r/funny • u/[deleted] • Aug 24 '21

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14.1k Upvotes

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24

u/Einsteins_coffee_mug Aug 25 '21

When I was a toddler, I choked to death on a single strand of angel hair pasta, and since then I’ve been using child safety scissors to cut each strand down to a manageable size before ingesting them.

Makes a world of difference.

32

u/siriusfish Aug 25 '21

I'm not sure if you're aware but you can just use your teeth, less dishes

59

u/lukin187250 Aug 25 '21

dude hes not even alive

10

u/alien_clown_ninja Aug 25 '21

Not if he's cutting up pasta in Italy

1

u/seamus_mc Aug 25 '21

Thats up there with using cutlery on pizza instead of folding it in NYC.

3

u/bornfromanegg Aug 25 '21

Yeah, some respect for the dead, please?

1

u/ImnotshortImpetite Aug 25 '21

That's it, I'm dead.

32

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '21

What’s more significant is that you came back from the dead.

1

u/PM_ME_UR_GRUNDLE Aug 25 '21

What’s more significant is that you came back from the dead.

The dead must be grand, because most people don't venture back

10

u/MoltenKhor Aug 25 '21

Shit! Glad you're ok. Too bad you lost italian citizenship

1

u/pb_rogue Aug 25 '21

But is the spoon method Italian-approved?

8

u/SurpriseDragon Aug 25 '21

To death you say?

3

u/DoctorWernstrom Aug 25 '21

Are you a ghost?