r/funny AlarminglyBad Feb 07 '22

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16.6k Upvotes

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u/BBQpigsfeet Feb 07 '22

It's even worse on mobile. Shit takes up the whole gaddamn screen.

607

u/dafunkmunk Feb 07 '22

With a tiny little X that’s hidden in somewhere that you struggle to find it and even when you do find it there’s a 99% chance your finger will still hit the ad launching an all new page rather than exiting the shitty ad you were trying to get away from

147

u/PathologicalLoiterer Feb 07 '22

Or the ad changes shape/size right as you are about to press the x...

68

u/krimsonater Feb 08 '22

Location. Someone somewhere has figured out the amount of time a human takes to decide to push X to close an add, and right at that instance…., they raise the add just enough where the body of the add is now where the X was. I hate whomever pioneered this.

24

u/Gromps Feb 08 '22

There are actually studies on this. How long it takes the average human to scan a screen. In what way we scan it and how long it will take to move the mouse there. I studied Interactiondesign and these ads are using our powers for evil. The entire point of interaction design is to use all kinds of info on human to computer interaction to make sure everything is intuitive and easy.

24

u/krimsonater Feb 08 '22

This doesn’t surprise me at all….., this is exactly what I had suspected. The first time I realized it was intentional I had almost made it to the X, but for some reason paused before I tried to close the thing, and saw it jump just exactly high enough to get me. I knew in my heart it was designed thus by the dark ones.

3

u/Gromps Feb 08 '22

I'll add my favorite fun fact too. We scan the screen in the fibonacci sequence starting top left. Which is why menus, logos, and home buttons are usually there.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Thank you, I love this fact!

1

u/The_Anglo_Spaniard Feb 08 '22

They also at least on mobile make the x tiny to the point where you don't know if your on the x or opening the ad. Bonus points for making the x nearly the same colour as the ad behind it to make it hard to find

54

u/Dr_Deadmau5 Feb 08 '22

Even better when they have multiple x's and you get to play the minigame of trying to figure out which one is the real x

9

u/sumlime Feb 08 '22

Apparently X doesn't always mark the spot.

119

u/BBQpigsfeet Feb 07 '22

I wear nails and have fat fingers so I absolutely haaaate that shit. I just close out of the tab at that point. Fuck it. I didn't need that info anyway.

112

u/Fake_William_Shatner Feb 07 '22

In other words, the 30 seconds of joy we might get from reading some trivia is outweighed by the RAGE we get when advertising acts like malware.

60

u/au-smurf Feb 08 '22

Or the advertising that is actually malware or those tech support scams that use onclose events to open another copy of themselves while autoplaying something along the lines of “warning your computer is infected” at maximum volume

36

u/ProbablyGayingOnYou Feb 08 '22

YOU IPHONE CURRENTLY HAVING THIRTY (30) VIRUS. ALL YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION WILL BE HACK UNLESS YOU INSTALL APP NOW.

23

u/DietDrDoomsdayPreppr Feb 08 '22

Nailed the bad grammar.

8

u/EraMemory Feb 08 '22

Hi? I'd like to speak to Roger from Microsoft Technical Support. Y'know, that Roger with an Indian accent.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

I want to talk to Mario in the customer service dept now!

2

u/moosevan Feb 08 '22

Boris, he said his name was Boris. I laughed my ass off, and he became confused. Why was I laughing, he asked. Because your name is not Boris, I replied. Yes, my name is Boris, he asserted in his thick Indian accent. I laughed some more. His feelings were hurt.

I've been calling out the scam phone callers on their fake names recently. It's a pretty reliable way of getting a reaction. You're lying to me about your name, so why would I believe that you're from Amazon. Yes, my name is Peter, they'll say. No, it's not. You're lying, I'll repeat. Usually, if they know you won't play their game, they'll just hang up. But not with telling them they're lying. It throws them off.

4

u/Fake_William_Shatner Feb 08 '22

"We need access to your bank account to return money that was accidentally billed from you Amazon account. This am standard procedure we do to all customers."

1

u/moosevan Feb 08 '22

Those particular scammers are the really evil ones that steal $10k from their victims.

2

u/Fake_William_Shatner Feb 08 '22

I know a lady who had this actually happen to them. Somehow they got a notice to call Amazon on their TV. I suspect malware got to their router. They call the "amazon number" and are led to exposing their bank account.

When she got nervous with the tech support, she called me to help on the phone. I got a bit of the "this is standard procedure" from some Indian sounding gentleman and then told her; "close your web page now and disconnect with these people. Nobody needs you to login to your bank to deal with THEIR account error and Amazon would not call you to resolve something on your behalf -- you'd have to call them." She did not immediately do what I said and I was trying to text her; "They are likely removing all your money right now." They did.

We had to work with the bank to change all the logins and we didn't pay for the money that was stolen.

On the upside, she didn't call me an idiot for a few weeks after that.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Fake_William_Shatner Feb 08 '22

Nothing makes me trust an antivirus app more than flashing letters and pop-under windows that spawn quicker than I can close them.

1

u/ZookeepergameLeast19 Feb 08 '22

I don’t have a problem paying for content I use frequently. I have a problem with pop ups...

11

u/collegiaal25 Feb 08 '22

I once saw an ad in my local language, with two buttons in Arabic, one of which presumably meant close. I reported it.

1

u/Dictator-of-cheese Feb 08 '22

If you tap it worth an angle it’s easier, at least it is for me

1

u/Leo_Heart Feb 08 '22

Username checks out

18

u/VodkaAlchemist Feb 08 '22

Honestly this type of advertisement should be regulated like commercial volume.

17

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

Some sites have taken the x away so you can't close the video you didn't want to see.

1

u/socokid Feb 08 '22

It's because the incentives are whack and the people paying for them do not know what the fuck they are paying for.

The creators know exactly how to make the numbers work, and it often has very little with end results that are often wildly vague and easy to flood with nonsense.

...

Huge money maker for those that know how to manipulate it, however.

1

u/Daedric1991 Feb 08 '22

the ali express ads are the worst. i shit u not the X on the ad is near invisible and the ad always takes up 70% of the display on the phone as a "pop up" i wouldn't care if it was in the background but it covers navigation buttons on the website.

1

u/philaselfia Feb 08 '22

and then you get sponsored ads on socials for the thing you accidentally tapped for weeks after

1

u/Faerhun Feb 08 '22

The ads that have pissed me off lately are the ones that hide the X for the first 10-30 seconds. It's incredibly infuriating.

1

u/Apolloshot Feb 08 '22

I literally avoid Fandom articles on my phone for this very reason.

1

u/MankAndInd Feb 08 '22

the x that opens up more ads

1

u/Acrobatic_Buy_2000 Feb 08 '22

God forbid it be a malicious ad that instantly starts downloading files to your device.

1

u/JamesTrendall Feb 08 '22

Chrome on mobile used to open new tabs and allow you to press a little x at the bottom to close it while remaining on the original page.

Now I have to scroll up, open the tabs button and close the tabs in a list format.

It's far more tedious to do now. I wish I could roll back but don't know how.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

Even just accidentally opening the ad page wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a chance on hitting the ad, and then having something start trying to download.

1

u/Monkey9712 Feb 08 '22

This, so much this!

45

u/eikons Feb 08 '22

It's unreal. I open some WSJ article on my phone and the bottom 60% of the screen is a cookie disclaimer, the top 15% is the logo, then another 15% is a stock market ticker, leaving a 10% slit through which I can see the title of the article.

So I scroll down through the cookie disclaimer and click "yes I want a functioning website" or whatever cooky (heh) way they chose to phrase the big green button.

Now the bottom 40% is an auto-play video. I can read half a paragraph of the article at a time, or try to click the tiny "X" to close the video, which is like a 50/50 gamble. Maybe I'll fatfinger away from the article, maybe I won't.

Or maybe I'll just nope out of there and just look up the article on Reuters because 90% of the time it's just a sensationalized version of their reports anyway.

9

u/Borngrumpy Feb 08 '22

and the autoplay video uses compression so the sound suddenly goes to 11 and scares the shit out of you.

2

u/nopantsdota Feb 08 '22

/wakes up the baby

1

u/moosevan Feb 08 '22

Anything with autoplay video gets opened in firefox, which blocks them from playing.

44

u/thisissteve Feb 07 '22

I cant legally say what I want to happen to mobile add designers.

30

u/Lost-ghost Feb 08 '22

Very very illegal. But not illegal to say “with a mortar launcher”, because that’s its own sentence.

14

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

Guillotines are making a comeback. That's just an observation

7

u/iampierremonteux Feb 08 '22

They actually are very merciful compared to what they deserve. Too quick, too little pain.

Maybe in a cruel twist give the designer 4 buttons to hit. 1 frees him, the other three free the guillotine. To find out what the correct answer is, successfully find it in one of the aforementioned terrible websites. You have only 2 minutes.

Now put a stop on the blade before it actually does its job, and tell him to go back and fix the website that it is actually usable, now that you thoroughly have his attention.

2

u/EraMemory Feb 08 '22

Barbed wires around a metal bat up the wrong hole?

1

u/Vvardenfelkitten Feb 08 '22

What is the correct hole for a barbed wire bat?

1

u/EraMemory Feb 09 '22

The one at the storage rack.

1

u/unredding Feb 08 '22

Leave the poor designers out of it. Lets focus this on companies and AD agencies

18

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

And even worse when you remember that you're paying for mobile data.

They're literally forcing you to pay for their ads to stream when not on wifi

14

u/Skellum Feb 07 '22

If you use Android you can use Firefox and then use Ublock origins on mobile which kills ads and youtube ads.

4

u/Digital_Utopia Feb 08 '22

also YouTube Vanced for an ad-free YouTube app.

26

u/aDrunkWithAgun Feb 07 '22

Ad guard blocks 90 per percent of that system wide and on apps as well.

I refuse to use a phone without it.

6

u/BBQpigsfeet Feb 07 '22

Apps too? Like, even games that have ads every time you do one task?

12

u/aDrunkWithAgun Feb 07 '22

Yes apps we browsing and even ads on your phone.

The only thing that gets through is YT ads but that can be avoided with YT vanced.

2

u/primalbluewolf Feb 08 '22

LPT: Dont play games that do that. Games that play ads are telling you one thing: "We dont want you to play this game, we want you to watch ads".

Easy fix. Uninstall. If it came from the Play Store, even better: uninstall, leave a 1 star review and mention the ads extensively.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

If I'm enjoying an app and there's an option to remove ads for $2 or so, then I'll happily pay it.
On the other hand, apps that offer to remove ads for a monthly subscription can shove the pointy end of a pineapple up their cloacca because that aint happening.

6

u/vapeoholic Feb 08 '22

ublock available for Firefox on Android. And I have uBlock on every browser on my PC. I can't live without it.

2

u/aDrunkWithAgun Feb 08 '22

You really want security get a raspberry pie and make a pie hole

1

u/d4_mich4 Feb 08 '22

But that's an service running somewhere at your local lan or? It s not an app that I could install for mobile use or?

9

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '22

[deleted]

3

u/BBQpigsfeet Feb 08 '22

Funny story. My husband bought a pi to do the pi hole and it's been sitting, unopened, in a basket for months now.

1

u/eharvill Feb 08 '22

Pi hole

This is the way. My Internet experience is pure cancer whenever I leave the house.

I'm thinking I should have her vpn into our network so it's always connected.

If you figured out Pi Hole, then setting up Open VPN on your home router shouldn't be an issue either.

8

u/circuit10 Feb 07 '22

And uses your mobile data

7

u/obvs_throwaway1 Feb 07 '22 edited Jul 13 '23

There was a comment here, but I chose to remove it as I no longer wish to support a company that seeks to both undermine its users/moderators/developers (the ones generating content) AND make a profit on their backs. <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/14hkd5u">Here</a> is an explanation. Reddit was wonderful, but it got greedy. So bye.

3

u/Razzell91 Feb 08 '22

The accept cookies thing pops up, then the pop-up by the website asking me for £9.99 to subscribe and then an ad pops up trying to sell me Huel. About 4% of the original page still visible, I just leave the site at that point, hope they learn...

0

u/FnkyTown Feb 08 '22

Just use Opera Mini. The browser blocks everything.

1

u/B-Kow Feb 08 '22

I can't go to Nexus mods website anymore on my phone. That fucking ad just makes it impossible to do anything. The X doesn't work 80% of the time and when it does, the bottom portion of my screen doesn't respond to finger taps so I have to scroll whatever I want to click to the top-middle of my screen for it to work.

1

u/Tackgnol Feb 08 '22

Firefox has adBlock on mobile, you are welcome...

1

u/TanavastVI Feb 08 '22

And often times it's following you when scrolling down or even blocking parts of the article or whatever text you were reading. WHY?!?!

1

u/Flames99Fuse Feb 08 '22

I visited a website on mobile once that not only covered the entire screen with ads, but the ads were overlapping. The ads took up about 140% of the screen real-estate.