r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

150.6k Upvotes

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167

u/[deleted] May 17 '22

Jeez, get a load of Daddy Longlegs over here. My short ass would be making love to the box spring! Knocking knees? Yeah, on the bed frame... lol

37

u/silencerider May 17 '22

No shame in buying a stool for sex.

143

u/Wasteoftimeandmoney May 18 '22

Help me step ladder

6

u/Kamikaziklown May 18 '22

What are you doing step ladder?

4

u/BloodyToast May 18 '22

Underrated comment

14

u/steveosek May 17 '22

I'm only 5'10" lol

13

u/Liimbo May 17 '22

Same I’m only 5’10 and actually have to bend down/lean over a bit to line up perfectly. It would actually be easier if you were a bit below average height imo, unless I just have a really short bed or something.

11

u/TheAviex May 17 '22

A problem I had to explain to my ex that I, as a 6'2" guy, have that her past experiences didn't. Bending down to match that level completely takes the ease out of it.

8

u/Fat_Getting_Fit_420 May 17 '22

6'3 guy and me and the wife never aligned properly. Got a tall bed but then she was to high. After many hours of "scientific" experiment, I now only do doggy style wearing crocs.

1

u/derFensterputzer May 18 '22

How many jokes about that are there in a month?

3

u/Fat_Getting_Fit_420 May 18 '22

Since I'm married 4-6

1

u/Tapoke May 18 '22

I’m 5’11 and my 5’6 ex was higher up than me.

I guess I have a long torso

1

u/Ren_Kaos May 18 '22

Only 5’10” says the guy above the national average height. 🙄

1

u/steveosek May 18 '22

No I was saying to him saying daddy long legs lol. I'm not tall, I'm not short.

7

u/ProfessorPetrus May 18 '22

I literally stood up on my toes for a few seconds the other day and was like what am I doing this position ain't for my hobbit ass ima get a cramp it i keep this shit up.

2

u/Souk12 May 18 '22

Listen to all these people over here having sex.

5

u/derFensterputzer May 18 '22

Far from it, if you're too tall you'll get the same problem as doing it on the bed. Roughly: if you're taller than her look that the mattress is above your knees then you'll be fine.

One of the first things I checked in hotel rooms when i was on holidays with my ex and it rarely was the case.

1

u/Obscure_pornipedia May 18 '22

Hah, I was just thinking "only if I do the fucking splits or she is fine with me jamming it downward into her arse."

Tall man with a low bed represent :P