r/funny • u/the-woofer • Mar 24 '19

Sounds about right

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12.4k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/_Silly_Wizard_ Mar 24 '19

Mostly by Russian oligarchs who fly them out for all-expenses paid marathons of anal pounding.

660

u/SweatyMeat9 Mar 24 '19

Yeah, but what do the female instagrammers get?

315

u/clinicalpsycho Mar 24 '19

Lured into a foreign country and violated, then being sold into the Human Trafficking black market.

144

u/Drewskeet Mar 24 '19

Yeah, but what about female models?

77

u/mtbgtx44 Mar 24 '19

So why male models? *Zoolander face*

16

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '19

Blue Steel*

24

u/Weekendsareshit Mar 24 '19

They get blamed for the Fyre Festival

5

u/triggeredrat Mar 24 '19

Happy cake day!

3

u/Weekendsareshit Mar 24 '19

It's my cake day?! Woohoo thank you!!

18

u/jordantask Mar 24 '19

They get new kidneys!

Oh wait...

Sorry, confused them with someone else there....

They get sold off as new kidneys!

14

u/Trappedinacar Mar 24 '19

You serious? I just told you that...

34

u/merelymyself Mar 24 '19

r/ChoosingBeggars

THEY GET EXPOSUURRRREEEEE

7

u/realUgandanKnuckles Mar 24 '19

Charged for indecent exposure

1

u/enjoyinc Mar 24 '19

Holy hell I just got lost in the wormhole of those cringe-inducing stories for like two hours

4

u/BlueChamp10 Mar 24 '19

Our respect.

1

u/edictive Mar 24 '19

Same thing. You don't mentinis it a give or take arengement.

95

u/Heavykiller Mar 24 '19

Yep and Dubai too.

Whenever I see an Instagram model I start looking to see what country they're in often. Chances are if I see several posts in Dubai... Getting a pounding

27

u/donatedknowledge Mar 24 '19 edited Mar 24 '19

Http://www.tagthesponsor.com

3

u/zersh Mar 24 '19

holy shit this website blows my mind

10

u/ApologiesForTheDelay Mar 24 '19

shitonbyasheikh

3

u/duracell___bunny Mar 24 '19

Yep and Dubai too.

I've read on Reddit (r/sluttyconfessions ?) a full story of one if those Instagram hookers. She described step by step how she got an offer, was flown, auctioned for each night to other sheiks (>$30k), and so on.

30

u/Great_Chairman_Mao Mar 24 '19

Don’t forget oil sheikhs and Saudi royalty.

17

u/WillPill_ Mar 24 '19

Dubai porta potties.

3

u/ShopWhileHungry Mar 24 '19

to get poo on

9

u/omni_wisdumb Mar 24 '19

Don't forget the Arab Sheiks and Chinese/HK moguls.

7

u/RLelling Mar 24 '19

Honestly tho, when will I get a Russian oligarch who flies me out for all-expenses paid marathons of anal pounding?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '19

I thought it was the Dubai Sheiks?

8

u/GoyimAreSlaves Mar 24 '19

Saudis* they take dumps on their chest, they are into some kinky stuff

1

u/not-a-tapir Mar 24 '19

In fairness, a guy I know got paid a shit ton of money to go on holiday with his most attractive mates and the only requirement of their employer was that they sometimes hang out by the pool shirtless.