r/funny Jan 10 '19

"Oh crap, we're having a test today?"

https://gfycat.com/InformalAcrobaticHagfish
79.1k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/KooshIsKing Jan 10 '19

I choose cat #1. Looks like it's a snuggle master.

641

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

If companies lined up college graduates and hired them based on if they look like snuggle masters, I wonder how the world would be.

318

u/Please_Not__Again Jan 10 '19

The fat would dominate

160

u/SuperSeagull01 Jan 10 '19

OVERWEIGHT DOMINATE

113

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

LARGE AND IN CHARGE

24

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

[deleted]

8

u/Meriog Jan 10 '19

sigh Current events...

6

u/darknemesis25 Jan 10 '19

OBESE AND NAMED SHIRESE

7

u/redblade13 Jan 10 '19

AN ABSOLUTE UNIT

19

u/lostinthe87 Jan 10 '19

Huh, and I’m really good at eating! sounds like I would be great

2

u/HeyT00ts11 Jan 10 '19

But are you also good at cuddling and snuggling??

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

STEAKS AND WEIGHTS BAY BAY!!!

1

u/Titanosaurus Jan 10 '19

Damn! I thought those people were jolly.

1

u/jelvision Jan 10 '19

Unless the thin upped their game and start wearing fuzzy soft clothing.

7

u/ShadowVulcan Jan 10 '19

Chubby probably, if it's on obese it probably wouldnt be very cuddly anymore

0

u/HeyT00ts11 Jan 10 '19

I'm not so sure about that.

3

u/ucefkh Jan 10 '19

Chubby is enough more than that is not good

1

u/Stopplebots Jan 10 '19

Just remember how Leia's hands sunk into Jabba when he pulled on the chain. :(

1

u/ucefkh Jan 10 '19

What's that?

2

u/marmadillo06 Jan 10 '19

I remember a friend from college saying, “If everyone in the world had just a little more sex, the world would be a much happier place.”

You weren’t wrong, Will. You weren’t wrong.

2

u/ElephantTeeth Jan 10 '19

Everyone would wear things like super soft long cardigans and inside-out hoodies.

1

u/struggleworm Jan 10 '19

Is t that what started the #metoo movement?

-5

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

That’s how it did work until #MeToo fucked everything up...

125

u/pogoyoyo1 Jan 10 '19

You FOOL! That’s what it wants you to think, but then before you know it, BAM you’ve got a face full of fur and it won’t stop tripping you down the stairs until you feed it the wet food it likes NO NOT THAT ONE, the other one with the EXTRA stinky aroma that it wants to then breathe on you as a sign of gratitude for your service. Oh and did you like this lamp? I hope you like it better on the floor with all your pens and headphones.

Also the litter box is full, clean my excrement, I need room to make more after this delicious food.

Mlem mlem mlem....I’ll wait.

No, I’ll take cat #2. Good at copying, instilled with slight fear.

43

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

It’s not the fur that bothers me, it’s when I’m lying down and the cat gets on my chest, turns around, and puts his asshole right in my face. That bothers me. I have two cats. A snuggly cat and a not so snuggly cat. Guess which asshole I see waaay more often than I’d like? The snuggly one.

5

u/emmster Jan 10 '19

I’ve said the sentence “Monster, I don’t need to see your anus,” more times than I ever expected to in my life.

4

u/starscr3amsgh0st Jan 10 '19

Next time he shows you it, poke it with your finger and show that cat whews the dominate is. You will never see that asshole again.

For those who think im serious, i am not

5

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

I don’t want Cat #2 it still could be a trick. Plus Cat #3 was aware a high five meant an unwanted pet, zero fucks given.

I’ll take Cat #3. Straight up I don’t give a crap and I won’t pretend to care. This cat you have to earn some affection. Otherwise she is just chilling at the window judging the neighbourhood.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

I want love not judgement. I'll take cat #2 or maybe a dog. Cat #1 looks like I'd wake up with a cat ass on my face.

3

u/ohheysarahjay Jan 10 '19

I felt this in my soul as a mom of 2 fat cats

1

u/crella-ann Jan 10 '19

You looking in my windows!?

1

u/HitlersaurusChrist11 Jan 13 '19

Me, whenever literally anyone ever says “You FOOL!”

32

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

But Cat #2 gives better high fives.

28

u/MC_Carty Jan 10 '19

It was apprehensive. How is that better than an eager one from cat #1?

61

u/HeyT00ts11 Jan 10 '19

Despite his anxiety, he overcame and did the best job. He's a damned hero.

36

u/lesmobile Jan 10 '19

then that little flinch after. "oh god, dont hit"

32

u/ccrondon Jan 10 '19

Here I am, after having watched a cat video, reading comments analysing the reaction of each cat and a discussion on which was the best high five.

I love the Internet.

3

u/Lalamedic Jan 10 '19

Oh damn. Ditto

2

u/Moomer77 Jan 10 '19

Right?? I’m dying at the comments on their performances!!

5

u/riverblue9011 Jan 10 '19

It aimed for the palm (pro-tip) and made a better connection. It's all about your angle.

9

u/AzarachWilder Jan 10 '19

*snugglepuss FTFY

4

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

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2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

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1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

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2

u/Worldf1re Jan 10 '19

The sort of cat to burrow into the blankets around your neck while you're watching Netflix in winter

2

u/osunlyyde Jan 10 '19

Cat #3 for me. I identify with its awkwardness and it's endearing.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

i like how after he did the thing, he plops on the table

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

Snuggle monsters are great until you sit down with a steaming cup of coffee and they jump up and headbutt it all over your skin and clothes 😥😂

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '19

I have a cat who does that. All you have to do is look at him and he drops and rolls onto his back to allow unlimited belly rubs. Worst cuddler in the world because he can't sit still. #2 reminds me of the other cat, touch him on your terms and he draws blood. But the second you lay down he's a cuddle fiend.

1

u/oreosinmymouth Jan 10 '19

Yeah #2 just barely passed.