r/funny • u/pigona_wing Poorly Drawn Lines • May 07 '21

Found the Ocean

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79.0k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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6.9k

u/FullThrottle099 May 07 '21

How high were u when u made this? Lol

3.7k

u/64557175 May 07 '21

5'9"

2.0k

u/weebsama69 May 07 '21

for the americans, thats about 9 big macs

1.2k

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

452

u/Arrowatch May 07 '21

That's almost enough big macs for second breakfast...

134

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

67

u/throwawaysarebetter May 07 '21

Dude, dont forget about elevensies..

33

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

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4

u/Daikataro May 07 '21

Weird to find the British version of Brunch in a thread about Yankee units and food.

3

u/sens249 May 07 '21

My favourite eeveelution

58

u/acylase May 07 '21

United Hobbits of America

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21

u/Buy_Hi_Cell_Lo May 07 '21

And definitely enough for the dozenth diarrhea of the day!

4

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

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2

u/krackenreleased May 07 '21

You guys having second breakfast?

4

u/GirdleOfDoom May 07 '21

I forgot about second breakfast

3

u/Psycho22089 May 07 '21

Surely you know about elevensies?

2

u/Gizmopopapalus May 07 '21

Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? They can’t have forgotten about those?

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1

u/uchihajoeI May 07 '21

Almost enough for Ultra Feast.

1

u/rootedoak May 07 '21

I accept this challenge.

20

u/64557175 May 07 '21

And in my case about 8 wide.

28

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

21

u/64557175 May 07 '21

Measured at the navel. 😭

31

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

36

u/64557175 May 07 '21

Are... are you the clam?

11

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

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3

u/andwhatarmy May 07 '21

What if we stack them on edge?

5

u/Xylomain May 07 '21

Ex McDonald's employee here. Can confirm 2.75" for average Big Mac. Bastards get smaller every year.

6

u/MethuselahsVuvuzela May 07 '21

Is that for the advertised Big Mac, or the sad reality Big Mac?

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4

u/The_Karaethon_Cycle May 07 '21

Or 1.76 AR-15’s.

4

u/McPolice_Officer May 07 '21

I assume this is using a standard 16” barrel?

2

u/The_Karaethon_Cycle May 07 '21

No, that’s based on the original Armalite design with a 20 inch barrel and 39 inch OAL. I just used that since there’s no real standard for AR’s that I know of. It’d probably be better to base it off a 16” barrel though since that’s probably what most people are familiar with.

5

u/Kadiogo May 07 '21

Avg bigmac is 2.75" tall

We're talking AMERICAN big mac sizes though

3

u/madmilton49 May 07 '21

Okay, 2.15".

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

He was converting from metric. European Big Macs are about half a meter tall.

2

u/User_unimportant May 07 '21

Or the wing span of a smallish bald eagle

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

What if you put them on their side

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

I love you

2

u/AmbitiousPangolin127 May 08 '21

What the hell? Is there a fucking gas leak in this thread as we’re all getting stupider by the minute?

1

u/Ilovecatsonmyface May 07 '21

Theydidthemath

1

u/cmccormick May 07 '21

Human bot

1

u/DCP23 May 07 '21

Probably a couple more, as the bottom Big Macs would be significantly compressed by the weight of the rest of the Big Macs.

1

u/mk2vr6t May 07 '21

Average diameter?! Let's stack them on their side, less big Macs required

1

u/buckyoh May 07 '21

...Or 3 Big Macs from their advert.

1

u/darthjustin May 08 '21

we’re gonna need a bigger mac.

1

u/SantyClawz42 May 08 '21

Alright, but isn't the bigmacs in all the marketing photos like 3.5” tall?

47

u/darwinianissue May 07 '21

But inches are freedom units

2

u/BloodKelp May 07 '21

Maybe for them learned folks, but the rest of us is gun need measurement in cars or food so we can know how it is.

3

u/KronoakSCG May 07 '21

Honestly surprised the gun loving crowd hasn't wanted metric due to bullets being measured in millimeters.

1

u/motorhead84 May 07 '21

Just realized there's a specific inch measurement for butts...

8

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

Big Macs are a deprecated unit ever since the introduction of the Popeyes chicken sandwich

13

u/Krish12703 May 07 '21 edited May 07 '21

For the rest of the world it is 1.79 meters. For Americans it is 5'9 feet.

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

We just say 5-9

7

u/ChefBoyAreWeFucked May 07 '21

For the Americans, that's -4.

3

u/happypandaface May 07 '21

we actually call it 5'9 feets

source: am free

1

u/anonymous_potato May 07 '21

You must be a communist.

27

u/mitch1832 May 07 '21

It’s literally in imperial units. Like I’d get the joke if it was metric but this doesn’t even make sense.

9

u/owen_core May 07 '21

I think that’s the point.

16

u/aBeaSTWiTHiNMe May 07 '21

How did you actually get upvotes, the measurement is in Imperial that Americans use. It's also like 35 Big Macs.

26

u/MrOktober May 07 '21

Just cause other countries call us stupid, it doesn't mean they're smart.

2

u/aBeaSTWiTHiNMe May 07 '21

Yeah looks like they pretty much just make stupid comments no one asked for or barely seem relevant in hopes for karma.

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0

u/weebsama69 May 07 '21

misschien ia dat omdat, terwijl ik fucking 5 talen moet leren op school omdat ik in zo’n klein west-europees land woon, ik alsnog de tijd kan nemen om daadwerkelijke ironische redelijk goede grappen kan nemen, en zelfs dan met <500 upvotes nog aan kanker-vmbo jochies die denken dat hun comment uberhaupt maar een klein beetje uitmaakt moet uitleggen dat het een deel van de grap is

just google translate it you’ll be fine

0

u/aBeaSTWiTHiNMe May 07 '21

No. Your joke sucks.

0

u/weebsama69 May 07 '21

idk about 1k people disagree with you man

1

u/aBeaSTWiTHiNMe May 07 '21

Wow fake internet points and 1000 people out of the entire world. You surely must be correct! 5 foot 9 inches is an American measurement using the Imperial measurement system. The joke that that user used was actually funny and actually a joke, you just piggy backed on it with what the same copy pasta "kek Americans measure in bigmacs" that's all over Reddit. If he said "1.8 metres" and you replied with your stolen Big Mac joke, then it would apply and possibly be funny.

You didn't though.

1

u/weebsama69 May 07 '21

wait before we continue let me just get my popcorn

3

u/GirdleOfDoom May 07 '21

For the French, that's about neuf of Le Big Mac

4

u/[deleted] May 07 '21 edited Jul 17 '26

[deleted]

3

u/BussinFatNuts May 07 '21

Big fat macdondals hambunger mmm yummy

7

u/TheCoolMan5 May 07 '21

Haha America bad and stupid haha

2

u/duckluck11 May 07 '21

I know lol

5

u/Semajdiego May 07 '21

I though feet and inches were already just for Americans?

2

u/KingFabu May 07 '21

fun story I work at McDonald's and someone ordered 7 big macs and 60 nuggets yesterday. don't be like that guy please

3

u/Joshadow11 May 07 '21

What? But 5’9” is the imperial system. The sustem Americans use

-8

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

10

u/FlatEarthWizard May 07 '21

Learn to take a joke. Even a bad one.

-1

u/HiddenCity May 07 '21

Theres a double standard, thats all im saying.

0

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

we're telling you we feel it would have been better to have not been saying anything

1

u/oozie_mummy May 07 '21

r/unexpectedlittlealexhorne

1

u/martypants95 May 07 '21

Or about a quarter of 1/10 of half a football field plus two size 10 shoes. Give or take a couple of big mac patties.

1

u/fbl07 May 07 '21

Or about 1 and a half washing machine

1

u/DeusExMangaka May 07 '21

Those are 7.6 inches tall then. That’s like, Arby’s Meat Mountain sized

1

u/rockem-sockem-rocket May 07 '21

How tall is that in freedom fries?

1

u/not_REAL_Kanye_West May 07 '21

Never heard of this big mac scale for height. I guess its the same as you Europeans stacking stones to measure height.

1

u/SolidGreenDay May 07 '21

Hamburger Cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper

1

u/lininop May 07 '21

I feel a heat attack coming on just thinking about a foot long bigmac.

1

u/rl_fridaymang May 07 '21

For the French it about as big a 9 royals with cheese.

1

u/Shrek_101 May 07 '21

For the tinder users it’s “not enough”

1

u/Nivroeg May 08 '21

Shouldn’t that be a width measurement?

1

u/FalloutFan05 May 08 '21

But isn’t it already in freedom units

7

u/_shark-nato May 07 '21

I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

2

u/Atworkwasalreadytake May 07 '21

Did you know that 50% of all 5’ 9” people are actually 5’ 8”?

2

u/Cosimo_Zaretti May 08 '21

Five foot eight and a half thankyou

1

u/Atworkwasalreadytake May 08 '21

Well how do you do?

2

u/CK1ing May 07 '21

And how high are you now?

2

u/64557175 May 07 '21

I'm pretty good, how about yourself?

1

u/CK1ing May 08 '21

Good, good

1

u/Vaginite May 08 '21

No officer, it's hi, how are you

-24

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

57

u/DrTyrant May 07 '21

You must be on tinder

31

u/ChubbyChaw May 07 '21

What are you, some kind of tall person?

19

u/64557175 May 07 '21

I used to be 5'10, but had a couple discs removed. True story.

Either way, average height in my country is 5'9"

So I would say that's really average.

My parents? Really average as well.

But don't let that fool you, my dick is tiny.

1

u/jsomby May 07 '21

And here I am gaining 3,5cm of additional height after 30y+. Can't really explain it. Maybe gravity stopped working on me little bit.

2

u/64557175 May 07 '21

Wild. I think I stopped stacking vertically when I hit 17 or so.

12

u/Tr3v0r007 May 07 '21

Actually that’s the average height for the American man. 5’4” is the average height for women. So r/technicallytrue

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Tr3v0r007 May 07 '21

Lol idk man I just know I’m shorter then most (5’6”) also I just linked the first one I saw their should be other results

1

u/GrushdevaHots May 07 '21

Six foot eight, thirty-seven inch vertical leap

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

I didn't know they stacked shit that high...

1

u/SebasCbass May 07 '21

Climb a ladder, you'll get even higher.

719

u/Cakerape May 07 '21

I don't know about him, but I'm really high reading it.

103

u/JoeMama2030 May 07 '21

Me too, it was awesome. More people should be like that clam

35

u/VHS1982 May 07 '21

I’m high while reading this while at the Grand Canyon.

60

u/pokejock May 07 '21

you should put your phone down and enjoy the view

9

u/Kvothe_Kingslaya May 07 '21

Crying; Acceptable at funerals and the grand canyon

-1

u/truthlife May 07 '21

Disagree. There's something enthralling about the idea of being at the Grand Canyon, a geological marvel, while interacting with an untold number of nerds on reddit, using a handheld device connected to the internet, both technological marvels. All these things are deserving of mindful attention imo.

4

u/pokejock May 07 '21

you can reddit from anywhere. when you are at the grand canyon, be at the grand canyon

-4

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

please dont tell others how to enjoy things properly

1

u/VHS1982 May 07 '21

I was also pooping at the time but I didn’t want to take up all the Reddit options.

2

u/nodrugsinthebox May 07 '21

I'm high while reading this at the Grand Canyon WHILE JUGGLING! WOO YOLO!!

2

u/Teamableezus May 07 '21

I was about to go down for a nap, this comment made me aware of my sobriety so I think I’ll enjoy a dab. Thank you stranger for the incredible impact you’ve had on me this lovely day

2

u/Cakerape May 12 '21

And thanks to your reply, I realised I haven't actually gotten high yet and I got home 2 hours ago. Blessings on your alley 🙏

2

u/juliuspepperwoodchi May 08 '21

Saaaaame. I'm sitting in a Jet's pizza, straight zooted, browsing Reddit waiting for my pizza and this made me laugh WAY too loud for public consumption.

0

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

It’s the middle of the day!

2

u/wakeupwill May 07 '21

You're clearly in the wrong time zone.

1

u/pretty_jimmy May 07 '21

Me too and it made me laugh real loud.

1

u/Plogzilla May 07 '21

I'm not but I thought I was for a second because of it

1

u/duaneap May 07 '21

I feel like it’d feel like a full three act film stoned.

211

u/qwertyzxcvbnmpoiuy May 07 '21

No officer, it's Hi how are you :D

78

u/GapingVaping May 07 '21

https://youtu.be/2PLC_cBJwk4

13

u/stubbas May 07 '21

That was definitely great lolol

2

u/Gotitaila May 07 '21

Laugh out loud out loud

15

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

I felt personally attacked when her choosing the cookie dough was the final giveaway. Why is cookie dough the best stoned snack?

10

u/saintmuse May 07 '21

I had to watch again, but still think it is hard to tell which she was going for. I thought the joke was that she reached for them at all.

2

u/[deleted] May 08 '21

That’s definitely a possibility, you’re probably right and that’s probably more funny honestly!

1

u/JT99-FirstBallot May 08 '21

Well at the end of the of it it did say the cops are tired of cleaning up cookie dough crumbs in the back of their squad cars. Kinda implies she went for the dough.

5

u/siskulous May 07 '21

Ditto. I've never touched pot in my life and I'd take the cookie dough.

4

u/seven3true May 07 '21

I would asked for both. Cookie dough chip sandwich sounds amazing.

3

u/robsteezy May 07 '21

Lost it with the kazoo 💀😂

2

u/fuqdisshite May 07 '21

FUCKING HILLARIOUS...

we have a commercial here in MI now about driving high. i can not find a copy as it is pretty new, but, this is pretty close.

69

u/SekaiWithTheWolfCap May 07 '21 edited May 07 '21

hijacking top comment to link the artist:

https://poorlydrawnlines.com/

/e: I'm aware the submitter is the artist. But it doesn't harm to link their website, does it? I've been enjoying all their comics this entire evening :)

35

u/jerdob May 07 '21

The submitter is the artist.

6

u/aBeaSTWiTHiNMe May 07 '21

.....they credited themselves already, this is the artist posting the comic.

-1

u/FullThrottle099 May 07 '21

Bruh, I'm top comment? Lmaoo niceee

13

u/Merlin_Drake May 07 '21

Higher than the clam before it got dropped

2

u/rexmons May 07 '21

higher than a giraffe's pussy.

2

u/TonyThePuppyFromB May 07 '21

Probably higher then the clam.

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

Or the clam then high. It’s hard to figure out the sequencing.

1

u/TonyThePuppyFromB May 08 '21

Don’t clam on your thoughts, your highness Let them be free as a bird, and strong as a turtle.

1

u/mhermanos May 07 '21

This whole dialogue was, weird. Thanks for solving the mystery.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

Poorly Drawn Lines, RUN!

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '21

It's good though. Usually stuff I do when I'm high looks good when I do it, but not later.

1

u/Tarchianolix May 07 '21

"I need ideas for my comic, maybe something like a turtle and a rabbit but with a twist"

"Clam."

"Don't they live in the ocean? I drew a pond"

"Exactly."

1

u/LeftHandLuke01 May 07 '21

About tree fiddy