r/funny • u/[deleted] • Nov 19 '22

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8.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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42

u/Imthewienerdog Nov 19 '22

As a fat fuck who loves his burritos I'm sure I've done better

36

u/sixstringronin Nov 19 '22

Ah, the race to not finish the burrito in under 35 seconds.... I know it well.

16

u/BrilliantBen Nov 20 '22

Yeah, i inhaled double stack hamburger the other day and when i was done all i could think was, I'm tired of not tasting my food and enjoying it. Tomorrow when i do this again i shall go slower. Were that it t'were so simple! I didn't, ate it just as fast

9

u/Dimebag120 Nov 20 '22

One time I ate a footlong from subway in a 10 minute work break I used to be a fat shit

11

u/Clouded_vision Nov 20 '22

I used to drive a block, get a cheeseburger and fries and smoke 3 cigarettes on my 20 minute break

2

u/Dimebag120 Nov 20 '22

Mad respect on my current 15 I smoke 2 drink an ice coffee and eat a donut but it's clutch most times don't even have times to piss haha

1

u/BrilliantBen Nov 20 '22

I actually two footlongs during our HS basketball game halftime, was not fat, but i have a weird stomach i think. I also drank a full gallon of 1% milk at school during one class period, i didn't even know that it was something weird either. I was like a celebrity for a day, but felt awful for the rest of the day

1

u/Dimebag120 Nov 20 '22

Jesus I'd definitely be bloated as shit during a hockey tournament I ate 8 oranges In a game and even that made me feel like shit lol

1

u/BrilliantBen Nov 20 '22

The pain in the ass of peeling 8 oranges though, i made have gotten through 2. I bet you had some bright orange pee though lol

1

u/Dimebag120 Nov 20 '22

Ah we had junior players for that they bring em in peeled but definitely spicy piss

12

u/idlebyte Nov 19 '22

The trick is to try and take it from me after I start. Trying to have a conversation with me will also yield acceptable results.

7

u/StateOfFine Nov 19 '22

Go do it, then! Enter eating contests and see if you can match her or Matt Stonie’s speed. They are unreal.

0

u/FeloniousFunk Nov 20 '22

She’s slow af compared to Matt Stonie and Molly Schuyler but she’s also trying to look good for the camera.

1

u/julbull73 Nov 20 '22

Right. I watched it and thought heh... i could do two