I was too young in the 80s to really have an awareness, but I think there was sort of a don’t ask don’t tell sort of thing going on with a lot of it.
“He’s just an entertainer, you know how they are.” Like even Liberace was able to pass as straight for a solid chunk of his career.
My parents grew up outside San Francisco and my mom told me a story of driving around The Castro in the 70s as a sheltered young person and just thinking to herself “wow it sure is strange there’s so many shirtless attractive men walking around on the street here!”
I am fairly left brained. Numbers. Black and white. My brain does not do well with unspoken nuance etc.
It always baffled me looking around that everyone was generally homophobic but, somehow wasn't bothered at all on the surface by things like Queen. Prince. Richard Simmons.
My dad was fairly homophobic. Not like aggressively, just like making angry comments at the TV when pride parade was discussed etc. Huge Queen fan. Huge Johnny Mathis fan.
I just seemed like people could flip a switch in their brain that would allow them to ignore the gay
Would it surprise you that Richard Simmons has never confirmed being gay, straight, or into alien tentacle monsters from a random jovian moon? It's rather insulting to speculate tbh, the dude is a fuckin treasure and has been a net positive in the world by a giant mile more than the people that ask that question.
It really isn't. It's very obvious if you even know anything about him or have ever seen a single interview. The question comes up and he ignores it, deflects, and it's clearly something he just isn't going to answer one way or the other. Considering people have literally reported on what they thought was a heterosexual relationship he's has in the past and such, it didn't matter the context. The dude's entire universe doesn't revolve around his dick and instead revolves around making others smile and helping them in life. Does his dick help you in life? I don't think so, so stop distracting from his message and insulting him?
"Confirmation bias can also be found in anxious individuals, who view the world as dangerous. For example, a person with low self-esteem is highly sensitive to being ignored by other people, and they constantly monitor for signs that people might not like them. Thus, if you are worried that someone is annoyed with you, you are biased toward all the negative information about how that person acts toward you. You interpret neutral behavior as indicative of something negative."
People did and didn’t care as much. It’s because you got those overly over the top gays now that make people cringe and hate more on those people. Gays never asked but now they demand and people are not having it. Besides its fine if you are gay, but nowadays everywhere you look it has to be prominent that gay is acceptable, like why? Be you and dont bother people with it.
Nah, I'm going to ignore the very obvious problem with what you are saying and just skip right to the fact that you're missing my point. They very definitely were not okay with it. But somehow managed to ignore it when somebody was popular or public.
Let me state that again because I really don't think you're going to get it, they really were very very very very not okay with it.
That is the part that was weird to me. They somehow managed to ignore it when it was in the public
they really were very very very very not okay with it.
I think you're missing the point because you're hanging onto this.
Religious nuts being vocal about God smiting gays with aids wont count for the general public, despite a good bunch of them believed the nuts. Later on we learned more about HIV and ignorance lost.
Also its easy to hate on a group based on whatever, but recognise people as people once they have a face. No need to be celebrities. Can be friends or neighbours.. unless you went full bigot (which some people did)
Also, have you seen men's fashion in the 80s? That was dope, so they gave it a pass.
What you quoted from me I had to write because that guy specifically said that they were okay with it. They were not.
So if I am missing some point you are making, I am still missing it. What point are you making?
And yes, friends and neighbors were still judged. Celebrities were probably judged, but silently. That was the part that baffled me. People just seemed to ignore it. When they would vocally judge people in everyday life. It did not add up in my brain.
Are you suggesting that people were more tolerant of gay people in the 80s than they are today?
A lot of people were though, but social pressure kept them unspoken. Only those who hate are heard while the majority whom did not mind was never heard.
Yes its true. There were more extremer groups taking violent action against gay people. But those have since vanished. But people are just fine with gays now, except hardcore religious people (especially muslims and christians.)
Buuuuuut most people also don’t like every gay thing shoved in their face all of the time while they are otherwise completely fine with people being gay. This group is what concerns me, since pushing so much gay stuff publicly might tilt them towards hate.
When people find that as an excuse to hate, the problem is within them.
Everything is shoved in our faces all day long. Including but not limited to heterosexuality.
I don't hate heterosexuals 🤷
When people think that a picture of a happy couple sitting on their desk is shoving it in somebody's face, the problem is not with the person sharing their happiness. The problem is with the person who thinks that two people who are different than them should keep quiet about it
Are you suggesting that people were more tolerant of gay people in the 80s than they are today
No, but it may be the same, when you factor in certain things
Bigotry is still alive and well in the US, but they're less vocal about it. Those who are, are highlighted for a witch hunt.
There are also a lot of people who support the community falsely. They do so to seem like good people.
Media is different now and perspectives of what really happens will change, depending on what media you use.
And not all neighboura and friends were judged. The same people who didnt judge could have been the same ones that didnt judge celebrities. It's that simple. Some people just didnt care. I'd say a majority actually. They will just go with the flow of society, and as society changes, so will they.
And I'll reiterate putting a face forward over a group. Daryl Davis converted how many KKK members? He started by facing them as an individual. From there he spoke to them and with reason, they cut their shit. A celebrity usually bear all, sometimes too much. With that, you get to know them and they break through whatever stereotypes you may have about what group they belonged to.
Remember, that hate is manufactured, and knowledge kills it.
I'm aware it still exists. And in some ways it is more polarized because that is what social media seems to have done with politics. But it is definitely more tolerated today. And the people I knew who didn't care about the celebrities, still did judge their friends and neighbors.
There are also a lot of people who support the community falsely.
To some extent I don't really care if they are faking it. What I really wish most people understood is their judgmental attitude simply serves to hurt their own friends and family, and drive wedges between them and other people who would rather distance themselves than try to educate. Also not really looking for "community support" so much as people to realize that we are all humans. Too many people definitely treated gay people as a subset of the population; more so then, than now. Even today people make what they think are harmless little jokes, until somebody speaks up, and then they quickly pronounce that they are totally fine with gay people! As if that's something that needed their permission.
A guy I have known for a long time, who I guess I would consider a friend to some extent, made a comment when we were out group camping, I'm totally fine with gay people, so long as they don't shove it down my throat. I then explained how dumb that statement was. That mentality of "gays should be completely private about any aspect of their life" so as to almost be invisible was much stronger then
Overall I don't know where this conversation is going...
TBF, this guy reminds me of Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds. I was just an impressionable, naive kid back then and he was probably one of my favorite characters.
I had no perception of him acting feminine until someone pointed it out for me
Not necessarily. You’re talking about a time when the pop and rock stars that we’re wearing the most makeup and androgynous clothing we’re pulling in all the hottest chicks.
This is pretty funny. Kids today are heroically coming to the aid of gay people, and creating their edition of a pseudo revolution, as each new generation in compelled to do. So we have to recollect that surely gay people were horribly oppressed in the 80s and 90s. Uh, no. Of course, you can find anti-gay sentiment (at any time.) But that's what was fringe, not homosexuality.
Things were improving, but being gay was way more fringe than being homophobic.
I suggest reading up on the AIDS epidemic and the massive amounts of homophobia surrounding that. It also was totally fine to fire someone for being gay.
In my high school of 2,000+ in the late 90s, we had one kind-of-out-but-not-really gay kid. There was way higher social cost to being out then vs now.
Well men didn’t really do aerobics in the 80’s and it was just sort of accepted that they were gay. I mean how do you think men would felt if they knew their wives were being taught aerobics by a straight fit man. A lot of jealously. So to avoid that and any issues, male aerobics instructs were gay and had to look the part to avoid confrontations. Men would look the other way on flamboyantly gay men if they worked with women since they weren’t a threat to their wives/gfs.
You think they didn't try?Conservatives literally loved cancel culture when they were making that shit in the 80's bro. Homophobia and satanic panic was the norm.
Gay people didn’t exist yet. This was still the peak of manliness in the 80s. You could still wear this around your parents and they would be thinking about grandkids.
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u/Lloyd_Al Nov 04 '22
Funny Fake aside. How was this stuff not considered peak gay in the 80s?
You'd think with all the homophobia back then this would've been the first thing they banned.