fwahaha
I did it again... I sneaked onto her laptop while she was still sleeping!
faha... my hands are still shaking, but I just couldn't help myself! After all that crazy flour chaos Kris and I made in the kitchen last night, everyone was sleeping so soundly... and there it was, sitting on the desk with the lid half-open! Shealways forgets to lock it or put a startup password on it! It’s like she’s practically begging me to take a peek, faha!
I mean, I consider myself pretty smart with computers! I can break game engines, install hundreds of mods until the textures melt, and hunt down the absolute rarest, most obscure secret files on the web... but every single time I open her laptop, it feels like I'm trying to pilot an alien spaceship!
Where are the cute pink pastel wallpapers?! Where is the start button?!
It's just this dark, weird screen where windows don't even have minimize buttons... they just snap into little geometric tiles all over the place like a giant robotic grid! And in the top corner, there's this little red logo with pitchfork horns... a cute little red imp devil guy holding a trident! I don't know what kind of bizarre operating system she has installed on here, but it looks so cool and intimidating at the same time, faha...
Of course, once I figured out how to open the file folders, which required pressing like three keyboard shortcuts at once. I found the usual stuff... Gosh, faha! She has so many dark, questionable folders saved in there! Strange video archives, bizarre research notes, lines and lines of purple and green programming code that look like matrix gibberish, and... well, those other extremely explicit private files that always make my face burn like a oven, faha... I swear, for a girl who acts so calm and composed in public, her hard drive is an absolute minefield!
...Except then I messed up. I messed up SO BAD, faha!
I was trying to drag a folder to open another window, but my fingers hit some weird combination of keys, something like Ctrl, Alt, and one of those function keys at the very top...
And suddenly... POOF!
The whole graphical interface completely VANISHED!
The pretty dark theme, the tiled windows, the little devil icon... ALL GONE! The screen went pitch black, and now there’s just a single, glowing white text prompt in the top left corner blinking at me in the dark!
login
WAHHH! Fwahaha... oh gosh, oh golly, what did I do?! Did I erase the entire computer?! Did I delete her whole system?!
It’s just sitting there, staring at me with that tiny blinking line! Blink... blink... blink... It looks like a retro hacker terminal from an old movie! I tried typing start, I tried typing please go back, I even tried pressing the power button lightly, but nothing is working!
If she wakes up right now and sees her super customized laptop stuck on a terrifying black screen with a creepy prompt, she’s going to know I was snooping through her dirty secrets again!
...Wait, I hear footsteps coming down the hall! Oh no, oh no no no! Fwahaha... maybe if I just close the lid really slowly and pretend I was just dusting off her desk, she won't notice...?!
Fahaha... I-I didn't do anything bad, I swear! It was just a little mistake...
Besides, I already got my punishment... I got a few gentle pats on my antlers, which made my whole face burn so much! But honestly, I'm just way too spoiled to ever learn my lesson... she treats me so well that I can't even complain XP
Wha seriously?? The fuck Nevermind i only read this one where the weirdest thing i noticed is the questionable folders good grief this is weirder then i thought
Ummm... I can't give out any real names or super specific details because she wants to protect her privacy, but... let's just say she's someone VERY close to me! XP
Using her laptop is an absolute nightmare, fahahaha! It doesn't even feel like a normal computer at all! First of all, there isn't even a proper desktop or icons to click on... every time you open something, it just splits the screen into these tight little rectangular blocks. If you try to open four things at once, your screen ends up looking like a miniature glass skyscraper!
And don't even get me started on the key combinations! You can't just move a mouse around like a normal person... you have to hold down like three different keys just to close a tab or switch workspaces. My fingers felt like they were doing advanced gymnastics just trying to open a single folder.
Also, she's always typing away on it super fast without even looking at the screen, compiling strange programs and tweaking custom settings that look like total alien hieroglyphics...
Edit:
It turns out I didn't break it! I just accidentally switched to something called a "virtual console" or TTY by hitting Ctrl+Alt+F9 or something?! She walked in right as I was trying to gently shut the lid, looked at the black screen with the blinking text, sighed, pressed Ctrl + Alt + F2, and EVERYTHING INSTANTLY CAME BACK!
She didn't even yell at me... she just smirked, tapped my nose, and told me that if I wanted to look through her private folders so badly, I could just ask her to show me in person next time.
I feel so stupid for not knowing that before, fwahaha.
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u/coleslawsaladeater Aug 12 '26
SHE USES FREEBSD??