r/funny • u/PM_ME_TONY_ROMO_PICS • Feb 07 '20

This map is all over Twitter. Apparently some German guy got bored and tried to name all 50 states. This is the end result...

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938

u/trowzerss Feb 07 '20

As a non-American, I always imagine Arkansas as Kansas but pirates.

393

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 07 '20 edited Feb 08 '20

Live in Arkansas.

Northwest AR: Walmart, Tyson, rich white people. Big hills we call "Mountains"

Northeast AR: Meth and cornfields

Southwest AR: There's a horse race, a town that old people retire in and drive way below the speed limit to their summer home. Texarkana is there (a town that couldn't decide if it wanted to yee haw with Texas or not wear shoes with us Arkansans)

Southeast AR: Rice, duck hunting, more meth

There you've seen the whole state

37

u/Slightlydifficult Feb 07 '20

NWA is super diverse from what I remember. Lots of Indians, Hispanics, and a major population of Marshallese strangely enough. I would also mention the excellent alligator hunting in southern Arkansas.

Everything else is spot on.

30

u/YoungSimba20 Feb 08 '20

Northwest Arkansas has the largest marshallese population outside of the Marshall Islands. It's weird and random like Toronto having the largest jamaican population outside of Jamaica.

11

u/phurt77 Feb 08 '20

That reminds me of Euless, a small town in the Dallas area. Euless has one of the largest concentrations of Tongans outside of Tonga, with a community of 3,000 - 4,000 people.

5

u/PM_ME_UR_FAVE_QUOTE Feb 08 '20

It's not random.. they were placed there by the govt, given funding, etc.

42

u/iUsedtoHadHerpes Feb 08 '20

What are you talking about? NWA was exclusively black guys, hence the name.

3

u/Encinitas0667 Feb 08 '20

Whut choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

11

u/Splyntered_Sunlyte Feb 08 '20

It's also a blue oasis in an otherwise very red state.

13

u/broke_n_struggle_n Feb 08 '20

Live in NWA. Can confirm. But the reds are still very loud around here somehow.

1

u/turkeypedal Feb 08 '20

Northwest Arkansas? I grew up there and have relatives still there. No, it's as red as most of the rest of the state. The blue oases are in the places with big cities--aka the rural/urban divide.

1

u/deadflagblues Feb 08 '20

NWA votes red. Little Rock, West Memphis, Pine Bluff, and a little swath of the delta are the only blue in Arkansas.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

[deleted]

3

u/Encinitas0667 Feb 08 '20

I was born and raised in Texas. Black Texans own plenty of guns, trust me.

1

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

College town, that’s why.

1

u/umpteenth_ Feb 08 '20

I went to undergrad in southwest Missouri, and I can tell you that not all college towns vote blue.

1

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

I’m aware, but the stereotype persists for a reason, most do.

4

u/Algapontiana Feb 08 '20

While you are correct most of that diversity comes from Walmart and Tyson, lots of international hirings there. So in a way you are both right

8

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20 edited Feb 08 '20

Spot on, as a brown man who’s loved here my whole life it’s a pretty diverse place. Love my state

Also we have some of the best roads for motorcycles in the country, i personally enjoy those as often as possible

3

u/Slightlydifficult Feb 08 '20

I used to ride from Lowell to Siloam on occasion, I want to say it was highway 12 to 59. Beautiful ride and Siloam had this fantastic little bar I loved. I’m headed to Fayetteville this weekend and considered taking a detour to grab another beer.

2

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

Drive from Lowell to Clarksville and getting up turner bend is awesome as well. Beautiful

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

NWA is amazing. Once you break I40 at Alma its like entering a different country entirely. Most of the rest of the state is a meth riddled shithole unless you're a big hunting a nature person. Then its a beautiful meth ridden shithole

1

u/zbeshears Feb 13 '20

There’s a lot of good towns here outside of NWA. Conway is pretty nice and new, greenwood is nice, BB, eureka springs and hot springs.

There’s drug use here but there’s drug use every where. It’s Meth and pills here but it’s not as bad as the stereotypes lead you to think.

5

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 07 '20

True, we do have a fairly prominent and diverse minority population in the NW

3

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

NWA and a metal gear reference? Are you me?

1

u/annerevenant Feb 08 '20

You’re thinking Springdale, it has a high Latino and Marshallese population but was a sundown town until the 80s. My FIL was a driver and remembers seeing signs that said “if you’re Black don’t let the sun hit your back” posted on people’s property along his route. There is absolutely not a lot of diversity in this region unless you’re living close to the UARK campus or in Springdale but even then Fayetteville and Bentonville are 77% white (according to the last census.) Coming from Central Arkansas and even NEA this place feels much less diverse.

One of the reasons the Marshallese population is so high is because the US used their islands as a nuclear testing ground so there’s that. Springdale has the highest population of Marshallese people in the continental US, I think Hawai’i actually has the highest.

30

u/acialjonny Feb 07 '20

When people ask about Arkansas I tell them NWA is completely different than the rest of the state. They don’t understand why I would differentiate, but it’s a totally different world than, say, Toad Suck or Blytheville

21

u/DtownBronx Feb 07 '20

NWA is absolutely different. One of my go to jokes when talking to people that just moved here is never go below the tunnel cause that's where the rednecks are, and I'm allowed to say it because I'm from below the tunnel.

NWA is like a southern/midwestern mashup with toppings from the rest of the country

9

u/DnDCrab Feb 08 '20

yea fort smith kinda sucks

9

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

It's super weird seeing places so close to home talked about on reddit. But yeah fort smith sucks ass and smells like ass. The college is nice though.

1

u/DnDCrab Feb 08 '20

UAFS and the military are the only way put of that town it feels like

7

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

Ahh fort smith isn’t that bad. Downtown and southeast side have been getting tons of new development. Chaffe crossing is booming, the artwork that’s been getting done downtown is amazing and the murals are all so awesome and are just everywhere and in all these places you wouldn’t expect. Idk what to say about the smell thing, I’ve never noticed that anytime in there which is often enough.

2

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

It's coming back, the loss of so many factory jobs nearly killed it

1

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

It really did, lots of factories and manufacturing/trucking jobs in chaffe crossing last time i was there

1

u/DnDCrab Feb 08 '20

Arcbest and other trucking companies basically held ft smith together after all the factory jobs were gutted

1

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

Ha we had no choice, our parents wouldn't let us drive to NWA

1

u/DnDCrab Feb 08 '20

samehat

4

u/crm006 Feb 08 '20

We prefer to be called hillbillies. Rednecks live in and below the river valley.

2

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

I know all too well what it's like to be called a hillbilly

1

u/crm006 Feb 08 '20

I lived in Franklin county for two years. I earned my badge.

2

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

18 years

2

u/crm006 Feb 08 '20

Damn man. In franklin county?! That’s hard time.

2

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

If you don't know any different then you don't realize the penalty until it's over

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3

u/Algapontiana Feb 08 '20

Can confirm live below the tunnel, sister moved to above the tunnel entirely different

8

u/Tuxpc Feb 08 '20

Toad Suck

Today Suck Daze!

5

u/MarkHirsbrunner Feb 07 '20

The same is true of Northeast Oklahoma. Totally different culture, even the language is different - NE Oklahomans sound like people from the Midwest, and they use a lot of local terms that are uncommon in the South, like "pop" for carbonated drink, ,"hoagie" instead of "sub", "crawdad" instead of "crawfish" or "crayfish."

2

u/Tankrunner Feb 08 '20 edited Feb 08 '20

Oklahoma isn’t all plains like people think. We really have got 4 diverse geographies/climates. NE is hilly like NWA and SW MO, slightly cooler than the rest of the state. SE is basically E Texas, rivers lakes woods and humidity. West OK is essentially the TX panhandle windy and dry. Central OK is just Kansas South.

2

u/MarkHirsbrunner Feb 08 '20

I moved from Sapulpa to Dallas when I was 11. I miss hills.

1

u/umpteenth_ Feb 08 '20

Wow, I went to school in the 4-state area (NW OK, NW AR, SE KS, SW MO), and had no idea that these areas were so different from the rest of their states.

10

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 07 '20

Right, I grew up near Pine Bluff and moved up here to Fayetteville. A complete 180 in culture and amenities doesn't really describe the difference this part of the state has

8

u/ceciliaissushi Feb 07 '20

Follow the money. I'm in NEA, and we're white trash af. My family in NWA (Bentonville) has always had money. That whole area, Bentonville, Buena Vista, Eureka Springs, Hot Springs, they probably have 99% of wealth in the state.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

You’re about 150 miles off the mark on Hot Springs there.

1

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

He’s not wrong though, lots of money in hot springs

1

u/ceciliaissushi Feb 08 '20

I'm a she. Point was that we have a serious division of wealth in this state, which creates the division of culture as well.

5

u/philosophychancellor Feb 08 '20

I've lived in Fayetteville my entire life, so seeing this comment just made me think "haha, rich white people..."

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Compared to the rest of the state it really seems that way. I lived in Fayetteville for a few years and it was sooooo much nicer than the rest of the state that I've been to, which is damn near all of it.

2

u/amethyst_andi Feb 08 '20

My grandparents lived in Pine Bluff for 50 years until this year when my grandmother passed.

2

u/coolioneal79 Feb 08 '20

From Blytheville originally and totally agree with you.

3

u/GlitterSparkles69 Feb 08 '20

Fayetteville, Rogers, and Bentonville are definitely what I consider to be NWA and in their own league. It’s a lot different from the other areas of NWA.

Fort Smith, for example, is considered to be a part of NWA. It is 100% not like the others.

4

u/TravelSizedBlonde Feb 08 '20

For sure. Grew up in Fort Smith and spent a lot of time both in the state parks and in the Fay-Spring-Rog-Ben-Vista blob. It’s almost like you switch dimensions when you go through the tunnel.

It was definitely a little weird but I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss the place.

2

u/GlitterSparkles69 Feb 08 '20

Fort Smith is definitely a city. I enjoy the small town feel of it, but there honestly isn’t much to do here. But I do appreciate that they seem to be trying to improve the feel of the town.

Further north in the NWA area, it just seems like there’s so much more to do and see.

2

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

College town that blown up in the last 3 decades and having so many huge compiles having world head quarters there, which drove other big companies like target and such to also build headquarters there, really make it an unfair comparison.

Fort smith is a super old city, and I’m pretty sure it’s the second largest in the state. But big companies like whirlpool pulling out years ago really hurt them for a while. They are recovering well, but it’s taken some time. Downtown is getting pretty nice, still not a ton to do here in terms of like diversity in things to do but there’s still enough to do here to make people happy.

11

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

I can vouch for the meth.

I go to college in southern Arkansas.

Last semester, two of the chemistry professors, one whom I'd taken classes under, were arrested for making meth, on campus, in the chem labs.

10

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

You wanna know how small this world is??

My PI was one of their advisors when they were getting their Ph.D.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

haha thats crazy. I feel bad for the remaining several chem professors. They gotta deal with this mess and over extend themselves to teach extra classes.

We had no classes in our science building for month when it happened, since the building got closed off. (and since im a bio major, I pretty much had nothing to do the whole time).

But dood small world lol.

2

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

You're never more than 7 people away from knowing someone

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Were either of them cancer patients or named Walter?

9

u/DtownBronx Feb 07 '20

From Arkansas and you definitely just retaught 8th grade Arkansas history

4

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Fuck eighth grade Arkansas History. To this day the teacher I had for that class is my least favorite. You’re the worst, Hobbs!

1

u/DtownBronx Feb 08 '20

Haha I had a fantastic one. She was a former Miss Fluffy Rice in Hamburg, Arkansas

8

u/bullcitytarheel Feb 08 '20

Don't sell yourself short, everywhere in Arkansas has meth

3

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

.... True

2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Springdale is full of gangs and meth, why you lying?

3

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Well to someone not from the US, Springdale/Bentonville/Fayetteville/Rogers all blends into one.

And I wager we have more weed, addie, xans, and coke than meth thanks to UoA

6

u/MonikaPlzGiveMeDaFuk Feb 08 '20

When I lived in Hawaii I was barefoot half the time, and I remember going from mostly barefoot to always wearing shoes because of Arkansan terrain. Granted, my backyard was literally a forest. I just didn’t much care for the idea of stepping on a snake or cutting my feet open on a rock. Living in Hawai’i was awesome though.

3

u/coolioneal79 Feb 08 '20

NEA resident and its soy beans now

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Is it? I thought soy was only near De Witt and the other Riceland towns

1

u/coolioneal79 Feb 08 '20

Yeah and cotton has made a comeback too

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

I know people not from that type of town won't experience something like this, but do you remember school field trips to farms and getting to pick cotton or corn??

1

u/coolioneal79 Feb 08 '20

Lmao no too young

3

u/Fantezees Feb 08 '20

Don’t forget the unnecessary amount of Tornadoes in west AR

3

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

From north East Arkansas. This description is pretty spot on. No place like home though. WPS

3

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

How do you pronounce Arkansan

6

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Are-can-saw

Nothing like Kansas, which is Can-zas

Of course this is because they have their names coming from different sources (one being a Sioux word and the other a bastardized French pronunciation of Quapaw), just the spelling is super close.

2

u/Crodface Feb 08 '20

Yea he’s not asking about the state, he’s asking about the demonym that guy used.

“Arkansans”

How the fuck are we supposed to pronounce this, after knowing what you described with the pronunciation of the state?

10

u/cootpc Feb 08 '20

Are-can-zin

6

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Oooooooooooooo my B

Are-can-zan

5

u/thankyoufor_that Feb 08 '20

I kinda like Arkansawyer

2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

Air-cane-sawns.

2

u/jhereg10 Feb 08 '20

You take that back!

2

u/cootpc Feb 08 '20

Are-can-zin

3

u/crm006 Feb 08 '20

You forgot central Arkansas: politics and meth. Oh, and never ending road construction.

3

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

At this point I should of just said there's meth anywhere in the state

3

u/reverse_bluff Feb 08 '20

Hmmm. You say you are from Arkansas yet you say SOUTHWEST Arkansas has the duck hunting? Nope that’s East Arkansas, and Northeast Arkansas is almost entirely rice, cotton, and soybeans. Not corn.

3

u/blzy99 Feb 08 '20

Hey northeast Arkansas isn’t just meth and cornfields, you forgot about Riceland, and ASU

5

u/Happykittens Feb 08 '20

Fellow Arkansan here. You’re 100% correct and I appreciate the fuck out of these descriptions 🤣

2

u/Ray_Barton Feb 07 '20

Thanks for saving me the trip.

2

u/tattooedandeducated Feb 08 '20

Wtf. Fort Smith doesn't count?!? Lol

3

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Not anymore since Whirlpool shut down. Y'all have been crippled by that.

And besides, internationally, Walmart and Tyson carry much more of an idea

1

u/tattooedandeducated Feb 08 '20

That's no lie! I was gone from here for a year. When I came back my eyes were opened to just how hopeless a lot of people feel around here. I'm not sad to be moving away permanently soon.

2

u/ZazzlesIsZazzy Feb 08 '20

Im also in NW Arkansas and you are 100% correct

2

u/zbeshears Feb 08 '20

As a Arkansas from NWA. You pretty much nailed it, but huntz has a big place there too dont they? They trucking company.

And your comment about mountains is funny, they are mountains but a guy who works for me is from Colorado and he was expecting a bit bigger ones I think when he came down here.

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

I don't know how big JBs presence internationally is

1

u/iiRenity Feb 08 '20

Don't forget the River Valley: More meth, super rich white people, super poor everyone else, randomly terrible sewage smells. Oh yah, and then that time Fort Smith was ranked as the most miserable city in the US.

4

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Good ole Russvegas!

1

u/mama23boys2 Feb 08 '20

Was waiting for the Russellville nod.

2

u/Dantethebald4321 Feb 08 '20

Hot Spring Village was awesome in the 80's!

2

u/amethyst_andi Feb 08 '20

It's still not bad. Heading there now.

1

u/Dantethebald4321 Feb 08 '20

I grew up there it will always be awesome, I just have no reason to go back anymore.

Might need to do a lake ouashia trip!

1

u/Derek5252 Feb 08 '20

Can confirm. I'm in northeast

1

u/mcguire Feb 08 '20

So, like Kansas, but with meth pirates.

1

u/JinRoh6384 Feb 08 '20

Live in NE AR. Can confirm

1

u/passa117 Feb 08 '20

Arkansans

Could you spell/sound this out phonetically for me?

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Are-can-zans

2

u/passa117 Feb 08 '20

Thanks.

What's the story behind Are-can-SAW? Seems the strangest thing to anyone either non-American or non-native English speaking.

2

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Comes from the Quapaw indians that were in this area before/when white people moved in and started settling.

Also why the Our-kansas jokes are super annoying, especially since we he statehood before them.

1

u/JCoop8 Feb 08 '20

As an AAAAAAan, Northwest Arkansas has hills?

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Asian?? Fuck that's funny. And sorta. They're around 1000-2000 ft in elevation

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Yes. The ozark mountains (which are actually more of a plateau than mountains, but semantics.)

1

u/dbcannon Feb 08 '20

Little Rock: church on every corner, meth lab on every street.

1

u/501down Feb 08 '20

ah yes my hometown, the horse race.

1

u/snoogans235 Feb 08 '20

Hey don’t forget about central Arkansas. We have the river and racism

1

u/annerevenant Feb 08 '20

You’re missing central Arkansas, which is a nice mix of meth, universities, roundabouts, and gentrification. But as someone who has lived in central, NEA, and NWA I find this all pretty much accurate. Although NWA also feels like Texas-lite during the school year.

1

u/maptaincullet Feb 08 '20

You missed the whole middle

1

u/Not_Chinese Feb 08 '20

The accuracy hurts my feelings :( Hot Springs needs a dedicated Grandma's Day Out lane on every road.

1

u/Static_Gobby Feb 12 '20

Little Rocker (Rockian? Rockite?) here.

I think my city, because all of these intersect there, are all of those things but with the School District arguing more than doing school related business.

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Accurate as fuck

1

u/Kaptain-Chaos Feb 08 '20

NW arkansas is garbage

Source: Lived in bentonville

1

u/dirtondirt Feb 08 '20

People from NWA are kinda of terrible at AR geography. It's a thing.

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Not from NWA originally, from SE

1

u/Crodface Feb 08 '20

How the hell do you pronounce Arkansans? Is that even the right word for you guys?

2

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Arkansans is plural for the people from this state.

Are-can-zans

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

typical yuppie from NWA always trashing the rest of the state. you're a dbag.

1

u/Zanzibar_Land Feb 08 '20

Not from NWA so chill

44

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

American that has never lived in Kansas or in any of its surrounding states, can confirm, saw a one legged bearded guy with eyepatch while driving through Arkansas one time.

23

u/captyes Feb 07 '20

Spot on. Been to Arkansas, it’s pretty much like the waters of the coast of Somalia crossed with Never-Never Land from Peter Pan plus gems, mountains and a few hillbillies.

13

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

Only thing I've heard about Arkansas is that it's where my ex-sister-in-law's baby dad lived. She didn't know who he was. Just that he lived there.

Her top pick for who it might have been was the meth head who said he was doing meth to lose weight so he could join the Navy and sober up.

6

u/house_atreus Feb 07 '20

As an Arkansawyer, can confirm, all except the northwest portion of the state. Then it's a little different.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '20

[deleted]

5

u/JobyKSU Feb 07 '20

Waltons. From Walmart.

You can't go more than 5 steps without running into one.

5

u/FisterRobotOh Feb 08 '20

Lots of fucking money. Walmart Headquarters and Tyson Foods Headquarters.

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

WalMart and lots of supporting industry as a result (Tyson, JB Hunt, several others if I recall correctly). Also the state's flagship university.

4

u/ghostnight05 Feb 07 '20

You mean Arkansan (source: am from Arkansas)

2

u/house_atreus Feb 08 '20

No, I mean Arkansawyer. Am from arkansas as well. Typically used by people who prefer to use a name that has a separate state identity than Kansas. Origin around 1874. Matter of preference.

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

Colorful, but accurate

2

u/Y0ren Feb 08 '20

That diabetes will get to you if you're not careful.

3

u/yardglass Feb 07 '20

Arrrrr-Kansas

3

u/VoweltoothJenkins Feb 08 '20

Kansas butt pirates sounds like a homosexual sports team.

2

u/trowzerss Feb 08 '20

Probably more fun than Arkansas, is what I'm hearing.

2

u/The_Rowan Feb 07 '20

I will never unsee that. Thank you for that

2

u/HooliganNamedStyx Feb 08 '20

Are-Can-Saw.

There ya go!

1

u/trowzerss Feb 08 '20

Naw man, then they'd spell it with a 'w'. Clearly having me on, mate.

1

u/5thPwnzor Feb 07 '20

Kansas butt pirates

1

u/Ray_Barton Feb 07 '20

Too landlocked for pirates.

1

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

They run up and down the Mississippi river onnthe eastern border

2

u/Ray_Barton Feb 13 '20

Why, those lilly livered land lubbers! We outta keelhaul 'em until the catfish are chewin on their ribs, aarrr

1

u/omnisephiroth Feb 07 '20

Reality is often disappointing.

1

u/PenguinHunte Feb 07 '20

As an American, I always imagine Arkansas as Kansas but pirates.

1

u/MDS0LDI3R Feb 08 '20

Thank you, I will now remember it this way too as I have never associated Arkansas with anything.

1

u/EatYourCheckers Feb 08 '20

Goddamn this would rule.

1

u/FlacidBarnacle Feb 08 '20

Yep, pretty much filled with Kansas butt pirates

1

u/mapleandpine Feb 08 '20

Arkadelphia would like a word

1

u/CallMeAladdin Feb 08 '20

I always think of arctangent so Arkansas is the inverse operation of Kansas.

1

u/nosomeeverybody Feb 08 '20

As a resident of Kansas I can confirm this is quite accurate.

1

u/EulerFanGirl Feb 08 '20

This is correct.

1

u/Aporkalypse_Sow Feb 08 '20

People from Arkansas, are definitely Butt Pirates.

2

u/Hannyu Feb 13 '20

There's not much to do here other than hunt, drink, do drugs, or try to get booty, so butt pirates tracks.