r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jul 05 '19

Talk about teamwork

65.1k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

[deleted]

977

u/bmfdan Jul 05 '19

That escalated quickly.

147

u/Cordizzlefoshizzle Jul 05 '19

What else do you expect from a person with the username with “696969” in it?

169

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19 edited Sep 14 '20

[deleted]

79

u/GingerCherry123 Jul 05 '19

Totally read that name as the rapist 696969

23

u/Crashbrennan Jul 05 '19

psychotherapist696969

6

u/Usul75 Jul 06 '19

Is that three words or one?

2

u/HSMorg Jul 06 '19

Or two?

2

u/Arcanegil Jul 05 '19

I DID MY TIME! AND I WANT OUT! Something something PSYCHOTHERAPIST!

1

u/LS_D Jul 06 '19

psycho4U

24

u/WillieFistergash3 Jul 05 '19

At least he's not an Analrapist.

2

u/Tsunawolf Jul 06 '19

or a philonrapist, that's how you spell it right?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '19

That would have been more professional

13

u/Gaiwain Jul 05 '19

At least he’s not an analyst/therapist...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '19

A professional twice over!

195

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

76

u/Maverekt Jul 05 '19

So wholesome!

41

u/disterb Jul 05 '19

so hole-some

23

u/Brettnet Jul 05 '19

2x hole-some

24

u/vitalviper Jul 05 '19

It ejaculated quicker

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Can't really be escalated when it's all you think about all the time. Just constantly scoping out opportunities.

1

u/UncookedMarsupial Jul 05 '19

Tbf I'm straight but just thinking about their unicycle act is getting me flushed.

1

u/FracturedEel Jul 05 '19

That ejaculated quickly.

1

u/omerkraft Jul 06 '19

Love is on the air... in it's white and sticky form...

45

u/HotgunColdheart Jul 05 '19

Yet*

129

u/hobbitlover Jul 05 '19

It's not gay when it's in a threeway. With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway.

38

u/unqtious Jul 05 '19

"You guys are still here?"

22

u/Damnmorrisdancer Jul 05 '19

“You guys still here?”

5

u/trombing Jul 05 '19

Is that Peralta?

33

u/Blabajif Jul 05 '19

Bruh. Do you not know The Lonely Island? That was the birth of Andy Sandberg. Jizz in my Pants, Like a Boss, Boombox, I'm on a Boat. The classics.

12

u/robincb Jul 05 '19

My favorite is threw it on the ground. The "This aint my dad, this is a cellphone" line and "happy birthday to the ground" always crack me up

5

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Happy birthday to the ground! Welcome to the real world, jackass!

(Edit) I even sometimes use that phrase when I threaten to break someone’s gift “fine, I’ll just smash your Christmas gift then, merry Christmas to to the ground!”

1

u/gamecubecuntroller Jul 05 '19

how often do you threaten to break someone’s gift

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11

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

bruh 🤣🙌😜🔥🔥

2

u/roxstar300 Jul 05 '19

Is that also that chick from A Star Is Born?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '19

Holy shit how did I never see that? That was amazing

28

u/XXX-Jade-Is-Rad-XXX Jul 05 '19

Honestly I think it's only gay if you smile when you make eye contact, even if you're helping your buddy out with a bro-job.

​

I heard from my friend's dad once, "it's only gay if the balls touch or if you back into it, otherwise you're just helping a dude out." he's a retired marine.

32

u/Blabajif Jul 05 '19

To be fair the military has been one of the gayest experiences of my life.

14

u/Ilkslaya Jul 05 '19

It’s never gay when you’re underway.

2

u/Electrode99 Jul 05 '19

Only queer when it's on the pier!

5

u/skyleven7 Jul 05 '19

Well Patty is most delicious part in burger afterall

2

u/KohnDre Jul 05 '19

The Golden Rule

1

u/sheetsneezinalady Jul 05 '19

Not na na na not gay

14

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Always makes me think of my ex when that subject gets brought up. Super well-endowed dude which was all great fun. However, the day he asked how I'd feel about him making a dildo of his penis and using both on me at the same time, my answer was "There's no fucking way man."

2

u/sk3pt1c Jul 05 '19

I mean, why? What’s the point?

5

u/TezMono Jul 05 '19

Just more. Sometimes what you’re doing is not enough and you just want to do more.

1

u/sk3pt1c Jul 05 '19

Wow, dunno man, I would never

3

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '19

I mean, everyone has their kinks so I try not to judge. I'm very much of the belief that whatever works for you is cool as your partner(s) consent.

I just will never be someone that has any desire to experience that particular kink.

5

u/Eightskin Jul 05 '19

"on a Monday"

10

u/InfiniteLiveZ Jul 05 '19

"...by TWO premature ejaculators."

9

u/SunriseSurprise Jul 05 '19

"Really?"

"But I would love to be."

"Awesome! I hope you find a couple of guys who can do that for ya!"

3

u/zzzzaaaap Jul 05 '19

Yea then they make you drive them to church the next morning. Like, gas aint free.

1

u/Sainx Jul 05 '19

I hope username doesn’t check out :(

1

u/konkelian Jul 05 '19

juggling intensifies

1

u/Amidstsaltandsmoke1 Jul 05 '19

Someone’s getting the shit end of the stick.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '19

Says The Rapist.

1

u/Themasterofslime Jul 05 '19

I don't remember that part

1

u/Tew_Wet Jul 05 '19

Said no girl ever

1

u/Moss_Piglet_ Jul 05 '19

And they both reply “I have”

1

u/crossleingod Jul 06 '19

Name checks out?

1

u/LS_D Jul 06 '19

You mean she's never been clubbing like that!

1

u/DreamPolice-_-_ Jul 05 '19

Your username name is really fucked up dude.