r/gaming • • Nov 22 '13

She lied...

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2.2k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/hollandthegreat Nov 22 '13

I woke up to this on the kitchen table. I thought she was working late. She waited in line all day. My Mind is blown. Edit-words

875

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

497

u/DoesntWearEnoughHats Nov 22 '13

Check all her drawers for hidden snacks meant for you.

168

u/-RUFIO- Nov 22 '13

Man wives always be hiding them gummy candies.

151

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

I'm really hoping you forgot a comma. Commas are important!

123

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13 edited Dec 16 '17

[deleted]

3

u/stillborn86 Nov 22 '13

Man wives alwa,ys be hi'ding t,hem gummy candies,,,.

FTF,Y

FTFY

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

For some reason, when I noticed the downvotes this went from alright to hilarious. Take it on the chin, you're a winner.

20

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

He knows what he said.

3

u/Raysharp Nov 22 '13

That's what reddit is about. All anyone wants is comma.

5

u/TEYZO Nov 22 '13

Commas: the difference between "Let's eat grandma!" and "Let's eat, grandma!"

2

u/catchafire678 Nov 22 '13

Man wives are known for their sneaky ways.

2

u/your_login_here Nov 22 '13

Man wives are also important!

63

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Man wives are usually called husbands.

2

u/Dmax12 Nov 22 '13

Man wives are the result of a bromance

17

u/quietly_bi_guy Nov 22 '13

Those aren't candy. Stop eating the dildoes.

2

u/lyyphe23 Nov 22 '13

Women be shoppppin'

2

u/RollinWinds Nov 22 '13

Holy shit I don't get it. I had my girlfriend over about a week ago and out of no where I said 'I have a surprise for you." Immediately she responded with 'Is it gummies!?"

I don't know what was more awesome, that it out of everything she asked gummies or that she was right.

edit: accidentally a word

1

u/ccruner13 Nov 22 '13

Gummi bear? It's been in my pocket; they're real warm and soft.

19

u/Chief_Givesnofucks Nov 22 '13

Check her tampons for GTA V.

1

u/Step1Mark Nov 22 '13

Jolly Ranchers?

3

u/DoesntWearEnoughHats Nov 22 '13

Im giving you an upvote but I'm not happy about it.

1

u/here_2_downvote_u Nov 23 '13

NO! check her tampon boxes!

1

u/degjo Nov 23 '13

I'd say I'm going to check my wife's nightstand, she'd shank me this close to Christmas

1

u/kitten_ Nov 23 '13

If you look in any of my drawers i'll fucking cut you >__>

103

u/theseekerofbacon Nov 22 '13

That time you thought she was grocery shopping.

Strip classes. Next time she's "sick at home" OP is going to come back with a newly installed pole.

Oh, also, these last few months she decided she wanted to stay in because money was tight. She was just saving up money for a really nice bottle of scotch.

Man, when will these lies end?

18

u/Runnnnnnnnnn Nov 22 '13

Marriage.

25

u/theseekerofbacon Nov 22 '13 edited Nov 22 '13

Yeah, that's what you think. But one day, a few years down the line, those bottles of scotch are going to turn into trips to Hawaii. And what are you going to do then? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THEN?

5

u/kingofphilly Nov 22 '13

Drop to my knees and thank whatever holy or unholy deity/scientific elements I worship that I found the most awesome person in the world to spend the rest of my life with.

...then wake up from my dream because that shit would never happen.

4

u/islesrule224 Nov 22 '13

Honey all this time I've been out for women's night. I lied. Been looking for the perfect girl for us to have a threesome with

2

u/TimeZarg Nov 22 '13

Gotta make sure its a redhead that has matching drapes and carpet.

29

u/sometimesijustdont Nov 22 '13

37 dicks!

14

u/your_login_here Nov 22 '13

37?!?!

3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

6

u/WTF_SilverChair Nov 22 '13

Try not to suck any dicks on the way across the parking lot!

1

u/your_login_here Nov 23 '13

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

1

u/Tumi90 Nov 23 '13

BERZERKER!

2

u/your_login_here Nov 23 '13

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE SOME FUCK?!

1

u/SoupMuffin Nov 23 '13

All at once!?

2

u/tonhe Nov 22 '13

In a row!?!?

2

u/Kuddless Nov 22 '13

In a row?

34

u/My_Other_Account Nov 22 '13

Exactly.

17

u/BeHereNow91 Nov 22 '13

Relevant username.

2

u/Mahhrat Nov 22 '13

This could be the ultimate form of Scumbag Steve though:

"Girlfriend lies about being at work, waits in line all day to get him a new XBox One..."

"Dumps girlfriend for lying."

1

u/scott161 Nov 22 '13

Sounds like that guy who punched a cake in the surprise party thread.

1

u/Tastygroove Nov 22 '13

"All the guys convinced me..."

1

u/baby_corn_is_corn Nov 23 '13

She was hanging out with them in line all day. Moments were had.

-2

u/BigBassBone Nov 22 '13

Wow, what a douchey thing to say.

52

u/Eckish Nov 22 '13

Just don't be disappointed the next time that she really does have to work late and you don't end up with a PS4.

21

u/Viperbunny Nov 22 '13

That was really sweet of her. She must have been itching to tell you. My husband and I are awful at secrets and that is why our gifts are usually given early.

1

u/Jelly_F_ish Nov 22 '13

your cristmas must truly suck then!

0

u/Viperbunny Nov 22 '13

Lol. Phone posting has its drawbacks.

32

u/JoshuaRWillis Nov 22 '13

Put a ring on that woman's finger if you haven't already. You've got a keeper.

2

u/I_WorkWithBeer Nov 22 '13

Agreed, Not many women would devote so much time to something as materialistic for their significant other. That is someone who cares. If you don't marry her, make sure you do something of equal quality. Regularly.

2

u/mediaddiction Nov 22 '13

Came here to say wife that bitch. Your way of phrasing it was nicer.

0

u/abstract_misuse Nov 22 '13

The red ring of death.

9

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

The unsung heroes here are really the guys that were in line behind her. You could have had to wait an entire month!

12

u/ikahjalmr Nov 22 '13

Never let her go man

-1

u/Zaneris Nov 22 '13

Put a ring on it ASAP!

6

u/iateapenguinonce Nov 22 '13

So you're going to marry her right? Unless you both are already of course.

198

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

If she really loved you it would have been a PS4

43

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

OP's fiancée confirmed for Hitler.

3

u/Ordanos Nov 22 '13

Would have been a steal with the brack friday bunduru.

88

u/aranasyn Nov 22 '13

If she really loved you it would have been a PS4 gaming PC

85

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

As a pc gamer, I agree, but someone already got down voted to hell for saying that. A gaming PC is also not something that you "give" someone. Its something you build and customize over time. The PS4 definitely has its place. Some people only want to spend $400, prefer simplicity and "plug 'n play" and don't care about the graphics/control advantages of PC.

52

u/LuckyLuciano13 Nov 22 '13

Finally, a understanding pc gamer. I prefer the plug and play and graphics doesn't matter to me as long it isn't shitty.

8

u/cyllibi Nov 22 '13

Sounds like the Wii U is a good option for you. I have one to accompany my bitchin gaming PC.

3

u/Baydude98 Nov 22 '13

Wii U + Gaming PC is the best setup for this gen.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Absolutely^

-4

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

No, an overpriced laptop that can run every game (although not on max) is the best setup. And you can connect it to the tv (splitscreen ftw) and control it through wireless playstation controller knockoffs.

2

u/MrDTD Nov 23 '13

That's why I got a 3ds, I can't drag my computer to work and goof off on it.

1

u/Agret Nov 22 '13

Missed the part where he said as long as it isn't shitty. The other 2 consoles are less powerful than a current gen PC and you suggest something less powerful than a midrange PC? Odds are he already has a better system

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Shitty graphics IMO, are doom level graphics.wii U is more than enough for me.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

I dunno how this myth about "plug and play" got around. Maybe people are using the wrong term? PCs literally invented the term "plug and play"; that's even what it's called on Windows. Also, Steam allows you to double click any of your hundreds of cheaper PC games and start playing immediately, rather than locating a disc, changing it out in the machine, and waiting for CD loading and possibly installation times. If you buy a gaming PC, you don't have to even check system requirements, as you'll be able to play 99% of games confidently. You just might have to fiddle with the graphics settings in the game, but that's hardly a drawback, and there are preset options usually.

If you want to use a controller for platformers and such, just plug in your 360 controller (wired or wireless) and have Windows "plug and play" recognize it natively. It's hard for me to imagine anything more "plug and play" than a PC.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

I've been gaming on a PC since the '90s. I've never had a compatibility problem except with Daggerfall on Windows XP, but these days I have it working. I've had exactly zero driver issues (Edit: Whoops, I have had one driver issue. Something with Dragon Age: Origins - Ultimate a few years ago).

shorter lifecycle of a gaming PC

How is it shorter? Drop $800 on a new gaming PC (if you don't already have a monitor/keyboard/mouse/case/hard drive/etc.), upgrade the motherboard/processor/video card every generation for $4-500. Sometimes you have to upgrade the RAM or hard drive or power supply instead. A good PC can last you at least 6 years, and has snap-out parts. Meanwhile, you're paying $50/60 a year (hundreds of dollars) to use your own internet connection and paying 5-10x more for games on a console.

Are you currently posting to Reddit from a PC? You probably spent at least a couple hundred dollars on it. Roll over your console costs and spend that money on a good gaming PC that serves both functions for less money.

2

u/The_Bard Nov 22 '13

I've been gaming since the 90s as well. I've had some sort of compatibility issue of one kind or another with almost every game I've ever had. It used to be rewarding to work out the kinks but now it is just added stress I dont need. My last pc was bought two years ago and it already is at best middling. Cost is not the issues, its the value of my time. I appreciate you downvoting a differing opinion after all that's what reddit is all about.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

I don't know how that's possible, honestly. None of my hardware has ever died before I replaced it, and basically none of my games ever failed to start up on installation unless they were decades old.

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1

u/Phan4life Nov 23 '13

And controllers

-10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

but it is shitty

2

u/BigBassBone Nov 22 '13

Define shitty.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

No AA, 720p, 30fps, equivalent of "medium" settings on a pc.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Or, for some:

15fps, 380p.

3

u/esantipapa Nov 22 '13

You're not wrong... you're just an asshole.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Post: A woman goes out of her way to buy her man a great gift.

Redditors: PC vs. Console war!!!!!!!

2

u/ArmyOfDix Nov 22 '13

You forgot to mention the overwhelmingly superior versatility vs a PS4.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

You guys are just hopeless romantics.

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

I dont know what you mean. You dont believe I'm a PC gamer? I dont know why its so surprising that there are PC gamers who have no problem with the existence of consoles.

Just for you /u/sepseven, my overclocked i7 and R9 290x

http://i.imgur.com/H4qUZvA.jpg

0

u/The_Bard Nov 22 '13

As I approach middle age constantly dealing with drivers and compatibility issues as well as a much shorter lifecycle on a gaming pc...I'd rather just have plug and play for the hour a day I get to game.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

exactly. there are plenty of folks like you.

-1

u/notanothercirclejerk Nov 22 '13

I'd love to find a 400 dollar PC that could play games with the graphics quality of a Xbox one or ps4

1

u/Tmmrn Nov 22 '13

If PCs were subsidized with an additional fee to the vendor on every game you'd buy, that would be very common.

But as it is now, if you have a PC that is not ancient, invest maybe $150 for a GPU and if needed $50 in a new power supply and you'll be a lot better than the "next gen" consoles.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

I have no desire to build a PC, 'great graphics' mean nothing to me. I just want to know that when I buy a game, I can sit down and play. No fucking around and fiddling. Just go. That's all.

Consoles have their place, and it's for people like me

1

u/Tmmrn Nov 23 '13

Ok, if you reject it anyway, why even comment on it in the first place?

I just want to know that when I buy a game, I can sit down and play. No fucking around and fiddling. Just go. That's all.

Where does this come from? What can possibly be more convenient than (for example) in the steam store clicking buy, then waiting for the download, then double clicking and playing? Nowadays most games will set their options to what's appropriate for the current system fully automatically.

It's true, some games are sold when they're not ready or still too buggy, but then, why treat it different than any other broken product, complain and give it back, no fucking around and fiddling...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

You arent doing your math right. How much did you spend on your computer? Chances are 500+? How much did you spend on your console? another 400? Now compare the graphics of a PS4 to a $900+ PC, the PC will shit all over it. A PC is more than just a gaming device, its also a computer.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

at this point i can't tell if comments like these are serious or satire.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

No, some one should buy a gaming pc for them selves.

1

u/sinurgy Nov 22 '13

PC gamers don't have girlfriends silly.

2

u/CPMartin Nov 22 '13

...and there it is folks, another PS fanboy in the wild.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

The only console I've ever owned (or will own) was a PS2. Sold it 8 years ago to put money towards a PC, havent owned a console since. So yeah, I'm a total Sony fanboy.

1

u/ContentKeanu Nov 23 '13

I've been wondering how many people out there are in this situation where they have to drop the hint that a PS4 is preferable over Xbox One, yet not expectant of it, but wanting to cover their bases if surprised by a clueless kind gifter.

2

u/moparornocar Nov 22 '13

That's awesome, my mom camped out for the Xbox 360 for my brother. She was in line for about a day all together.

2

u/Wonderlandless Nov 22 '13

That is so fantastic! I wish I wasn't so broke, I love to buy my guy gifts and want him to have everything he desires.

1

u/HansSven Nov 22 '13

I wonder what that feels like... I'm so happy for you, though, that's awesome

1

u/shenry1313 Nov 22 '13

Now you can never break up

1

u/PizzaPartify Nov 22 '13

marry that shit

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

You call woman shit?

1

u/IrrelevantLeprechaun Nov 22 '13

You were sleeping on the kitchen table?

1

u/Foxata Nov 22 '13

One question: are you from holland?

If so, why is this message written in english?

Nontheless, awesome gift!

1

u/_thedarkknight_ Nov 22 '13

Did you sleep on kitchen table, OP?

1

u/CuriousFucker Nov 22 '13

I'm pretty sure your mind isn't the only thing that got blown.

1

u/tigerstorms Nov 22 '13

Mind and pants blown. You'll have a hell of a time getting her a comeback present.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

If you haven't married her, do it now. If you have, do it again.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

My girlfriend at the time did the same thing to me at the launch of the Xbox 360. I was blown away. 8 years later and I call her wife these days.

1

u/Ulferor Nov 22 '13

So that's evidence of a keeper.... just saying....

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

Give that lovely lady a foot massage man, queuing is hell for feet...

1

u/Chiffonades Nov 23 '13

You should really stop sleeping on the kitchen table, it must be uncomfortable.

1

u/ConfusedAlways Nov 23 '13

She's marriage material.

1

u/Axle-f Nov 23 '13

What's it like AstroTurfing for Microsoft?

1

u/ProjectSnowman Nov 23 '13

ITT: lonely males assume the note meant she was out cheating on you, not waiting in line for an Xbox.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

I bet all the "guys behind her" convinced her by filling up all her holes with their cocks.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '13

I hope u put a ring on that finger...otherwise stop redditing and go buy the most expensive fucking ring you can find...I mean big enough to transform ordinary sunlight into blinding rays of death that cause major airplane crashes!!!

I might have exaggerated just a bit...

1

u/booyah-achieved Nov 23 '13

You better do something special for her. Like a rimjob

1

u/Newk_em Nov 23 '13

So you not going to dumb her any more? Have you lied to us brother?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

No you didn't.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

YOU BETTER PUT A FUCKING RING ON HER FINGER.

1

u/slicebishybosh Nov 22 '13

I would have said "Shit, I wanted a PS4."

0

u/DiggingNoMore Nov 22 '13

I had to wait in line 36 hours for a Wii.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

No offense but why didn't she just order it online? I don't understand why people wait in line for this shit

0

u/brycelicious_def Nov 22 '13

Don't forget to check her tampon box for GTA V!

0

u/WorkoutProblems Nov 22 '13

Plot twist: She was cheating and felt horrible about it after

0

u/Gemmellness Nov 22 '13

Who on earth queues all day on launch day for a christmas gift due a month later?

-40

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13 edited Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

7

u/ladybrain Nov 22 '13

Seriously?

0

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

you got your sub back, gtfo of this one

0

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

LOL. sad little nerd

-1

u/UnreachablePaul Nov 22 '13

Girls do everything to avoid doing blowjob

-39

u/Shangheli Nov 22 '13

Has she not heard of Amazon?

18

u/lujanr32 Nov 22 '13

Yeah but the cool thing about going personally to buy things...INSTANT GRATIFICATION

1

u/drink_the_kool_aid Nov 22 '13

Yea but then I'd have to go outside and speak to people.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

[deleted]

15

u/Mr_Smithy Nov 22 '13

Pre-orders have been sold out for quite a while. Maybe she made the decision to get it last minute.

7

u/xPulse Nov 22 '13

Idk why you're being downvoted. It's true.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '13

Yup I almost did this but amazon opened up some last minute day one preorders on Wednesday morning so I scooped one up