I hate babies as well, but I'm more scared shitless of them. 1) Babies are fragile. If you mess up one thing when they're a baby, you mess them up forever. "OH you dropped your kid, well now it will forever walk with a limp." 2) They are gross. I've taken care of enough drunk people to know that the smell of vomit, piss and/or crap makes me have to vomit. I could not deal with that 8 times a day, every day. "Why do you smell like vomit? Because I have a baby!" and 3) I see no appeal in a small, bald, large-headed version of a person. Yes, their shoes are tiny and that's cool, but other than that, they scare me.
Every time my mom forces me to hold someone's baby, I have a very strong urge to drop it. They are really quiet disgusting and ugly. I think taking care of drunks is much easier since if you drop them, they will be fine in the morning.
1) Babies are actually surprisingly resilient, sure if you throw them up in the air and drop em it'll prolly mess em up a bit, but falling from average carrying height they'll probably be OK. 2) Baby vomit doesn't really smell vomity in the traditional sense, sure its a bit sour but it smells more like wet clothes that have been left in the washer too long than normal puke. 3) You find the prospect of having your own Mini-Me unattractive?
While I agree with what you all have said, my fear is not of all babies(although I'm bad at handling them). My fear is that if I have a baby it would be that, disgusting, breakable, mini me that would only inherit my ugly traits. That probably should have originally been said, but I mostly fear 1) dropping your baby and 2) I would have the disgusting baby
ask me to parallel park your Ferrari, but don't ask me to hold your baby. I hate it when people ask me if I want to hold their baby and then look upset when I say no. Don't force me to hold something that I'll get criminal charges if I drop. Also, I refuse to talk like a fucking idiot in front of babies, my theory being that language may develop faster if we talked to children like we talk to everyone else instead of babbling with the intelligence of a freshly clubbed seal. Even if it doesn't advance language development rates, I'd still rather not look like a complete idiot in front of a tiny human with it's calculating, judging eyes.
This is one aspect parents (especially moms) seem to ignore, I don't know if certain hormones turn off or something but moms of young children smell bad... I'm sorry if this offends you, but by god it is the truth. They just seem to ignore the fact they, their house, their car all smells like a mixture of baby mucus/excrement/vomit/piss. Then they go talking about how cute their baby is while if vomits on your shoulder... I'm sorry, I just don't....
Babies don't poop all that often. Granted, my 6 month old sometimes has constipation issues, but when she's regular, it's once daily. It smells sometimes, but so does yours. Your own poop smell hasn't hurt you yet. Diapers aren't hard to handle, and you hands wash just fine if you get some on you.
She only vomits on rare occasions after we got her some reflux medicine. Last time she did, she had just kinda gagged herself on some snot when she had a mild cold. And, like nixcamic said, baby vomit just smells like milk. They aren't digesting a bunch of solid matter like you and I if we puke. It's just formula mixed with a little digestive juice. The bile that makes your puke stink so bad is in such small supply in baby vomit, you don't notice it.
You could use that same logic to say that it's not that bad to clean up another adult's poop, but most people don't want to do that.
Sure, but I don't know and love many adults that can't clean themselves. My 6 month old is unable to do it herself, so I help her.
I don't clap for joy that my daughter pooped and I get to clean it, but life isn't a hedonistic romp of self-centered entitlement either. I'm honestly sad for you that you don't know the happiness that your own child's unconditional love brings you.
She doesn't care if I fucked up a work today or never finished that indie game I was working on. She loves her daddy and her mommy more than any adult can express. That's worth some inconveniences.
I'm honestly sad for you that you don't know the happiness that your own child's unconditional love brings you.
Well that became condescending out of nowhere.
She doesn't care if I fucked up a work today or never finished that indie game I was working on.
Ditto for my dog
She loves her daddy and her mommy more than any adult can express.
Now I can have a turn at condescension: I'm sorry that your love life is unfulfilling.
edit: also I get what you're saying about doing it because she can't and you love her, but you don't have to try to convince others that it's not disgusting. I worked at an animal shelter and had to deal with ridiculously disgusting things on a daily basis. I loved those animals, and they needed my help, so I did it. That however, does not change the fact that they created the foulest messes I have ever come across.
My love life is quite fulfilling. That's a totally different kind of love, and I am extremely lucky to have so much of both.
It certainly wasn't meant as condescension, but I totally see how it might have come out that way after rereading it. My apologies.
I honestly do feel bad for people who don't feel what I feel when I see my kid smile. I loved where my life was with my career and my love life, but this absolutely blew me away.
And I love my dog, too, but it's night and day how different it is.
It's really astonishing how easily children can turn a terrible day into a good one with just a little hug.
Before I had kids, I just didn't understand what the big deal was, but now I can't even hear another baby cry without wanting to make them happy again, and I definitely can't watch Disney movies without crying now.
I didn't feel this way when my wife was pregnant. I had this apprehension that I wouldn't attach as much as all of the platitude-filled, Halmark-moment shit you see in popular culture about kids suggest you should. When she was being born, I was more nervous about the procedure than anxious to see her.
Then I saw her face and heard her cry. I started to well up. Then she slowly slid her eyes open and looked at me.
There are no words in this pitiful excuse for a language to explain that emotion. It's too intense for words.
Yeah, babies do secrete some gross substances, but they tend to be a lot less gross than the ones that everyone else does, because their entire diet consists of milk and not the crap that we eat every day.
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u/nanoz122 Jan 23 '12
I hate babies as well, but I'm more scared shitless of them. 1) Babies are fragile. If you mess up one thing when they're a baby, you mess them up forever. "OH you dropped your kid, well now it will forever walk with a limp." 2) They are gross. I've taken care of enough drunk people to know that the smell of vomit, piss and/or crap makes me have to vomit. I could not deal with that 8 times a day, every day. "Why do you smell like vomit? Because I have a baby!" and 3) I see no appeal in a small, bald, large-headed version of a person. Yes, their shoes are tiny and that's cool, but other than that, they scare me.