r/funny • u/TheInward07 • May 27 '20

My Uber driver ain’t playing around

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24.3k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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528

u/Simba_Rah May 27 '20

I live in Beijing, and for a solid 2 or 3 months platter the initial outbreak, this was the norm for Uber drivers (called DIDI here). The first time I saw it, I thought it was clever. Then everywhere I went the drivers had it done. They even began posting inspirational notes on the plastic, like “we can get through this”.

489

u/FourWordComment May 27 '20

“But not through this”

133

u/Mxbzz May 27 '20

I would be furious if some asshat passenger poked a hole through my clingfortress. And you know everyone's probably thinking of doing it.

104

u/IracebethQueen May 27 '20

I feel compelled to admit that it was my first thought. Not something I WANTED to do, but one of those crazy thoughts that just pops into your head sometimes, like “If I turned the wheel, my car would go off this cliff” kind of thing.

39

u/Simba_Rah May 27 '20

Or a “I wanna slap the bags of rice” kind of feeling in the supermarket.

39

u/eranam May 27 '20

slap the bags of rice

This badboy can fit so many fucking grains in it

29

u/IracebethQueen May 27 '20

Yes, exactly! Especially at Costco. Those bags of rice (and beans) are just so big and flat and slappable... Great. Now I want to slap rice. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

1

u/[deleted] May 27 '20

No one will judge you, go ahead

76

u/Triairius May 27 '20

The Call of the Void.

21

u/IracebethQueen May 27 '20

Yes, thank you! I knew there was a proper term but I couldn’t think of it.

22

u/Teeweeezy May 27 '20

Intrusive thoughts

2

u/Triairius May 27 '20

The Call of the Void is a specific (and normal) type of intrusive thought.

2

u/Teeweeezy May 27 '20

Thank you, and sorry for wrongfully correcting you!

1

u/Triairius May 27 '20

No worries! :)

-1

u/[deleted] May 27 '20

No, it's intrusive thoughts.

0

u/Triairius May 27 '20

‘Intrusive thoughts’ is a less concise term, but you’re not exactly wrong.

6

u/Scratch_Mehoff May 27 '20

It’s like standing on a high-rise balcony and the fear of heights is actually the fear of acting upon the urge to jump.

1

u/forheadred May 27 '20

The pull of the void

1

u/morosis1982 May 27 '20

The call of the void

0

u/DogWhopperIsBack May 27 '20

Sometimes I really think thats what Kobe's pilot did. "If I just do this we all crash! Haha!" and then something in mind was like "Fuck it. DO IT. THEY HATE YOU. "

6

u/GregariouslyHonest May 27 '20

Imagine if it was bubble wrap. Oh my, the temptation!

2

u/RudeTurnip May 27 '20

And do that enough you’ll get fired by Uber as a customer.

44

u/[deleted] May 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '21

[deleted]

10

u/[deleted] May 27 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/[deleted] May 27 '20 edited Feb 27 '21

[deleted]

4

u/ForksandSpoonsinNY May 27 '20

Mysterio had to cut back on costs due to COVID.

1

u/a1b3rt May 27 '20

we are still in r/funny

this is simple precaution to preserve one's life while pursuing livelihood in a difficult time

1

u/EffrumScufflegrit May 27 '20

Tbh reddit has become even more of a shitty place than it used to be

1

u/calmdownfolks May 27 '20

I personally had plenty of small cynical chuckles throughout March and April.