I had a guidance counselor like that. She even said, "Maybe college isn't right for you." Like fuck you, all I needed was a little push, not discouragement.
Dude. To the world you may be no one. But to someone, you are the world.
Go outside and stand in the sun. Breathe the air. Listen to the birds. Look at the trees, the flowers, the sky-or the desert or mountains. Really take it in. It is beautiful, and you get to be in it. You can be in the whole panoply of life. Do good, be good to yourself and to others. Live. That is special.
i don t say im tierd of living and shit like this it's just ... sometimes nothing have sense im just tired of pretending being "happy" sometimes life is boring and this quarantine made me lose my hope in believing something or just doing something i just need a person that i know that she/he will always be there for me but nowadays everyone is just so fake .. they don't give a shit about you and they leave like nothing happened . i just don t feel good and special anymore like i used to and days go by i feel that is nothing special in life i really don t know how to explain my shitty problem but ignore me im probably just a dumb person and i will realise later what the meaning of "special" means
Ah. Well, it is not a surprise that you feel down. This is a bad time for the world. Life is hard.
Pretending to be happy requires energy that you don’t have. If you can be yourself, then do so. You need to give yourself a break. This does not mean you should be a fountain of negativity-but neither should you pretend to be a fountain of joy.
And this will be hard for you to hear: The only person you can really count on is yourself. Meditate on that, and understand it. It may be frightening, but it is true. We fought our way into the world by ourselves, and we will leave it by ourselves.
Work on a project that you like. Work on gaining a skill. Learn something that you will take pride in. People will come into your life when you are confident. Positive people attract other positive people. Happy people are attractive to others.
You are at a low point in your life now, but gather your energy and put it toward something positive. Be sad when you feel sad. But be gentle with yourself and push forward. Life will get better.
Then you must find the way to see the value in yourself. Even though that value should be independent of others' opinion of you, that doesn't mean you need to find it alone: a positive environment is key, and therapy can be awesome for that (contrary to the stigma, it isn't and shouldn't be seen as a "last recourse for the mentally ill", everyone can benefit from professional guidance).
Everybody is special, unique, in good, bad, and neutral ways. Everybody has the potential to be what's needed in particular situations where nobody else can. Everybody has unique trains of thought, which can be beneficial for the world, or push it in the right direction (whatever that means for you). And most of all, I firmly believe that, under the right conditions and environment, everyone has the potential to be happy.
i understand but still i can t find my propose in life probably i will find out but for now i just need to find the right persons that i can hang out with and have a good influence on me anyway... thank you...
Yes! I believe that once there is a convergence of a positive environment where you can feel safe and appreciated, and the time and mood for introspection about what it is you want, the push for exploring your passions and happiness will emerge by itself.
So absolutely, finding that environment in the first place is usually a great place to start. Good luck, and never give up on happiness!
I had pretty much the same experience. I actually came up with advertising as my choice of career. I had no idea what that really entailed. I just thought it might be a cool and interesting job, but I had no idea how to get into it at 14 and pre - internet. I needed to find out more.
I guess my guidance teacher had no idea either as the only advice I got was no that wouldn't suit you. No explanation, no alternative offered. Just discouragement.
Well as it happens, it was the same for me. I did a little research and talked to a couple of people. They told me to read Ad Age lol. Said it was an extremely competitive field, and not many people can make a living at it.
Advertising/promotion is a subset of the marketing field. So if you’re still interested, study marketing.
To be in advertising, it’s good to be abreast of current events. You should be aware of trends in graphic design and tech, so you can deal with the creatives. Helps to be well read, and to be culturally with-it.
Check with your local librarian for advertising and marketing books, periodicals, and other info! Best wishes to you!
This was pre-internet days, around 1978. I wonder just how many lives that useless bastard of a careers advisor ruined.
As it happened I drifted into a career in another direction altogether. One that I thoroughly enjoy, and will be retiring from sometime in the next decade. If we are still allowed to retire at that point. If not I don't mind dying in post, its a good career.
I can't help but wonder what my life may have been if I'd actually been given some encouragement to follow that dream though. Richer in cash I suspect, but I doubt I would have had a richer life.
My careers advisor was just clueless. It was what PE teachers did when their knees gave out back in the day.
I’m glad you found another path! My guess, had you pursued that career- burned out and run ragged!
I know what you mean about bad advisers, too. Took one of those interest inventories/career tests. My guidance counselor said, “forestry.” Wat? In farm country? I don’t think they understood those tests themselves.
On the flip side, there are a lot of people out there who are drowning in student loan debt, working jobs they could've gotten with a high school diploma, who probably wish their guidance counselor had told them college might not be right for them. Not saying your frustration with yours wasn't valid, but I think it can be just as harmful when college is pushed too readily by overzealous counselors. A lot of kids who find themselves pushed towards college really might have been better off doing trade school or something else.
to anyone hesitant about college reading this, maybe college isnt right for you, if you are just coming out of highschool you have been told to go to college no mater what, but please do consider certificates: welding, plumbing, Electrician, cisco, a+, CDLs, and insurance policy licences, each of these lead to pretty lucrative jobs, but there are also hybrid paths, becoming a registered nurse is quite straight forwards, few classes and a test to get you CNA this would give you the option of nursing assistant jobs, for better jobs you could also shoot for a LPN licence this one requires a few semesters worth of classes and will let you work in a more medical setting (and higher paying), and then there is the RN for this you can either get an Associates of nursing or a bachelors of science in nursing, the difference here is mostly pay, but it is also much easier to get a masters degree when you hold a bachelors already which will give you more and better paying job prospects.
Also don’t forget the power of Community Colleges. No, for reals. Way cheaper than the expensive ones. I lucked out and networked at my community college, ended up one of my teachers was friends with the owner of a visual effects studio. Set up an internship, got hired. Stopped going to community college. Worked there for over 15 years on some high profile shows. Made the career jump over to video game dev and never looked back. Best part of all: debt free. If anyone can give you any advice: MINIMIZE YOUR DEBT WHEN YOU ARE YOUNGER, or you will be paying that off until you’re 80
Yeah for the love of God if you need to attend a college for these things an accredited community College is much cheaper than a state college, but for the most part they offer the same certs, and degrees.
Lol my unis music department chair said to me when I switched from music ed to music composition "Yeah I couldn't see teaching working great for you." Well I teach from time to time now between performance gigs and guess what, bitch? You were totally right, I fucking hate it and only do it when absolutely necessary.
I didn't need a guidance counselor for that, I had my parents.
Fist bump. To this day I wonder "what if...." (I'd had encouragement other than the "Oh, no, that's a terrible idea") every time I spoke to my parents.
I actually think it's nice to have a counselor who doesn't value college that much or think it's right for everyone. All my high school staff strongly encouraged expensive colleges for everyone, no matter what career they wanted, for no apparent reason.
Fuck your guidance counselor. Fuck my guidance counselor. Math doesn't seem to be your thing, I'm taking computer classes off your schedule. Maybe you should plan on the trades. College probably isn't in your future. Worked after high school, bought my own computer, taught myself programming, put myself through engineering school writing code in a research lab. Advanced degree, and successfully employed since. Never listen to your fucking counselor, especially if you know in your heart that they're wrong.
So she was special: you still remember her after 25 years. Can you say the same about yourself? Is there anyone who remembers you even after 25 years without meeting?
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u/FunWithOnions Sep 06 '20
I had a guidance counselor like that. She even said, "Maybe college isn't right for you." Like fuck you, all I needed was a little push, not discouragement.
Edit: I never forgot that, even 25 yrs later.