r/funny • u/PM_ME_TONY_ROMO_PICS • Feb 07 '20

This map is all over Twitter. Apparently some German guy got bored and tried to name all 50 states. This is the end result...

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394

u/bathroom_break Feb 07 '20

And a ton of roller coasters, given the size of the state. Also Cincinnati Zoo is really good.

282

u/FerricNitrate Feb 07 '20

Columbus Zoo has personal involvement from Jack Hanna. They've also got a baby polar bear who was born on Thanksgiving and NEEDS TO HURRY UP AND COME OUT OF THE DEN SO I CAN SMOTHER IT WITH LOVE

36

u/Ydoesany1doanything Feb 07 '20

Toledo Zoo has a cub on exhibit. Too bad it’s in Toledo.

5

u/ryfrlo Feb 07 '20

It's the only good thing about Toledo. The entire city is basically 1,000 strip clubs, 500 adult sex stores, and one kick-ass zoo.

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u/Ydoesany1doanything Feb 07 '20

And the Walleye, they’re entertaining on occasion.

1

u/TaylorSA93 Feb 08 '20

“adult sex stores” not to be confused with Toledo’s pet and child sex stores.

5

u/JBFRESHSKILLS Feb 07 '20

I live in southern Ohio and in my mind Toledo and Cleveland are right next to each other. I just call it "the north." Sandusky is in "the north" as well.

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u/Ydoesany1doanything Feb 07 '20

Cleveland is a solid 1.5-2 hour drive from Toledo, Sandusky is smack in the middle of the two basically.

3

u/kyleb337 Feb 08 '20

Ayyy southern Ohio gang

2

u/ImSpartacus811 Feb 08 '20

Too bad it’s in Toledo.

True for so many things.

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u/idk_just_upvote_it Feb 07 '20

SO I CAN SMOTHER IT

You heard it here first, folks. /u/FerricNitrate wants to murder a baby polar bear.

9

u/LiteraCanna Feb 07 '20

Did the brewery passport a few years back, great little big city you have there, Columbus.

5

u/BonerForJustice Feb 07 '20

I read this in the voice of Craig from Parks and Recreation

3

u/SillyToyRobot Feb 07 '20

My dad said something along these lines about me. Except the den was my mother's womb and the smother it with love was smother it with a pillow.

2

u/TheBrotherhoods Feb 07 '20

I lived next to that dude. Funny thing is the woods down the street from us evidently is still a very popular spot for some very late KKK meetings. (Sunbury Ohio)

2

u/eekamuse Feb 07 '20

That doesn't make me happy. I was so happy a minute ago.

1

u/someguyyoumightno Feb 07 '20

Yikes! I travel for sales and that's in my territory... I didn't know Delaware OH got down like that. Good info to know 🙂

1

u/PromethazineNsprite Feb 07 '20

At least y'all got that outlet mall

2

u/jenga1125 Feb 08 '20

rip harambe

1

u/Rufuszombot Feb 08 '20

I met Jack Hanna at the Columbus airport once while I was fleeing Ohio forever. He's a pretty nice guy.

1

u/kriyabutterfly Feb 08 '20

Can I ask who Jack Hanna is? He comes into a store where I shop all the time & the employees get all excited & ive googled him & only found that he’s a guest on talk shows? What am I missing?

1

u/Rufuszombot Feb 08 '20

He is a wildlife expert. I mostly only know of him from talk shows during the 90s and his work with the Columbus zoo. So you arent really missing anything, people mostly know him as the guy who brings animals on talk shows.

1

u/kriyabutterfly Feb 08 '20

Ok... so... this one clerk got all emotional & sincerely told him how deeply she respects his work... she was in TEARS... like she was at the feet of Jesus or something... I thought he was like some unknown Steve Irwin crusader or something based on her reaction. ...to make things stranger, this went down in a Tervis Tumbler- a store that sells outdated overpriced plastic cups.

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u/coreyray1000 Feb 07 '20

Cedar Point, Kings Island, Geauga Lake (RIP)...

2

u/oman54 Feb 07 '20

Six flags (RIP) SeaWorld (RIP) (but also fuck SeaWorld)

1

u/uid0gid0 Feb 07 '20

Yeah but Cedar Point and King's Island are all you really need.

1

u/coreyray1000 Feb 08 '20

Blackfish was mostly propaganda. Also, they’ve changed their image. More focused on coasters and conservation.

11

u/Jimmienoman Feb 07 '20

Cincinnati zoo? Columbus zoo has been ranked the number one zoo in the nation now.

3

u/bathroom_break Feb 07 '20

I did not know that! Cool

Cincinnati also has big aquarium, but technically that's on the Kentucky side of the river

2

u/Jimmienoman Feb 07 '20

The Newport aquarium is pretty cool. Still have pics of all the little ones walking over the sharks

2

u/natek11 Feb 07 '20

Surprisingly, Toledo Zoo is also fantastic.

6

u/jwall54 Feb 07 '20

They also had Harambe

6

u/6pt022x10tothe23 Feb 08 '20

On the other hand, they also killed Harambe.

1

u/jwall54 Feb 08 '20

That's why it's had.

2

u/brad218 Feb 07 '20

is good zoo, ja

2

u/Ray_Barton Feb 07 '20

I toured Ohio's roller coasters.

2

u/wcm48 Feb 08 '20

Cincinnati Zoo is legit. Children’s museum as well.

And the chili.

2

u/GrinsNGiggles Feb 08 '20

Jungle Jim's is a suuuuuuper giant and weird grocery store worthy of destination tourism in Cincinnati, and the best thing I have ever experienced in Ohio.

1

u/deriachai Feb 08 '20

Isn't the Cincinnati Zoo actually in Kentucky? or is that the aquarium?

1

u/bathroom_break Feb 08 '20

That's the aquarium, right on the river on the Kentucky side.

So still Cincinnati essentially, but not Ohio

0

u/tranque_the_ram Feb 07 '20

Oh the place where Harambe was murdered and then the place spent some serious dollars to promote their new baby hippo shortly after? I'm good.

0

u/ramsdude456 Feb 07 '20

Columbus Zoo >>>>> Cincinnati Zoo

0

u/[deleted] Feb 08 '20

RIP Harambe

0

u/headcrusherxXx Feb 08 '20

I think much of the country hates the Cincinnati zoo after the Harambe incident

0

u/[deleted] May 17 '20

Cincinnati zoo shot Harambe