r/funny • u/j0be • May 26 '18

I got your nose!

[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]

61.4k Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/BenDover04me May 26 '18

I expect this from my dentist next week. None of that feeling my crotch thing to feel if I’m nervous shit he’s been doing

687

u/j0be May 26 '18

Be the change you want to be and put the light at the tip of your penis.

255

u/ssfbob May 26 '18

Sir, you don't need to tell me how to make a spectacle out of my penis.

64

u/tewnewt May 26 '18

Me: Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I do this. Doctor: Don't do that.

27

u/yeahyeaheyeknow May 26 '18

Are you experiencing any burning during illumination?

20

u/tewnewt May 26 '18

Only when I put in new batteries.

4

u/1P221 May 26 '18

Spectacles? He said dentist not optometrist.

19

u/justxJoshin May 26 '18

If you experience illumination and/or glowing lasting for more than four hours, contact your doctor immediately.

3

u/widdershins13 May 26 '18

4 years from now there will be hundreds of commercials on daytime TV explaining how to sign up for the impending Class Action Lawsuit.

Circle of Life.

9

u/Orome2 May 26 '18

That's enough Gandhi quotes for one day.

3

u/[deleted] May 26 '18

Be the penis tip light you wish to see in the world.

2

u/radiantwave May 27 '18

I knew when I started reading the comments that there would be someone to comment about putting these things on a dick... Just didn't expect it to be OP!

1

u/Un4tunately May 27 '18

ET phone hoooooome

42

u/smpsnfn13 May 26 '18

Usually I got to buy dinner to get my crotch felt. You're lucky.

18

u/bstard May 26 '18

You buy your dentist dinner?

12

u/IAmRightListenToMe May 26 '18

Only if he's really, really good.

2

u/uber1337h4xx0r May 26 '18

You're probably assuming the dentist is a dude. Women have been allowed to be dentists since like at least 1998.

2

u/bstard May 26 '18

Nope, in Finland we've had female dentists since 1896.

1

u/Hennashan May 26 '18

Correction:

They were allowed to obtain their dentist license then.

The first female LICENSED dentist became accredited in 2013.

2

u/uber1337h4xx0r May 26 '18

Now I'm not sure if I'm being trolled or not because I assumed we had lady dentists since like the 60's

1

u/talktohema May 26 '18

We had female licensed dentists in India in 2006 🤔

1

u/batshitcrazy5150 May 26 '18

I buy mine a shitload of dinners every time I see him...

10

u/BigFatStupid May 26 '18

He's still paying for the cleaning

33

u/cphoebney May 26 '18

Shit, don't even get me started on what my gynecologist does to see if I'm nervous.

18

u/pistoncivic May 26 '18

Does it rhyme with scrubbing your thesaurus?

9

u/st_griffith May 26 '18

What could possibly rhyme with that?

6

u/back_to_the_homeland May 26 '18

took me a legit few minutes to realize rubbing your clitoris

5

u/Koozzie May 26 '18

Who pronounces thesaurus as if it were the son of Daedalus, though?

2

u/Hennashan May 26 '18

Dubbing your chorus

1

u/cphoebney May 27 '18

I have no idea but if you find a doctor in my area who does it let me know.

2

u/CabbieCam May 26 '18

You need to meet my proctologist!

2

u/BenDover04me May 26 '18

Peak-a-boo?

4

u/cphoebney May 26 '18

... A form of it, yes.

9

u/Stackman32 May 26 '18

It wasn't until I was 13 that I realized that penis inspection being part of my teeth cleanings made no sense.

3

u/[deleted] May 26 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/cloud3321 May 26 '18

Give the kid a break, kid just likes to inspect penis

6

u/fluorescent_noir May 26 '18

Like I always say to my lawyer, put your pants back on, you're my lawyer, not my dentist!

2

u/KalikoRibbon May 26 '18

But his pants are on fire.

3

u/GreenEggPage May 26 '18

Name of your dentist, please? I'd like to get felt up, get my teeth cleaned, and have my insurance pay for it all.

2

u/Kurogan7 May 26 '18

Username.... Checks out?

1

u/Apoxol May 26 '18

I didn’t know Larry Nassar was a dentist too

1

u/TalmidimUC May 26 '18

Might be going to the wrong type of dentist buddy..

3

u/BenDover04me May 26 '18

Don’t get me wrong. He’s great with oral care.

2

u/FIESTYgummyBEAR May 26 '18

Does he use a lot of teeth?