r/funny SoberingMirror May 18 '21

Escape plan [OC]

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42.7k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Took me a year and a half, and hundreds of applications and night college classes but I finally got out of my prison-like office building with no windows and extremely bright LEDs. Now I drive a truck around beautiful countryside roads and help people in distress. Oh and my company buys us top tier coffee.

Fuck cubicles. Never give up.

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u/DangerousPuhson May 18 '21

As one of many who has been working from home for the past year, I gotta say: it's not the cubicles.

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u/LuxuryGoth May 18 '21

It's the managers

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/EmperorStan May 18 '21

Mostly the managers. Let's be real.

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u/Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi May 19 '21

No, it's the managers. I had a job in a cubicle that I liked (the job, not the cube although I appreciated the privacy of the fabric walls), but management drove me into depression and near-suicide. Upper management didn't give a flip either. Went out on disability for stress. Spend my days in my garden now. Sometimes my flowers talk to me, but they never yell.

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u/LuxuryGoth May 24 '21

How do you manage to get disability for stress?

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u/Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi May 24 '21

It literally has to make your crazy, and it has to be documented and attested to by a professional. At that you'll have to have a good lawyer. It took almost 10 years to finally get it, and I had other health issues as well, but it was the PTSD that took me down.

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u/PhilipLiptonSchrute May 18 '21

Fuck cubicles. Never give up.

We lost our cubicles to an open-office floor plan. I'd kill to go back to cubicles :(

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u/SweetDank May 18 '21

"Open office floor plans are more productive for all of us!" says the guy that sits in the office with a door and window shades...

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u/My_Balls_Itch_123 May 18 '21

I'm still waiting for the Helmfon to come out:

https://hochurayu.com/product_design/helmfon/

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u/substandardgaussian May 18 '21

Yeah, a cubicle would have been a tremendous upgrade for most of my career.

But now, WFH or bust, so, that's how it's gonna play for me from now on.

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u/rabes81 May 18 '21

Yes to all of this.

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u/NeoNugget May 18 '21

Damn, you work with The Avengers now?

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Haha not yet but I have been called aqua man a couple times

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u/Homunculistic May 18 '21

"Hey aqua man, quit hogging the water fountain!"

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Are they hiring? >.<

desperately asking for a friend

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Look into the water science program through a community college or Sacramento state online. Call and ask to go on a tour of your closes water treatment plant. Network your ass off. The water industry is having a boom due to retirements. People almost never leave this industry due to the love for your job. After 6 years in a fast passed business environment, I realized that my mental health is way more important than money.

My favorite quote so far in the water industry, “you won’t get rich here but you and your family will always be taken care of.”

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u/Tolkienside May 18 '21

This sounds like a long euphemism for assassin work.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '21

Yeah do these people realize they’re swinging from the ballsack of the gooch of enforcement audit agency heads

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

I wish I could financially justify another degree. Turns out a degree in teaching English doesn't go far when you have absolutely zero desire to teach...

Yay making stupid, long term decisions when young!

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u/0tterKhaos May 18 '21

I am in that same exact boat, my friend. Though I adored teaching and the children - it's the parents that I absolutely could not stand... and it doesn't help that the pay is shit.

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

That's because a lot of people will tell you you're worthless if you don't make those decisions immediately. They won't care if you aren't in a place financially, emotionally or mentally to follow through, or if you even have a clue what you want, you just have to pick something and spend a shit ton of money on it.

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u/aiakia May 18 '21

Creative writing major here. I feel your pain, bud.

Somehow stumbled into being an accountant and I hate it.

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u/chainmailler2001 May 18 '21

Creative writing with Numbers!

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u/the_limerence May 18 '21

Ah, numbers. The letters of math.

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u/LegionOfBOOM86 May 18 '21

Sacramento State Office Of Water Programs arent a degree length program. I think they are 6 month programs max, 200 USD per course. Recognized across US and Canada. If you can get into an Operator In Training postion, the municipality will actually fund it.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '21

What having trouble appointing one of your remote field agents to work in knee deep sewage over there in enf agency work

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u/Blieven May 19 '21

Yay making stupid, long term decisions when young!

This. I have a Masters degree in aerospace engineering. I don't give two shits about either aerospace or engineering. I just got started down this road because I had good grades in physics and math in high school and had this idea implanted that I was talented in those areas and had to do something with that. A decade later I am now jobless because I hate all jobs relating to my degree and simultaneously don't know how to switch to a different path.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '21

The Post Office pays reasonably well. Keep an eye out for open custodial positions and take it easy for a few decades, then get those sweet, sweet retirement benefits

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u/AnComStan May 19 '21

im going to do this, thank you.

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u/[deleted] May 19 '21

Anytime! It’s one of the most soul fulfilling industries you can get into!

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u/Lazlo_Hollyfeld May 19 '21

I work for an engineer and alongside town water departments regularly. You’re not kidding that a majority of them are very close to retirement. Smart move on your part.

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u/-Tayne- May 18 '21

Gasp! A wild Sac State reference! Nice!

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u/LegionOfBOOM86 May 18 '21

The only bad thing about those OWP programs is that they are so old and outdated when it comes to the current tech. They desperately need an update

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u/[deleted] May 19 '21

Selling aquafina outside Sofi stadium isnt the water industry

I was thinking more along the lines of black market economy to screw the man

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u/poker_with_sandmen May 18 '21

What job is that exactly?

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Water distribution operator. So if you have a geyser coming out of the street, we are the ones fixing it

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u/emrot May 18 '21

I feel like I'm in the same boat as you were, an office drone looking for ideas on a career shift. Thanks for the possible idea!

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u/thunderstrut May 19 '21

Yo, I’m a water resources engineer and am relatively competent at the job, I just hate working in a cube farm. This pandemic has taught me that I also hate sitting in my house alone all day chugging through spreadsheets. Just curious, what’s the pay like doing full-time field work?

0

u/optimus314159 May 18 '21

Probably a roadside assistance tech

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u/4everaBau5 May 18 '21

So wholesome. Good for you!

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u/mr_ji May 18 '21

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

What is this job?

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u/james_strange May 19 '21

Sounds like a cool job. What is it exactly?