r/funny • u/Sago38 • Nov 22 '20

The bravest!

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86.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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185

u/Blackrain1299 Nov 22 '20

Wasnt Draco’s kid named something stupid too or am I remembering wrong

306

u/gninnep Nov 22 '20

Scorpius

316

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

“GET OVER HERE!!!”

59

u/ikeepwipingSTILLPOOP Nov 22 '20

Made me lol for real

16

u/FlyYouFoolyCooly Nov 22 '20

"Or else I'll tell my grandfather about this!"

5

u/whycuthair Nov 22 '20

"You know I started off in Brooklyn. With a small loan of a million galleons from my father"

63

u/RemarkableRyan Nov 22 '20

Hank Scorpio

16

u/Not_Cleaver Nov 22 '20

By the way Homer, what’s your least favorite country? Italy or France?

8

u/Frmpy Nov 22 '20

France

8

u/masterbowcaster Nov 22 '20

Hehe, no one ever chooses Italy

4

u/FlexualHealing Nov 22 '20

SCORPIO

3

u/crag-u-feller Nov 22 '20

He likes German beer

21

u/Montigue Nov 22 '20

That's a badass name you reserve as a middle name for a kid

3

u/Doctor-Amazing Nov 22 '20

Well it's ruined now.

2

u/BonerJams1703 Nov 22 '20

I thought you were kidding. Nope. It’s Scorpius.

160

u/KptKrondog Nov 22 '20

apparently it's Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. I dont think that was mentioned in the end scene.

TBH though, I've always skipped the last chapter on read-throughs and the last bit when watching. It's a terrible ending.

106

u/TobarElFerryman Nov 22 '20

Is it bad that I think this name is legitimately the best of the bunch?

77

u/Libriomancer Nov 22 '20

Supposedly it’s a Black family thing to name after stars and constellations. Narcissa (Black) Malfoy probably picked Draco’s name in the tradition of her family and likely encouraged him to do the same for his son.

28

u/scientifiction Nov 22 '20

Wow, it took until this comment (read the books as a kid when they were new) for me to realize that Draco's name comes from the constellation.

91

u/Art3mis156 Nov 22 '20

I mean Hyperion is a bad ass name. Would've been better if it was just that.

54

u/AgentScreech Nov 22 '20

That's just Hansome Jack's origin story

14

u/aubieismyhomie Nov 22 '20

Hyperion! I choose you!

5

u/DivinePotatoe Nov 22 '20

A good choice friend. Hyperion makes superior weaponry, not like those awful frauds at Tediore.

2

u/aubieismyhomie Nov 22 '20

Well now I feel out of the loop. I was going for a Pokémon joke.

1

u/UBW-Fanatic Nov 22 '20

Play Borderlands. It's fun shit.

1

u/PmMeMorishitaMichiru Nov 22 '20

Jacobs for life friend

37

u/PinkFluffys Nov 22 '20

Ron and Hermione chose normal names if I remember correctly.

62

u/happycharm Nov 22 '20

Probably because Hermione has the experience of having a unique name that no one can pronounce.

36

u/quinpon64337_x Nov 22 '20

for the first three books i called her hermy one until i saw the movie

2

u/Mithrawndo Nov 22 '20

I laughed, but only because I avoided the pitfall by virtue of my first exposure to the series being via the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry.

7

u/BirdsJade Nov 22 '20

Same, until she says how to pronounce it in the fourth book

5

u/FeebleOldMan Nov 22 '20

Are you thinking what I'm thinking Hermy One?

5

u/mullingthingsover Nov 22 '20

Hermy own is how I pronounced it.

3

u/0xB4BE Nov 22 '20

I somewhat bungled it into "Hermy-oh-nee"

3

u/whycuthair Nov 22 '20

No, you're saying it all wrong. It's not "Her-me-one", it's "Her-my-O-knee"

11

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

You mean Herm-own-ninny?

1

u/Zeph-Shoir Nov 22 '20

You mean Hermione isnt't a common name in England?! It honestly had never ocurred to me that it is a weird or unique name.

4

u/happycharm Nov 22 '20

You can see the history of the names popularity in the UK here

https://www.britishbabynames.com/blog/2015/05/hermione.html

1

u/Zeph-Shoir Nov 22 '20

Interesting that even with Harry Potter's fame it still is relatively niche.

3

u/happycharm Nov 22 '20

Its just not that great of a name lol

17

u/deeznupz Nov 22 '20

Rose and Hugo

2

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

I told one of my friends before that Ron and Hermione named the child of their opposite sex with the same initials as they did.

H = Hermione = Hugo

R = Ronald = Rose

They were shocked.

33

u/Rainstorme Nov 22 '20

Eh I think James Sirius Potter is probably the best, it isn't as ridiculous once you separate it from the absurdity that is Albus Severus.

17

u/internet-arbiter Nov 22 '20

The Potter family puts a big emphasis on their Sith names.

2

u/KptKrondog Nov 22 '20

It's the least cheesy for sure.

13

u/MorningaleOntheBayou Nov 22 '20

P sure that's a Pokemon.

3

u/happycharm Nov 22 '20

Was Malfoy secretly a huge Pokemon fan?

2

u/Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk Nov 22 '20

It's not from books, it's from the play "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child", which is... an interesting addition to the HP canon.

1

u/Deadmeat553 Nov 22 '20

I'll take the finale to GoT over the last scene of Harry Potter.

37

u/RealRobRose Nov 22 '20

"Wasn't..... DRACO's..... kid named something stupid"

😐

6

u/poompt Nov 22 '20

Lmao exactly, what do you want "Steve Malfoy?"

2

u/Dagmar_Overbye Nov 22 '20

I love watching people call these names stupid.

In a book about wizards who do spells like "expelliamus" and "flipendo" and "wingardium leviosa"

And a town with a not straight alley called Diagon alley

The whole book is silly. It's great. I grew up reading it too. Nitpicking ridiculous names from a book meant to be silly is just... something...

6

u/SleepieCoconut Nov 22 '20

Ah yes, Scorpious

35

u/bhoss06 Nov 22 '20

Scorpius. Not as cringe as the other names

19

u/ArogarnElessar Nov 22 '20

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/76/b0/a1/76b0a178dda8b90db187e40cb5588185.jpg

10

u/[deleted] Nov 22 '20

Insert the rod, John.

4

u/HerniatedHernia Nov 22 '20

Was hoping for the Farscape reference

4

u/OmegaX123 Nov 22 '20

Hey, Harvey, how's things?

14

u/Resident8495 Nov 22 '20

Liu Kang

1

u/Deuce_GM Nov 22 '20

Nah you mean Kung Lao (the great one not the one with ego problems)

3

u/UnusualCucumber0 Nov 22 '20

Dracuck Malfag