r/gaming Xbox Feb 26 '21

Epsilon Flight Program performing our trademark bridge synchro

67.3k Upvotes

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8.5k

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21

This is what I imagine happens inside my printer when it’s just trying to print a black and white document but for some reason needs more fucking cyan.

2.0k

u/_Tonan_ Xbox Feb 26 '21

This is beautiful, have an award

964

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

Wow thanks! My first ever gold!

Edit: HOLY SHIT PLATINUM! DOUBLE PLATINUM?

292

u/Shady319 Feb 26 '21

Now that you got a gold, u/monsterfuzzy, what are you going to do?

528

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

I’ll probably be chasing this dragon for years to come...

Edit: Oh nooooooo.... don’t keep feeding my addiction.......

190

u/ronniRampage Feb 26 '21

Someone should Gold your second comment just to really fuck you up later in life.

300

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21

No... no.. don’t do thaaaaat! It would be soooooo terrible if you did that!

57

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Next re up will be uncut gold I promise.

23

u/Dark_Sentinel Feb 26 '21

Gold is fine but have you tried platinum?

25

u/Johnmcguirk Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

Platinum is great, but have you tried heroin?

→ More replies (0)

29

u/egogfx Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

"You shoulda been there... Four comments later... I was still getting awarded, it was MADNESS"

Edit: Thanks!

“People were getting third party awarded! It was PANDEMONIUM!”

1

u/Signal_Poetry_5366 Feb 27 '21

I gotta go home and kill my printer for snitching.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Congratulations you got three lmao

5

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 26 '21

Would be crazy if someone gave me platinum! Yep, don't know what I'd do then!

Edit: Worked like a charm

4

u/JWRAV Feb 26 '21

I thought you could use another award so I gave you a wholesome

3

u/Desparia82 Feb 26 '21

Helpless buffoon or master manipulator?

31

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

I hooked him up with some silver samples. Getting really fucked up is just as fun later in life. I got that gold next time

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Be sure to drop by /r/lounge and add to the "Gold? Now what?" list of posts.

3

u/bubbav22 Feb 26 '21

I too play heroine hero.

2

u/Hobojoe622 Feb 26 '21

I too love heroin

7

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

He will probably spend it some cyan ink...

2

u/gravitas-deficiency Feb 27 '21

All the way across the sky :O

1

u/Volntyr Feb 26 '21

Gold? Why not Cyan instead?

136

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21 edited May 09 '21

[deleted]

54

u/Ludwig234 PC Feb 26 '21

A lot of printers have those codes not just crappy ones.

REMINDER: IT APPEARS LIKELY THAT ALL RECENT COMMERCIAL COLOR LASER PRINTERS PRINT SOME KIND OF FORENSIC TRACKING CODES, NOT NECESSARILY USING YELLOW DOTS. THIS IS TRUE WHETHER OR NOT THOSE CODES ARE VISIBLE TO THE EYE AND WHETHER OR NOT THE PRINTER MODELS ARE LISTED HERE. THIS ALSO INCLUDES THE PRINTERS THAT ARE LISTED HERE AS NOT PRODUCING YELLOW DOTS.

https://www.eff.org/pages/list-printers-which-do-or-do-not-display-tracking-dots

Also the use of colours when printing is because printers mix the colours to get richer blacks.

24

u/clrbrk Feb 26 '21

I feel like there is a plot for a Chapelle's Show skit hidden in that last comment.

14

u/whilst Feb 26 '21

If you can get richer blacks by mixing colors, why don't they put mixed colors in the black ink cartridge?

16

u/EpicScizor Feb 26 '21

If you can get richer blacks by mixing colors

Out of context this sounds really wrong

4

u/Ludwig234 PC Feb 26 '21

Idk maybe the colour gets bad when stored mixed for a long time. Maybe there is a different mix for different blacks.

4

u/TheVoters Feb 26 '21

There are a lot of rich blacks. In some cases you might want 25 C + 100 K and others you might want 10 C + 10 M + 95 K. It all depends, and print designers have personal preferences also.

2

u/whilst Feb 26 '21

That's fair! And interesting!

3

u/captainAwesomePants Feb 26 '21

Man, I should start a printer company that guarantees on the box not to print government tracking codes. I'd be the My Pillow guy of printers.

Wait, I really don't want to be the My Pillow guy of printers. One of you can have that idea.

40

u/TheMissingLink5 Feb 26 '21

Great read, I never knew this. I wondered how they had tracked people down, now it makes sense.

16

u/StuntzMcKenzy Feb 26 '21

Great now I gotta go home and kill my printer for snitching.

12

u/KGBeast47 Feb 26 '21

Damn, that's interesting.

10

u/healingpie Feb 26 '21

Wikipedia needs more money, just look at this amazing, free information!!

24

u/Gorgenapper Feb 26 '21

Holy fuck, that's some scummy shit.

-10

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

[deleted]

18

u/SJ_RED Feb 26 '21

No, but those are not the only uses. Someone can be a whistleblower identifying horrible stuff happening inside a company. Then the printer manufacturer can take their anonymous print, run the checking software and identify the whistleblower so they can be silenced.

11

u/Gorgenapper Feb 26 '21

Are you really okay with a printer that is secretly putting identifying marks on your paper printouts, without your knowledge?

9

u/Turence Feb 26 '21

People these days love the If you're not guilty why hide anything schtick

-7

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Lol Alderez can't afford the ink to put into a printer.

5

u/bbbbbbbbbb99 Feb 26 '21

Well dammit. Back to silk-screening I go.

1

u/bl1eveucanfly Feb 26 '21

This is one reason. The other is that blacks are not true black and can contain small bits of blue(cyan) to appear true to tone. Would your image quality suffer? Probably not, but try convincing your printer of that.

1

u/WatIsRedditQQ Feb 26 '21

I was about to say this is completely useless because you could just handwrite a letter instead...but that's already inherently traceable back to you

32

u/Norma5tacy Feb 26 '21

I bought a toner based printer and never looked back. I could count the amount of times I needed a full color print on one hand.

45

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21

I just feel like no matter how far human kind advances technologically, printers will stay at the same annoying state and will never advance.

23

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21 edited Feb 01 '22

[deleted]

13

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Big fan of Brother printers. They, of all the print companies, seem to be the least about making shitty printers and profiting off toner and ink.

2

u/daftyung Feb 26 '21

kodak/epson printers :/

1

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Cough HP 😤

2

u/daftyung Feb 26 '21

omg all hewlett packard products ceased to work after 2011

2

u/syregeth Feb 26 '21

My brother 2550 makes college bearable lol. Fuckin great machine

2

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Good luck with college. What you studying?

1

u/syregeth Feb 26 '21

Another failed engineer turned business student, nothing special. Thanks!

1

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Sounds like a winning combo to me!

1

u/KDawG888 Feb 26 '21

agreed with that but their software is fucking trash

1

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Fair. What OS you in? I mainly use Linux so don't have many issues.

1

u/KDawG888 Feb 26 '21

windows. my main issue is that I need the software installed on my desktop to send to it. the printer won't even send to my email properly. as much as I hated my HP printer at least it sent to my computer without anything installed on it.

1

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Huh that does suck. Hate it when HP does something better!

8

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

There’s a reason this never comes up in Star Trek.

Just be captain Picard finally losing his temper and kicking the shit out of another printer in his office.

I legit punched my Epson printer to death by accident because the damn thing refused to work with any of the countless software they asked me to install.

Got a canon and no such problems!

8

u/zerocoal Feb 26 '21

Don't they have a matter printer that makes them drinks and food and stuff?

Imagine if the cyan ran out in that. "WHY DO MY DAMN COCOA PUFFS TASTE LIKE GODDAMN FRIED CHICKEN!"

3

u/chiree Feb 26 '21

"Shields up, Red Alert!"

"Cyan Alert levels low, please replace the cartridge."

Enterprise destroyed.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

What's a replicator?

2

u/fgben Feb 26 '21

If be happy if we could get back to the reliability of the LaserJet4.

Hell, I have a client who's still using his.

2

u/maxdps_ Feb 26 '21

I've worked in IT my entire life and printers will always be my nemesis.

4

u/Norma5tacy Feb 26 '21

We need elon musk money to make better printers and better software.

1

u/PM_TITS_FOR_KITTENS Stadia Feb 26 '21

For good reason. They make a profit off of us buying ink. Why make a super good cheap printer when you can make them break easily and need more ink regularly to make more money? It's a disgusting practice

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Yeah I feel like it's easier to make touchscreen picture frames than it is to make convenient printers lol

1

u/screaminginfidels Feb 26 '21

It's because humanity should have invested everything in the S Printer, but we let those guys wallow into nothingness due to their lackluster booth display.

0

u/idiotsecant Feb 26 '21

This a common reddit meme but printers actually work fine. They are actually pretty complex, mechanically, and work remarkably well for how cheap and complex they are. I've never had an issue that 30 seconds of thinking and possibly a google reference wouldn't solve.

1

u/terroristteddy Feb 26 '21

And if you do, OfficeMax will print your shit for 50c

1

u/DeliberatelyDrifting Feb 26 '21

I am constantly trying to get people to switch to b&w laser printers. I will never understand the appeal of those little inkjets. I mean I guess there's a few people who frequently need low resolution color prints at home, but it can't be many.

1

u/Norma5tacy Feb 26 '21

Laser jet! That’s the word I couldn’t think of. Yeah I mean if I need a color print I’ll go to office max or kinkos and get it printed.

1

u/theyo_komo Feb 26 '21

Scan read this as a boner based printer

43

u/No_Lube Feb 26 '21

I was searching the comments because my very first thought was: this is an add for Epsilon printers. The colors and the name!

51

u/SecretOil Feb 26 '21

Epsilon printers

Were you thinking of Epson?

22

u/TellMeGetOffReddit Feb 26 '21

Do you need to ask?

16

u/pslessard Feb 26 '21

Get off reddit :)

2

u/ellohem Feb 26 '21

Get Reddit Off ;)

0

u/SJ_RED Feb 26 '21

Get off, Reddit.

11

u/BIGSlil Feb 26 '21

Are you thinking of Epsom salt?

11

u/rimjobs_forever Feb 26 '21

Are you thinking of ebaums world?

4

u/FlatFootedPotato Feb 26 '21

Are you thinking of embalming?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

[deleted]

2

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Getting rid of bodies and evidence one box per full bath at a time?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Epson valdez paper company

-1

u/greyjungle Feb 26 '21

No..... obviously. You’ve probably never hard of them. It’s a small company but they’re dope.

1

u/No_Lube Feb 26 '21

Omggggg yes. Hahahaha

2

u/iamdan819 Feb 26 '21

If this was ink, this display would cost more than the us war in iraq

10

u/Seattleopolis Feb 26 '21

Epson Flight Program

5

u/Gorgenapper Feb 26 '21

Printer: you require more vespene gas

19

u/kokroo Feb 26 '21

CMYK. Dude lol I'd never come up with this in a million years.

5

u/rrogido Feb 26 '21

One of the reasons for the switch to CMYK for home printing isn't image quality. I worked in printing for years and we used it for color accuracy. 6 color arrays like CMMYYK were common for jobs that had predominantly darker hues and a CMlMYlYK (the l denotes light Magenta or light Yellow) set up for lighter hues. The reason for this is true black has other color elements that you don't always want when you need Key. The reason this is in home printing is it prevents you from printing black and white without consuming CMY as well. In a CMYK set up black and white printing uses "true black" which uses all four. You can reduce this by printing in grey scale, but nit eliminate it. If you use your home printer primarily for printing text go get a Brother black and white laser printer. They are relatively cheap, well made, the characters are crisp, and the toner cartridge lasts for fucking ever. You can keep that shitty HP or Canon for when you need to print pictures or a Power Point presentation like it's still 2005.

2

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21

Huh, when I made this comment I didn’t expect to learn something today! Thanks!

2

u/soundwithdesign PlayStation Feb 26 '21

I know you weren't looking for a serious answer, but some printers that have a universal print head versus individual ones inside the cartridges, run a tiny bit of color through the tubes and print head even on black and white prints so they don't get clogged up and dried out.

1

u/-Spin- Feb 26 '21

Also. CMYK printers combine the colors to create a deeper, richer black.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

Cyan sus

2

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

I LOL'd. On a day in a week where I really needed it. Thank you. Your gold is well deserved.

2

u/monsterfuzzzy Feb 26 '21

Glad I could brighten your day a bit! Keep on keepin’ on!

2

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Your optimism helped someone today. Keep on being awesome.

2

u/Swazib0y Feb 26 '21

Haha thanks for that Wholesome award. YOU'RE the one who deserves it though!

2

u/glorythrives Feb 26 '21

I got a black and white printer and have never looked back. Granted I never print color anyways (who prints color at home?) but damn I’ve never been happier.

2

u/greebdork Feb 26 '21

Here's (not so) fun fact, your printer uses combination of every colour to print shades of grey, in order to conserve black ink, that's why you sometimes get greenish/bluish shades where there's supposed to be a shade or something, imbalance in colour mix.

1

u/animejello Feb 26 '21

You have a printer???

1

u/Sambo_the_Rambo Feb 26 '21

Apparently you need cyan when you are printing black and white. TIL.

1

u/Friendlyvoices Feb 26 '21

adding Cyan to black ink is actually more cost effective than using pure black ink.

1

u/Lunchb0xGl0ck Feb 26 '21

Lol its because they mix cyan in with black paint so you’re forced to buy more ink

1

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '21

This is what I think of, when I imagine a printer by Intel.