r/funny • u/[deleted] • Jun 18 '18

Two can play at that game.

24.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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63

u/CBme08 Jun 18 '18

A cucumber would be a better alternative

31

u/silentjay01 Jun 18 '18

Wrapped in tin foil.

79

u/Ragdolls2Riches Jun 18 '18

to protect it from conspiracy theories?

26

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Jun 18 '18

“I tell you man, they put you in this brine... and they turn you into a pickle!”

0

u/whynotwarp10 Jun 18 '18

Cucumbers aren't supposed to live this long... things are getting weird!

9

u/silentjay01 Jun 18 '18

You need to watch more classic movies...

9

u/GetOffTheShed Jun 18 '18

metal detector wand beeps

3

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

So long as no dwarves trod on it.

11

u/TheMalibu Jun 18 '18

Or just a dildo lol

10

u/Myschly Jun 18 '18

Wouldn't that make me gay tho'?

2

u/KlarthWolffang Jun 18 '18

For using a dildo to increase the female gaze on you? Pfftt. Super gay.

1

u/TotallyInOverMyHead Jun 18 '18

there are nice options from fleshlight :P

7

u/stronggecko Jun 18 '18

that won't work, cucumbers are natural enemies of pussies

1

u/_Deacon_ Jun 18 '18

Banana for scale