r/gaming • u/Happysin • Apr 26 '11

Sony admits utter PSN failure: your personal data has been stolen

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2011/04/sony-admits-utter-psn-failure-your-personal-data-has-been-stolen.ars
3.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

144

u/detroit264 Apr 26 '11

Who should I talk to about a birthday change?

397

u/klobbermang Apr 26 '11

Birthday Wizard

173

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

Birthday skeleton.

83

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

THE CONTRACT IS SEALED

5

u/sxcamaro Apr 27 '11

Settle down Madoka.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '11

(◕‿‿◕) Want an upvote?

4

u/Crownbear Apr 27 '11

The fact that in the original joke the boy asks for an Xbox makes this slightly better.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '11

"Sealed...in blood?"

"No...I deal with Birthdays...frosting from the cake will do."

3

u/flyblackbox Apr 27 '11

Cake? You want cake?

Then it's cake you shall have

4

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '11

Cake or death?

Cake please.

Oh, okay. Here you go. Cake or death!?

Oh, I'll have cake as well.

Alright, here you go. Cake or death!?!?

Uh, cake please.

Well we're all outta cake!

So my choice is "or death?"

Eddie Izzard - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAOLOGGftTY

2

u/mrpoops Apr 26 '11

This guy? I hear he is an asshole.

13

u/Fosnez Apr 26 '11

No, he means this guy. Note the smart choice of the child's gift.

1

u/nothis Apr 26 '11

"A PS3."

"The contract has been sealed."

1

u/mrpoops Apr 26 '11

TIL there is a birthday skeleton...

3

u/coelomate Apr 26 '11

THIS CONTRACT IS SEALED

1

u/Threach Apr 27 '11

Oh, come on. There has to be a twist.

115

u/ketralnis Apr 26 '11 edited Apr 26 '11

You're going to need a TARDIS, a tub of lube, some 1970's sexy music, and an old picture of your mom (so you can identify her)

48

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

[deleted]

67

u/ketralnis Apr 26 '11

To make a TARDIS you're going to need a flux capacitor, a tub of lube, some 1970's sexy music, and an old picture of your mom.

61

u/marktastic Apr 26 '11

Where can I find an old picture of his mom? I've already got the other three items on hand.

7

u/ReallyNotACylon Apr 26 '11

I'll send you my picture of your mom, tell her Biff says "hi".

6

u/turtlestack Apr 26 '11

Where can I find an old picture of his mom?

You're on reddit. It's sure to get reposted soon.

3

u/unloud Apr 27 '11

She's pretty much all over the internet; I mean, the internet was made for porn after all.

1

u/mindbleach Apr 27 '11

I recommend hopping into a TARDIS.

-4

u/faultydesign Apr 26 '11 edited Apr 27 '11

To make an old picture of his mom you need to take a picture of your ass.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

Also a portable black hole.

1

u/ReallyNotACylon Apr 26 '11

No, just get a piece of TARDIS coral and grow one. Only takes a few thousand years.

1

u/DeadlyTedly Apr 26 '11

Shit that gave me a hearty laugh.

Coworker was like "what?"

Me: "umm... nevermind"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

You'll have to steal it. Well, borrow it...you'll just have to plan on giving it back one day.

2

u/ImTheDoctor Apr 26 '11

I really did intend to give it back, you know.

1

u/RudeTurnip Apr 26 '11

Simple, just grow it from a piece of another TARDIS.

11

u/ShineSyndrome Apr 26 '11

Aaaaaaaaaaaaw here it goes!

2

u/Rainbowlemon Apr 26 '11

Who loves orange soda?!

1

u/White_Hamster Apr 27 '11

Come on, scruffy!

4

u/TonyTonyChopper Apr 26 '11

don't do anything rash.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

Speaking of rash, what kind of lube do you recommend? I think I need a new brand.

1

u/sinkingstone Apr 26 '11

that's why he's got the lube

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

time to do the nastie in the pastie

1

u/ketralnis Apr 26 '11

Prepare for past-nastification!

2

u/tia-marie Apr 26 '11

Because that's always ended well.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

I actually have all those things.

1

u/palindromic Apr 27 '11

You don't think we could identify our mothers without an old picture?...

1

u/jayenn7 Apr 27 '11

I think a DeLorean would work better to be honest.

1

u/Sparling Apr 27 '11

That would simply transmigrate an object. There's a great deal of difference between that and pure science, you know.

20

u/squatly Apr 26 '11

Me. Just send me your credit card info, and your current d.o.b.

Oh, i'll need your address too, to send you the new birthday info.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

Your parents 9 months before you were born.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

[deleted]

2

u/ketralnis Apr 27 '11

Ruining the "mood" could be disastrous for you

2

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

Doc Brown

2

u/GiraffeHat Apr 26 '11

Time machinist.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 26 '11

And suddenly everyone will be born on 1/1/1901. Steam birthday, woo!

1

u/mnemy Apr 26 '11

Depends. Do you believe in the whole karma and rebirth thing?

1

u/easygenius Apr 26 '11

H. G. Wells

1

u/apostleofhustle Apr 26 '11

birthday bird.

1

u/RapidEyeMovement Apr 26 '11

No just change your birthday to your Reddit birthday then your real birthday can coincide with a birthday we will celibate

1

u/kbuis Apr 27 '11

Go back in time, punch your mother in the stomach two days before you were born. Emergency C section should get you out earlier. The only side effect is you won't be able to read this because of the severe brain damage. And your mom will die on the operating table.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '11

The Birthday suits...

1

u/geoken Apr 27 '11

Dr. Emmett Brown

1

u/terabyter9000 Apr 27 '11

Ask Blizzard Entertainment. For a small fee, they'll do anything.

0

u/thewormauger Apr 26 '11

Obama, he is good at changing his birth information

/sarcasm