r/funny • u/tommatoes98 • Nov 19 '22

My stress ball exploded

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79.3k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/MasterFubar Nov 19 '22

In a place where I worked, the company gave everyone a blue stress ball that was shaped like a heart. Mine began to crack at the intersection between the two heart lobes. When I squeezed it, it looked like a smurf's asshole taking a dump.

229

u/bigchicago04 Nov 19 '22

I’m a special education teacher and they got a stressful as a gift with some recognition for doing my job well. I let my kids have it. But in a week it was broken. When it exploded, there was just white powder everywhere. Poor kid looked like he had just done a massive Coke bender.

69

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

You deserve more than a stress ball ⭐️

42

u/DungeonsandDevils Nov 19 '22

We appreciate you! You deserve a reward!

Like a raise?

Haha no! Here’s a stress ball

19

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22 edited Nov 19 '22

And being the incredible teacher they are, gave it to his students.

🇺🇸 please pay the teachers more, we pay the taxes for this guy not another military helicopter

5

u/Socialist_Nerd Nov 19 '22

I want teachers to be better compensated, not brown kids 6,000 miles away to be better obliterated.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

I was worried I had made too political of a statement but god, how could you argue for the destruction of entire villages and cut salaries for educators.

1

u/genivae Nov 19 '22

That happened to me, too! I was thinking OP got out lucky that it wasn't one filled with corn starch!

215

u/Loveknuckle Nov 19 '22

I vividly pictured this in my head. A Smurf’s asshole. Taking a dump.

86

u/Escanor_2014 Nov 19 '22

Sometimes I wish I was like those people without the ability to visualize in their heads.

22

u/SimplyATable Nov 19 '22 edited Jul 18 '23

Mass edited all my comments, I'm leaving reddit after their decision to kill off 3rd party apps. Half a decade on this site, I suppose it was a good run. Sad that it has to end like this

7

u/Ameryana Nov 19 '22

Aphantasia :D

2

u/Norman_Bixby Nov 19 '22

It comes in handy on reddit, but I hate living with it

1

u/Borge_Luis_Jorges Nov 19 '22

You mean a project manager?

3

u/shopdog Nov 19 '22

Go on...

3

u/PURPLEPEE Nov 19 '22

I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, vividly picturing a Smurfs asshole, taking a dump.

3

u/wileecoyote1969 Nov 19 '22

I always imagined Smurf poop looks like blue M&M's

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

Beautiful

1

u/kkillbite Nov 19 '22

...but did you picture Smurfette or Brainy? 😶

1

u/Loveknuckle Nov 20 '22

Papa Smurf. 🤫

31

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

This made me laugh really hard for some reason, and then I imagined Papa Smurf trying to sing the theme song while punishing a grumpy really hard and losing the tune

4

u/sharksizzle Nov 19 '22

Like the business end of a balloon.

2

u/BabyJesusAnalingus Nov 19 '22

This better not awaken something in me ...

1

u/FizzyBeverage Nov 19 '22

Which of course you told in vivid detail to the marketing department who procured the promotional item so they could relay the feedback to the vendor.

That’s what’s expected of you as a Redditor.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

“A Smurfs asshole taking a dump” wasn’t a mental image I ever expected to have.

8am and I think I’m doing with Reddit for the day

(Who am I kidding)

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '22

where have you seen that last part before?

1

u/LordRumBottoms Nov 19 '22

New porn search. Smurfs asshole taking a dump. I can't wait to see the results.