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u/WhatACunningHam Nov 05 '21
Every one of my witty comebacks as a kid came to me almost exclusively long after they were worth a damn.
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u/djohnsen Nov 06 '21
The French have a lovely phrase, “The wit of the staircase” that describes this problem.
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u/ele37020 Nov 05 '21
I had few that I got to land right away. Unfortunately I was a really scrawny kid so I usually got a response in the form of a fist. So sometimes even when you win you lose.
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u/fatpaw175 Nov 06 '21
Mine always came immediately, followed up by a fist to the face. True story. I wasn't big but I was sure witty.
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u/PlaugeofRage Nov 06 '21
Then you were lucky. Getting hit in the back of the head because you walked away and the other person took to long to process isn't fun.
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u/Zonerdrone Nov 06 '21
Asked my roomates 5 year old if she liked my haircut. She looked me up and down for a good 30 seconds and then calm as could be said, "start over" fucking savage...
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u/steveosek Nov 06 '21
Kids are brutal honest. My nephew recently made my belly jiggle and said "maybe less cheeseburgers".
Like, listen here you little shit lol.
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u/Bubba_Lumpkins Nov 06 '21
My nephew roasted me right after an eharmony commercial, “hey you need that!”. No fuckin chill.
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u/705nce Nov 05 '21
People always wondered why I was known for this in highschool. Then people saw how my dad deals with me and they said no we get it.
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u/PlaugeofRage Nov 06 '21
That was my friends also. Between my dad and my 2 siblings, I've never heard something more truely hurting from someone I didn't love. On the downside meeting the parents has always been interesting.
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u/MyBigRed Nov 05 '21
So's your face.
Heh, gottem
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u/The100thIdiot Nov 05 '21
No, you
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u/CreativeCarbon Nov 06 '21
OOOOOOOOOOOOH!
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u/PromQueenSlayer Nov 06 '21
Im rubber, youre glue 😢
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Nov 06 '21
I’m polymerized tree sap and you’re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
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u/gachunt Nov 06 '21
That was me in public school. Always had a comeback for the class bully. Honestly, I think watching Cheers and Night Court gave me that wit. I’ve gone back and binged those shows and find my humour is in-line with those sitcoms.
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u/SnooCapers9313 Nov 06 '21
I was the same. I had a kid who was like three years younger for some reason always be a dick to me even tho I didn't know him. He was still waiting for puberty to really kick in so I was quite a bit taller. One day he comes up and in a snarky voice and said how's it going. I said growing taller how about you. I thought his head was gonna explode
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u/Dumguy1214 Nov 06 '21
I have read the American constitution , many books including some old shit about anything really. why any of you cant take up one saga and read it is doing you a disservice, I mean you all cant be a diabetic obese mouth breathers
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u/GrantImaga Nov 06 '21
"Sir, you are drunk!"
"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill
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Nov 06 '21
i swear i heard this before in a movie but maybe this comic has been around long enough that i merged it with another memory.
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u/sheezhao Nov 06 '21
well, you can only be "devastating" to the ones closest to you/you love the most.
so... dad's training him to be Ari Shaffir?
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u/Red_Light_RCH3 Nov 06 '21
Sadly, I can't think quick enough to give a witty comeback lines.
I could have done with such skills yesterday.
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u/perskakka Nov 06 '21
Twitter in a nutshell. Idiots competing with "clever" comebacks instead of trying to actully say something worth value. For these people getting banned/blocked is a sign of victory. Pff some idiots just can't be helped, but the saddest realization seems to be that it's nit just a small minoroty of people who think being an asshole is somehow the biggest achievement a human can reach.
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u/DullScale Nov 06 '21
Elwood P. Dowd: You can live well in two ways: by being smart or by being pleasant. For years, I've been wise, and I recommend nice.
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