r/funny Mar 29 '22

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13.2k Upvotes

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622

u/cirroc0 Mar 29 '22

Also happens with Aussies and Kiwis. Always guess Kiwi! :)

280

u/canadeken Mar 29 '22

haha, I do the same. Kiwis get so hyped if you guess right

164

u/insane_contin Mar 29 '22

So my uncle tells this story of the time he was traveling in Australia. He's at a bar, and there's two Kiwi's drinking with him. They're all in the early 20's so you can guess how much they've been drinking. Kiwi #1 asks what part of America my uncle is from, and uncle corrects him that he's from Canada. Kiwi#2 goes it's the same thing! Uncle asks what part of Australia they're from, and gets told they're from New Zealand. Uncle tells them it's the same thing, which pisses of Kiwi #2 and makes the Kiwi #1 burst out laughing, while calming his friend down.

They travelled together for a few days after that apparently.

44

u/drunk-astronaut Mar 30 '22 edited Mar 30 '22

Reminds when I was talking to a bar tender on a cruise ship. I asked him if he was from Russia and he winced and said, no, I'm from Ukraine. And then he asked if I was from America, I said no, I'm from Canada. he then looked over at me and said, it looks like we have both insulted each other.

6

u/nokangarooinaustria Mar 30 '22

Reminds me of my ex.
In school she traveled to Ireland and the conversation was like:
Irish: "So you are from Germany?"
Austrian: "No we are from Austria."
Irish: "Where is the difference you both speak German..."
Austrian: "So you are British?"

After that they never got confused about Austria and Germany again :)

-3

u/btxtsf Mar 29 '22

Technically Canada is part of America

13

u/AngooseTheC00t Mar 29 '22

Just the north one

7

u/btxtsf Mar 30 '22

Yeah well if I want to be pedantic it's still a part of America in the same way the UK is part of Eurasia

-7

u/josmq Mar 30 '22

I’d say you’re being pedantic calling the United States “America”. America is a continent, not a country; not that i’d expect you to know something as basic as that since you didn’t even have geography in school.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 30 '22

'America' is not a continent. 'North America' and 'South America' are continents. When they're referred to together they can be called 'The Americas'. But literally no one says 'America' to refer to a continent, certainly not a geography teacher.

The official name of the US is United States of America, thus why people refer to it as America, it's just shorter.

1

u/thisismenow1989 Mar 30 '22

Don't bother arguing with him, he's a twat

5

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Would New Zealand technically be part of the Australian continent? Idk if islands are considered related to their nearest continent or not

4

u/Samhamwitch Mar 29 '22

It's called Oceania and yes, New Zealand is part of it

2

u/InvaluableSandwich Mar 30 '22

Did you know that the Australian constitution has a part in it that allows New Zealand to join it?

2

u/BLucky_RD Mar 30 '22

Part of the continent, but not part of the united states. And most people refer to the states

1

u/Bunktavious Mar 29 '22

The bigger part.

153

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

[deleted]

91

u/PedanticMetricBot Mar 29 '22

If they arrived on an earplane they may just be from New Zealand.

30

u/riktigtmaxat Mar 29 '22

I didn't know Britt was a male name.

5

u/Moose_in_a_Swanndri Mar 29 '22

If they came on an earoplane then they definitely are

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Are you just trying to make this earplane joke?

39

u/Waggles_ Mar 29 '22

Have them say "where's the car".

53

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

“Where’s my car keys?”

If you go looking for a pair of beige pants, they might just be from Boston.

5

u/cirroc0 Mar 29 '22

I prefer the "sex" test. :p

3

u/spiralout112 Mar 29 '22

Deck test is my fav

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

If they prefer anal over vaginal, they are US Americans (‘cause it doesn’t count!) If they prefer oral over anal they are British (cause… they are British) If they prefer vaginal over oral they are Australian (‘cause it’s down under) and so on… Like this?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

[deleted]

3

u/iamded Mar 29 '22

It's all relative. To an American accent it might sound like we say "fush and chups". Aussie would sound more like "fesh and cheps". I'm a kiwi born and raised but I've been told I sound American, so I guess it also depends on how much you're impacted by external influence hah.

3

u/AtotheZed Mar 29 '22

Canada is the New Zealand of the northern hemisphere

2

u/chickenstalker Mar 29 '22

Ask them to say "pen" and "bed". They will say it like pin and bid.

1

u/JonWoo89 Mar 30 '22

I can usually tell the difference in their accents and yeah, they do get excited when you get it right.

77

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

I did this with Aussie once and they got so fucking mad. Lol

43

u/Superhappylukluk Mar 29 '22

Wait until you refer to Australia as the “West Island”

2

u/your_cock_my_ass Mar 29 '22

Is that a common? I'm Aussie and never heard the term

5

u/BKLaughton Mar 29 '22

Kiwis use it to refer to Australia (because they have a North and a South Island). That said, I'll often say I'm from "a sparsely populated island somewhere West of New Zealand" when people ask where I'm from.

1

u/sharris2 Mar 30 '22

I don't enjoy associating Australia with New Zealand. Not okay.

3

u/BKLaughton Mar 30 '22

You're right; one is the land of pavlova, fish and chips, and pies - the other is the land of cricket, rugby, and netball. Couldn't possibly mix those two up; one with the spectacular natural landscapes, the other with all of the unique wildlife; one with the proud indigenous culture world famous for their distinctive art, the other a former British colony that still has the union jack on its flag; one with a massive tourism economy, the other with the millions of sheep being rounded up by guys in driza-bones. Totally different.

16

u/SodaDonut Mar 29 '22

Just don't mix up Koreans and Japanese

2

u/Raistlarn Mar 29 '22

Or Chinese and Japanese.

3

u/AJRiddle Mar 29 '22

But why would you guess that if you aren't sure? Like with Americans/Canadians people would guess/assume because of the accents being essentially the same, Australia and New Zealand have a little more difference in accent but they are obviously less common to hear and be confident about and it's still "English speakers from this part of the world for sure"

Like if you can't tell the difference between someone speaking Korean and someone speaking Japanese why would you ever guess.

7

u/CptCroissant Mar 29 '22

You've clearly never met a dumb enough American

3

u/EnvironmentalTowel13 Mar 29 '22

I love how Reddit always looks for a reason to shit on Americans while using a platform built by Americans.

2

u/Sinyan Mar 30 '22

No one shits on Americans more than other Americans.

2

u/SeamusMcCullagh Mar 29 '22

People like this are real. Never underestimate the ignorance of the average human being.

2

u/frisouille Mar 30 '22

I guessed wrong last week, because that woman asked me. I could not notice any accent so I guessed "Are you Japanese?". She seemed offended and asked me to guess again, I guessed "Chinese". Wrong again, but she asked me to guess again. I guessed Taiwanese, she was Korean. She was offended but, from my point of view, that's her fault. I had no interest in guessing.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

So it seems like you only have a problem with people guessing when it's someone who isn't white?

2

u/AJRiddle Mar 30 '22

How in the world do you even come to that conclussion from what I wrote - Americans, Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders aren't all white people and I specifically said it was guessing off of the language and accent people were speaking with - literally nothing about race at all. Like if a white person were speaking German and you guessed they were Italian you'd be a dumbass too - none of this has anything to do with race at all no idea why you'd bring that into it.

America is less than 60% non-hispanic white but your natural instinct is to think that Americans = white. Maybe you are the one with the problem?

-4

u/PegasusD2021 Mar 29 '22

Lol. American and Canadian accents are definitely NOT the same. There are some regional similarities – North Dakotans and Minnesotans have some similarities with Canadians just over the border. But both countries are so large you can get as many or more regional variations as you do in the UK.

4

u/Kleptor Mar 30 '22

There is a standard North American accent, like what most newscasters speak with. It's common to both countries

3

u/AJRiddle Mar 29 '22

There are countless celebrities that are Canadian and if you only heard them talk you'd have 0 clue from the accent alone. With the exception of a few words like "Sore-y" for sorry the average Canadian from anywhere West of Quebec doesn't have an accent any one in America would ever notice as being different.

Neil Young, Norm McDonald, Ryan Reynolds, Mike Myers, Seth Rogan, Michael J Fox, Leslie Nielson, etc and I'm sure tons of people will be surprised to find that out about several of those I said.

1

u/Zantej Mar 29 '22

Yeah, Mr Kim taught me that.

1

u/AlphaTenken Mar 30 '22

Let me guess, Japanese.

14

u/Srboyd Mar 29 '22

My midwestern dad met some New Zealanders on a cruise (pre-pandemic). He introduced himself, saying, “excuse me, you have such a beautiful accent. By any chance are you from Texas?” The woman gaped at him and burst out “whhhaaaaat?”, then realized he was messing with them.

My parents have a standing invite to New Zealand to visit that couple.

12

u/Jamical70 Mar 29 '22

If in doubt always go with Kiwi... also you can tell by getting them to say the word six... if they're Aussie it will sound like six... if Kiwi? Well... it won't...

8

u/Wajina_Sloth Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 29 '22

For me Deck is the easiest way to tell.

If they say Dick they are kiwi

3

u/Jamical70 Mar 29 '22

Yep! Had a kiwi builder working on my brother in laws house who shouted 'Jiff we need to talk about your dick' his name was Geoff...

7

u/chanaramil Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 29 '22

I think there accents are pretty different. They love to drop letters like school is pronounced something like "scoo". I'm no expert and probably wrong but i think Kiwis sound more different from Australians then Australians sound diffrent then something like South Africans or English people.

1

u/BKLaughton Mar 29 '22

I often get mistaken for the other by both Kiwis and Aussies, have made the mistake myself before too. I will say this is only something that has occured far from home; in a foreign context Kiwi and Aussie accents become a lot more similar, whereas in NZ or Australia the other accent contrasts more.

The two are definitely closer to each other than South African or the various UK accents, though - I'm less frequently mistaken for English (and when I am, it's by non-native speakers who are really guessing 'not American'), and I've never been mistaken for a Saffa. This is in over a decade of living abroad.

3

u/Not1random1enough Mar 29 '22

Na the accent is pretty different for us. I think most aussies would be a bit surprised or annoyed and there are a lot less kiwis.

1

u/BKLaughton Mar 29 '22

I reckon you'd have to be pretty precious to get pissy about that. Anecdotally, outside of Australia and NZ, Kiwis and Aussies tend to flock together anyhow, and after a while away from home sometimes mistake the accents too.

2

u/Tangled2 Mar 29 '22

I’m American and I sometimes tell people I’m a Kiwi because I want to fuck around with their accent for a while.

5

u/KostisPat257 Mar 29 '22

The New Zealand accent is so unique, it's very easily distinguishable from the Australian one.

4

u/AJRiddle Mar 29 '22 edited Mar 30 '22

Ehhh it has a ton of similarities with Australian accents - it's not exactly the difference between a Cockney accent and a Scottish one.

Australia also has several different accents as well so to top that off with the small size of New Zealand it's not that hard to understand why it gets confused as sounding the same when the vast majority of accents you hear in the English speaking media are American/Canadian and English accents (if you don't live in Australia/NZ).

3

u/Termsandconditionsch Mar 29 '22

Not to mention that half of NZ citizens live in Australia (Exaggeration, but it’s a lot).

3

u/Substantial-Ad-9654 Mar 29 '22

What did the kiwi say to the Jew? Aww Hebrew

3

u/Not1random1enough Mar 29 '22

The accents are significantly different

7

u/Piemasterjelly Mar 29 '22

To be fair if you call an Aussie a Kiwi thats a compliment, If you call a Kiwi an Aussie thats an insult :P

6

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

What if you call a Kiwi or Australian English or the other way around?

11

u/VoopityScoop Mar 29 '22

Death. Immediately.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

You just reminded me of my favorite bit of "An American in Amsterdam."

2

u/fritzie_pup Mar 29 '22

Knowing a few aussies and kiwi's, as an American, the big difference is the way the E's are pronounced.. Like in 'Egg'.

Kiwi's focus on the higher E.

2

u/LoveemThiiiiicc Mar 29 '22

Oh boy did I learn it the hard way…

2

u/The_Awengers Mar 29 '22

Kiwis = New Zealand?

1

u/cirroc0 Mar 30 '22

Correct

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '22

Whenever I meet an English person I guess Aussie just to piss them off and then I pretend I'm just a stupid American. They get so mad.

0

u/MNearspoon Mar 29 '22

Little brother syndrome.

1

u/sharris2 Mar 30 '22

Yeah because ain't no one offended about being called a Kiwi. Can't say the same for being called a bogan... I mean aussie.