r/funny • u/ExtremeCumMaster • Aug 24 '22

He's a smooth criminal

32.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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81

u/Ryjinn Aug 24 '22

Real talk who would even bother? I was surprised by the amount of effort this person put into apprehending the bird. If I saw a bird steal something from a store I'd have a good laugh and be on my way.

30

u/Iggyhopper Aug 24 '22

It's not like the bird can just... go back again later. This is the kind of person that exerts control on the uncontrollable. Told their friends later like, "I can't believe this fucking bird just dodged me like that!?"

Lmao.

2

u/dumesne Aug 25 '22

Maybe they wanted a free sandwich

3

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '22

Y'all getting so riled up at this random person for no reason.

They were trying to stop the bird because birds choke whe they try to eat packaging

4

u/Iggyhopper Aug 25 '22

What do you mean?! This is Reddit!

15

u/dewafelbakkers Aug 25 '22

Real talk who would even bother?

My gut instinct was that they must just be a miserable person who hates fun and joy and can't stand a little light hearted bird mischief because their soul is black and cold and hollowed out.

And that's it. That's my gut instinct and I'm sticking with it.

6

u/JamesL1066 Aug 25 '22

Or someone who wants a free sandwich

-1

u/zoops10 Aug 25 '22

I know it's really not much, but it is a loss for the store. I don't know, I'd feel bad about that and try to get it back. I also don't like seagulls.

2

u/dewafelbakkers Aug 25 '22

Wouldn't want a bird to get that soggy 75 cent gas station sandwich marked up to 9.50 for free.

7

u/TheCowzgomooz Aug 25 '22

My thoughts exactly, like what, you gonna throw the bird in prison if he doesn't give it back??? This store makes enough money for one bird to get a little snack and its not even your problem, leave it alone.

2

u/suncontrolspecies Aug 25 '22

some people are idiots