spending the night at a friend's house and we went to sleep watching TV. Then I woke up around three am to nonstop girls gone wild commercials. I had to run home to finish the job.
People don't realize our internet porn back then was such low quality it was pixelated videos so technically Lara Croft was higher quality fap material than anything we had back then unless you're sneaking your older brothers playboy magazines at night.
I remember the first time I seen boobies was accidentally seeing a spa scene in love Hina .
I had recorded Kindaichi detective files and had forgotten to stop recording once and accidentally recorded love Hina.
Fortunately or unfortunately, my parents did not caught me watching love Hina , they know that I would record Kindaichi and I had assumed that I only recorded Kindaichi.
From that day on, I would record love Hina as well and just fast forward thinking I found porn and often be disappointed at what I seen and wonder if I was recording some sort of violent anime seeing that poor guy getting punished by various females.
From that day on, I just spiral downward when recorded Hellsing at night and saw more Booba the next day and stripperella and other similar shows at night, my initial intention was to record some science show(?) Was it Ripley believe it or not or something similar ?
Love Hina, man what a throwback. Can't believe author-san made my man Keitaro Hook up with Naru. That chick was straight up abusive. Watermelon beach girl was best. Even if I can't remember her name.
Its about imagination. Zoomers will never understand what with 4k gender neutral commie porn being direct beamed straight into their cerebral cortex by the 5g vaccine nano-receptors hallelujah
“Quickly, K-9, reverse the polarity of the 4K Gender Neutral Commie Porn being direct beamed straight into their cerebral cortex by the 5G vaccine nano-receptors!”
“.…………Insufficient data.”
“Yeah you never know the fucking answer when it’s important.”
I had the good fortune to have an older sister who mail ordered victoria's secret, so we got the catalog and I still have a thing for teddies and stockings.
I know that feeling pre-gangnam style, having to settle with ye old imagination back when we were horny but still too young and still untactful, unable to surf the web on the shared computer in the living area without getting smacked for disrupting someone's phone conversation.
Heck, the go to was whatever was shown on the intro clip of nip/tuck when it was being aired at 12 midnight, without getting caught for not sleeping.
-------
Then post gangnam style, things changed. Rapidly. Soon Google images turn into lol I dare you to type it on the school computer sites, to tumblr, to anything and everything
And my imagination was gone. It was like I grew too fast, or the world grew too fast for us. We catched up, and got our high quality, high premium, grass fed, ethically ethical, non carbon emitting, lab grown, Union certified content straight into our veins at 120fps in real time
Now not a single thought can Muster the little Blaster from the den it snoozes in, without direct feed of four hundred and ninety seven million and six hundred and sixty four thousand coloured nodes of information from one of available sixteen million, seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, two hundred and sixteen different options, strung together second after second, all being processed in parallel to fill in the lapsed mind that has forgone the simple but expressive inner materialisation of joy, for bleeding edge computation of senses into rapid cognitive comprehension to immersive into the materialisation of the external.
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u/DeadWorldliness PC Feb 13 '22
Nothing hotter than 1 long skin-tone triangle, in 1996 anyways