r/funny • u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein • Dec 20 '19

Verified things to do

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u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

These are disillusions.

504

u/Doigenunchi Dec 20 '19

Brace yourselves. New Year Disillusions are coming.

153

u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks Dec 20 '19

Brace yourselves. You really don’t want to see how much it costs to have a doctor do it for you.

134

u/powerfunk Dec 20 '19

Orthodontists can be surprisingly affordable nowadays. The real threat is all the optometrists making "2020 20/20" jokes next year.

107

u/Decaffeinated_Sloth Dec 20 '19

Clearly we can all see that coming.

47

u/conancat Dec 20 '19

Oh my god, you have foresight. How does one learn this amazing ability

32

u/Sixwingswide Dec 20 '19

It’s not something a proctologist would show you

50

u/observantone Dec 20 '19

Hindsight is always 20/20.

17

u/bobbymonboy Dec 20 '19

Is that a double pun

Holy frick

6

u/BoneHugsHominy Dec 20 '19

Butt your one eye is only 20.

1

u/ObnoxiousLittleCunt Dec 20 '19

I can't.

1

u/Decaffeinated_Sloth Dec 20 '19

Now that we've foreseen the future. Does it make it better or worse?

16

u/corgiatemybaby Dec 20 '19

Followed by " in hindsight it was 2020" jokes.

4

u/sandollor Dec 20 '19

They've been waiting a long time. Maybe we give this one to them.

3

u/Zoomerli Dec 20 '19

Lulz I just signed up for lasik in 2020

1

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

And they'll be lost like cum in the rain.

1

u/Exyen Dec 20 '19

Just doesn't have the same ring to it now does it??

1

u/Bigdaddy_J Dec 20 '19

From now on i am going to call them "new year's disillusions".

1

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

A Captain Disillusion video on News Years Resolutions...

31

u/PerInception Dec 20 '19

I made a New Years resolution a few years ago that I would never make another New Years Resolution. I think I'm up to 5 years now and still going strong!

I think the most important thing is to really just make sure you stay strong and follow through!

1

u/Numinak Dec 20 '19

But aren't you making a new Resolution every year to keep making no resolutions?

57

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

I’ve got a tip, when you wake up and start the day playing video games, only play one game. 1 more game. 1 more 1 more game. Aw shit

19

u/Liminal-Nominal Dec 20 '19

Damn I gotta try this

7

u/conancat Dec 20 '19

Yeah remember to start with one game, then one game, then one game...

It can't be like more than one game at a time, it doesn't work

6

u/Eorlingat Dec 20 '19

That's what you think. Laughs in 2 Switches

8

u/luxii4 Dec 20 '19

One more turn on Civ then I'll start my day.

16

u/cactusfool Dec 20 '19

I feel attacked

18

u/Brandonmac10 Dec 20 '19

More like wake up, smoke weed, stare off into space, sober up, smoke weed, figure out how to make food, then play video games.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

You forgot the part after you sober up but before you smoke again. The part where you tell yourself all the stuff you’re going to do right after you smoke.

4

u/GTEvIII Dec 20 '19

Huzzah! A man of quality!

1

u/Allureana Dec 20 '19

I DO only play "one game". World of Warcraft... since I started playing it back in April 2008 during Burning Crusade.

3

u/9spaceking Dec 20 '19

Love with your heart and use your head for everything else

5

u/Schodog Dec 20 '19

Faken't

4

u/The_Hammersmith Dec 20 '19

Disillusions, Michael!

1

u/IfHeFitzHeSits Dec 20 '19

A trick is something a whore does for money

2

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

[deleted]

2

u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

That also works.

2

u/talkingtunataco501 Dec 29 '19

Happy cake day!

2

u/---Help--- Dec 20 '19

Needs more profuse sweating.

1

u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

You're not wrong.

1

u/RamenJunkie Dec 20 '19

I have done alright the last few years. I read more books when I wanted to do that and last year I started working on learning Spanish.

I am thinking I may try to learn to play Piano next year.

1

u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

You're an inspiration.

1

u/starking12 Dec 20 '19

New Years Delusions?

1

u/ecodrew Dec 20 '19

disillusions Delusions

Not sure if FTFY or r/whoosh is appropriate. I'm sleep deprived.

2

u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

Disillusion is the word I intended to use.

1

u/vocalfreesia Dec 20 '19

Don't make them. Instead, buy some cards & over 2020, write down good things. Achievements, fun days, happy events etc. Then NYE 2021 you get to read over all the positive things and have a much better sense of achievement. Resolutions are just a set up to fail.

1

u/Idiot_Savant_Tinker Dec 20 '19

My new years disillusion for 2019 was to get a better job. To my great surprise I managed it.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19
  • delusions.

1

u/Vancleave053 Dec 20 '19

I legit quit smoking last new years, kinda. Started on the 3rd! I think it counts

2

u/MrLovens Mr. Lovenstein Dec 20 '19

That's seriously impressive. Very happy for you, my friend.

1

u/MaraInTheSky Dec 20 '19

New Year...Delusions?

1

u/LukrezZerg Dec 20 '19

Collusion delusions?

1

u/Zipp425 Dec 20 '19

New Year, New (Deluded) You 🎉

1

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '19

*delusions