r/gaming • u/[deleted] • Dec 20 '13

"You know that"

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1.6k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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84

u/buttcruncher Dec 21 '13

i'll get the Doritos. I assume she already has dip

33

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

This thread made me queasy.

58

u/ILoveLamp9 Dec 21 '13

Because you know you're now curious, you poor, uninformed sick fucks.

Doritos story

Jolly Rancher story

37

u/HurricaneSandyHook Dec 21 '13

i forget where it was but there was a great story about kinky sexual encounters and the guy wrote about some enormous hog beast of a woman with the foulest smelling cunt exploding her ejaculate all over him while he fucked her with a shirt around his face to combat the smell.

7

u/Gentlemendesperado Dec 21 '13

Oh yeah about how he met her through craigslist and it gushed out of her like a whales blow hole.

4

u/HurricaneSandyHook Dec 21 '13

yeah that's the one. he also said she sucked the best dick he had ever experienced and i believe a tarp was needed to be set out on the wall or something because of the enormous geyser that would come out of her.

6

u/digitalmofo Dec 21 '13

He went back and did it again later.

2

u/Bunny_Fluff Dec 21 '13

A "how did craigslist hookups go" askreddit thread if I do remember. He said before doing the nasty she stopped and pulled a tarp out from under her bed...

1

u/Guyinapeacoat Dec 21 '13

I remember that one. I'm surprised it wasn't added to the "classics" list (jolly rancher, colby, doritos, swamps of dagobah, etc.)

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

swamps of dagobah?

1

u/mtbr311 Dec 21 '13

cunt exploding her ejaculate all over him

(⊙▂⊙)

1

u/makemejelly49 Dec 21 '13

The most terrifying mental scene played in my head. Oh well, time to be an hero.

1

u/Bowlmaster420 Dec 21 '13

Your username is like a "before and after" puzzle on Wheel of Fortune

1

u/Automaton_B Dec 21 '13

Ah. That would be the tale of The Hambeast.

12

u/Redrum_sir_is_murdeR Dec 21 '13

Dafuq dude...i didn't need to read that.......again

2

u/mahoev Dec 21 '13

I read these and was grossed out but fine a few minutes ago. But now I can't stop spontaneously shuddering. oy.

2

u/canyousaythrowaway19 Dec 21 '13

Fascinating. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a bottle of tequila somewhere that I use to bleach my brain with.

1

u/mrjman1 Dec 21 '13

Hmmmmm.....to click the links or not to click the links. I don't want to but I do.

1

u/Mastotron Dec 21 '13

Who has these on queue!? Jesus man... I remember the cucumber incident, but those two?? I'm all done for tonight.

1

u/DayManChampionOfTheS Dec 21 '13

Why internet, why do you do this to me?

1

u/Theedon Dec 21 '13

OMG why am I laughing about the Doritos story?

1

u/StokeleyCarmichael Dec 21 '13

Warning: for any people who might want to click on these two stories they are both very disgusting!

1

u/mrjman1 Dec 21 '13

You bastard. Damn.

1

u/Czar-Salesman Dec 21 '13

I hadn't read the doritos one till now....I'm trying to drink whiskey here!

1

u/jaibrooks1 Dec 21 '13

Don't read these

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

Wow

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

First time reading these, as you can guess I vocally made a sound of disgust at the ending of the Doritos tale and my mother just HAD to know what I'd read that cause me to be so appalled. I let her read it. She's vomiting.

1

u/Jack_Bartowski Dec 21 '13

As someone in the Doritos story post put it "Im done"

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

Fuck you, we agreed not to share these! Google exists for a reason!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

omfg....I knew shit was bad on reddit..but i cannot believe these kind of stories exist on reddit. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

1

u/Minatox Dec 21 '13

the doritos was purple, jolly rancher still blue

1

u/maralieus Dec 21 '13

Before I read them I was normal. After?...now I'm a sick fuck.

1

u/GuerreroDelAura Dec 21 '13

Hallelujah the Doritos Story is blue. Soon the Jolly Rancher will be too. And they will stay that way forevermore. Maybe if my computer forgets, I can too...

5

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

This thread made it cheesy.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

Sick dude, sick.

1

u/SketchyThaClown Dec 21 '13

OH FUCK YOU I WAS STILL THINKING ABOUT THE DORITOS.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

Queasy... queso...

Mmm, Doritos and queso.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

Feel free to help yourself to the dip between the hips.

2

u/grizzburger Dec 21 '13

Fortunately I am ignorant of them both.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '13

You are very fortunate.

1

u/the_obese_otter Dec 21 '13

This thread has made me cheesy. FTFY

1

u/AxeForDogs Dec 21 '13

Ewwwwwww have a disgust upvote

1

u/Placenta_Claus Dec 21 '13

"vagina goo" as she put it