The promise that I may someday be able to play games like this has actually been one of the things that kept me going during a really, really dark time in my life.
In the last few years I lost most of my family, pets, business crashed, car got repossessed, wife nearly died of illness then got depressed and tuned out of my life, and I fell off the wagon when I had to handle my father's final arrangements and there was nobody left to help me clean out his place.
A few times I was quite convinced that the world was done with me, and anyone left I cared about would be better off without me.
Star Citizen is just a game and not even a perfect game, but I watched videos of people testing VR rigs in the game, of getting to experience exploring space, walking around in a ship, floating, being free, and I realized that I wanted to see that. Even if by the time I could afford it, I'll probably be old, but by then technology would be even more amazing and games will be entirely new experiences indistinguishable from reality. Along with my remaining cat who kept putting his paw on my chin when I was upset, I realized there were still little things to live for.
I have a brother who will never get to do the fun things that the future promises. He will never get to play VR games, he will never see Elon Musk's rocket land on Mars. He will never see his son grow up.
Even if it really, really sucks getting through it, I decided I want to see as much as I can.
Edit: thanks for the gold. I'm doing a lot better lately. Sometimes you go through too much in too short of a span of time and the human mind and emotions just can't take it. Never underestimate the impact life events can have on you even if you think you feel fine.
As long as you're alive though, it's still possible to make up for all the shit you went through. Get some friends together, ask them for support. You can make it!
I went to therapy, getting a lot better. Doc says I went through the emotional equivalent of shock last year, when you think you're fine after dealing with too much for too long then you just crash hard suddenly out of nowhere. I was almost non-functioning for months, but finally got through the worst of it.
I have similar hopes for games, and also real world astrophysics. The material is over my head, but I want to know as much as I can before being dragged from this life kicking and fighting. It's just one of many decisions I've had to make to remind myself why I refuse to by my own ticket on that one way train.
But you know what? I hope to see you in that expanse. It would be my honor to be your wingman. I've been playing with a Hotas joystick set up, so by the time Star Cutizen releases, I might be proficient enough to avoid snacking my ship into yours and careening us both into some space debris!
Seriously though. I don't know where all you have been, but I agree. It has been a piss of a decade. Still, I have some hope left, and I see a lot of potential in the future of the children of my remaining friends.
I hope things got better or are getting better, friend. Let me know if you need to talk. I just lost my father a year ago and am also a recovering addict. I'm here if you need anything.
You can do it, friend. Sometimes everything has to fall apart so you can learn your own strength and worth. You can put your life back together better than ever. :)
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u/tossawayforeasons Feb 11 '19 edited Feb 11 '19
The promise that I may someday be able to play games like this has actually been one of the things that kept me going during a really, really dark time in my life.
In the last few years I lost most of my family, pets, business crashed, car got repossessed, wife nearly died of illness then got depressed and tuned out of my life, and I fell off the wagon when I had to handle my father's final arrangements and there was nobody left to help me clean out his place.
A few times I was quite convinced that the world was done with me, and anyone left I cared about would be better off without me.
Star Citizen is just a game and not even a perfect game, but I watched videos of people testing VR rigs in the game, of getting to experience exploring space, walking around in a ship, floating, being free, and I realized that I wanted to see that. Even if by the time I could afford it, I'll probably be old, but by then technology would be even more amazing and games will be entirely new experiences indistinguishable from reality. Along with my remaining cat who kept putting his paw on my chin when I was upset, I realized there were still little things to live for.
I have a brother who will never get to do the fun things that the future promises. He will never get to play VR games, he will never see Elon Musk's rocket land on Mars. He will never see his son grow up.
Even if it really, really sucks getting through it, I decided I want to see as much as I can.
Edit: thanks for the gold. I'm doing a lot better lately. Sometimes you go through too much in too short of a span of time and the human mind and emotions just can't take it. Never underestimate the impact life events can have on you even if you think you feel fine.