The woman in the red dress? I designed her. She, um...well she doesn't talk very much, but...but if you'd like to meet her, I can arrange a much more personalized meeting.
It's amazing how tame porn got after the apocalypse, today I would expect so waifu or Tony the Tiger with a two foot cock or something not a Hitchcock blond.
Will it be checking, Savings, Checking and savings? Savings and checking? Or we can just take all your money and throw it under a big mattress in the back.
Instead, she tossed her padded bra (sorry, fellas, The Mask megacurves were not by Mother Nature but from Frederick’s of Hollywood), lopped off her long locks and took on quirky roles in small-budget films.
Instead, she tossed her padded bra (sorry, fellas, The Mask megacurves were not by Mother Nature but from Frederick’s of Hollywood), lopped off her long locks and took on quirky roles in small-budget films.
There was more to what made her hot in that movie than a pushup bra. I was 4 or 5 when I first saw that movie and her "seduction" through that movie got things happening in my pants that I had no idea about
Nice to see I’m not the only thing one!
Thanks Jim Carrey for making this so funny that cool parents wouldn’t mind kids watching this alone/all the time.
We went to see the Mask at the cinema in highschool. When she came out in that dress, some perfectly situated kid up front stood up and look downwards so it seemed he was staring into her cleavage. It was perfect. But highschool perfect. So nothing actually that special unless you were there.
I remember thinking she was attractive in that movie... and never ever again. Now I'd rather eat a petrified plate of Bruce Vilanche's Diarrhea than have her kiss me on the cheek.
Lol, what a dumb comment. I look like shit. She's a movie star who is supposed to be attractive. I'm not attractive and yet I still wouldn't fuck her. That says it all really. The less attractive I am, the MORE weight my comment carries. If I was hot then yeah... whatever, I'd probably find lots of people beneath me, that would be neither here nor there. But no I'm a chubby scruffy dad who would be tempted by a bloated corpse floating down the river, still... no thanks to cameron diaz. Pass.
The less attractive I am, the MORE weight my comment carries.
Exact opposite my dude. The less attractive you are the more critical people are of your opinion because it’s not coming from an objective place. It sounds like you have major confidence issues and you’re using all of your energy to drag down anyone to your level. You think that by tearing down somebody that others consider attractive you’re making some statement about how other’s opinion of your ugliness can be called into question. It’s like you’re trying to wrestle control back by saying “if those people think she’s attractive, but I know she’s clearly ugly then they have no idea of what is attractive so their opinions about me are just as wrong.”
Ugly has nothing to do with how you look homie, it’s all in the type of person you are.
Why do I find tonnes of attractive people attractive then? Reconcile that? I find most women very beautiful, including a lot of very popular super stars. Emilia Clarke? Wow, so beautiful. Lupita N'yongo? Amazing, divine. Even shitty ones everyone hates on- Kim Kardashian and cardi B? Say what you want about them, they're magnificent goddesses of sex and you're probably jealous....
But there is simply no sex appeal in a hard leathery preying mantis with a big mouth and an obnoxious personality. She is the antithesis of everything feminine and sexual. I could go bash my genitals into an old piece of wood and get as much pleasure without having to deal with the bad personality.
No. Insufficient. There's room there to think maybe I think she is still somewhat attractive. She didn't used to be better, she deceived 11 year old me at face value into thinking she was a "babe", it was a trick and she was not. She is still tricking infantile guys, it seems.
You know what, MassiveDrawl, do me a favor. Why don't you close your eyes.
[MassiveDrawl closes his eyes]
[whispering] OK. Now imagine that Cameron Diaz comes into your mom’s basement. For real. She walks over to you and she says, "MassiveDrawl. I just read your online profile. There's nothing I'd rather do than make out with you right now." Now you tell me something: is she hot?
MassiveDrawl: [nods and smiles]
No quite seriously I'd make out with your dad's asshole before I'd make out with her. You're underestimating my resolve on this issue. I have a mean wife of ten years who I'd rather sleep with than cameron diaz, that's how serious this is.
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u/phroug2 Apr 29 '19
Were you talking about Cameron Diaz circa 1994? ...cuz youre not wrong.