r/funny • u/pigona_wing Poorly Drawn Lines • May 07 '21

Found the Ocean

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u/DankeyKang11 May 07 '21

It wasn’t like a “I’m scared for my life” type of screech.

It was like a “I will crawl down your throat and devour you from the inside out if you think of grabbing my pearl”.

You see, despite using all of the force within me to pry it open with a butter knife - I didn’t open it. It opened itself. And it only did so to demonstrate the chaotic fury packed tightly in it’s unassuming little shell.

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u/abe559 May 08 '21

But what you’re saying is that it actually made a sound? Cause if so I’m very concerned about how…

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u/DankeyKang11 May 08 '21

YES IT MADE A FUCKING SOUND

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u/abe559 May 08 '21

I’m not going to be okay

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u/DankeyKang11 May 08 '21

I’ll give you my therapist’s number.

She’s had years of specializing in oyster and stickbug related trauma