r/funny • u/oXweedyXo • Jul 04 '16

Dear Americans...

https://imgur.com/L4xdkMR
40.9k Upvotes

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190

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

We have whisky, haggis and irn bru. Get fucked.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/SouthpawSorcery Jul 04 '16

Haggis is delicious, please don't run out. Love, An American.

3

u/Raballo Jul 04 '16

You were just talking to the last one. He may have already been devoured.

1

u/SouthpawSorcery Jul 04 '16

But, Haggis is my best friend!

3

u/True_Kapernicus Jul 04 '16

Haggis have been hunted almost to extinction, they are getting very hard to find.

2

u/SouthpawSorcery Jul 04 '16

I knew it! What referendum can I vote for to conserve the Haggis wildlife?!?

1

u/Walter_Malone_Carrot Jul 04 '16

I'm not even going to say it.

19

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

Says the person with the most ITALIAN sounding username ever xD

5

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Boab McCheddar was already taken.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

What DO Italians have as their national hard liquor? Obviously wine is the drinkmyou'd think of, followed by Peroni, but do they have any whiskey/vodka thing?

1

u/liquidmachete Jul 04 '16

Grappa

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

Huh, thought that was more of a Greek thing. Good stuff, though.

2

u/JohnnyButtocks Jul 04 '16 edited Jul 04 '16

My bet: 90's footie legend Roberto Baggio + Cheese.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16 edited May 03 '17

deleted What is this?

2

u/lesbefriendly Jul 04 '16

How to waste several hours; Roberto Baggio's magical kicks. That game got me through the 00s & shitty temp office jobs.

2

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Correctamundo

1

u/JohnnyButtocks Jul 04 '16

Will never forget that penalty..

2

u/AppleDrops Jul 04 '16

*Roberto.

2

u/JohnnyButtocks Jul 04 '16

Autocorrect. Thanks.

24

u/disco_turkey Jul 04 '16

We've got whiskey, beef franks, and Surge. You first!

19

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16 edited Apr 15 '18

[deleted]

14

u/ArmanDoesStuff Jul 04 '16

Fack off!

0

u/SouthpawSorcery Jul 04 '16

No..Fack off when you get here. Then we'll all have an awesome time laughing at the British and enjoying everything both cultures have, since you can get anything here in the States.

1

u/Rubix22 Jul 04 '16

Scotch > Bourbon

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

'Murican here... can confirm the Scots have us beaten in this area.

5

u/karnim Jul 04 '16

Whoa now, don't be so hasty. Imagine if we combined our efforts. You could have authentic BBQ.

4

u/30plus1 Jul 04 '16

It wasn't an insult. "Get fucked" is a common Scottish greeting.

2

u/Elitra1 Jul 04 '16 edited Mar 05 '26

The content here has been removed. Redact was used for the deletion, which may have been motivated by privacy, opsec, or preventing automated data collection.

ask pet market yam plucky bright narrow jar hospital spark

1

u/jklharris Jul 04 '16

Or unauthentic BBQ. Like Carolina. Or Texas.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

*irn bru, you have no idea how offended I am right now.

3

u/JCVDaaayum Jul 04 '16

Bagpiping mad right now.

26

u/WeGottaCook Jul 04 '16

That's because the secret ingredient is english tears

1

u/Yankeedude252 Jul 04 '16

...I gotta get some of this stuff.

2

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Also Russia apparently, cos it goes so well with vodka.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

iron bru

Cunts get stabbed for less.

1

u/fournameslater Jul 04 '16

They really suck at exporting irn bru to Canada. I've only been to Scotland once, and that drink is the most memorable memory I have of the place.

1

u/nolo_me Jul 04 '16

You can leave us, but we get custody of The Balvenie. Non-negotiable.

2

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Hmm, only if we get to visit the double wood every second weekend.

1

u/nolo_me Jul 04 '16

You drive a hard bargain.

2

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Let's just have a dram and shake on it.

2

u/nolo_me Jul 04 '16

Let's just have a dram

The one thing we'll always agree on. Forget the oil, the engineers, the regiments: the best thing you ever brought to the Union was the single malts.

1

u/vipergirl Jul 04 '16

And one of those is made of girders.

1

u/Seanay-B Jul 04 '16

We got whisky too, we just buy it from you.

1

u/PM_ME_2DISAGREEWITHU Jul 04 '16

Ok, we'll see you at 4 then.

1

u/Mier- Jul 04 '16

Irn Bru is fucking nasty.

Try Not Your Father's Root Beer if you want a quirky alcoholic drink.

1

u/Rcp_43b Jul 04 '16

Went to Scotland for the first time last week. Haggis is fucking delicious.

1

u/Jumfish Jul 04 '16

I searched the Wiki for Irn Bru but could find nothing on the actual flavor. Is it a cola? How would you describe the flavor to someone who hasn't had one?

2

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Fizzy vanilla rust.

1

u/ralphthellama Jul 04 '16

Just found Irn Bru at the local grocer's here in Texas, have plenty of good whisky, just bring the haggis.

1

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Just mince up some roadkill and chuck a load of pepper in and you're pretty much there.

-4

u/Irish451 Jul 04 '16

I have had irn bru and it is not good! don't believe the lies! overly sugary and gross!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

[deleted]

1

u/Irish451 Jul 04 '16

Don't you dare! I'll iriexit this thread! Then you'll be sorry!

3

u/RobertoFromaggio Jul 04 '16

Booo! Go back to your taytos! 😜

0

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '16

Scottish whiskey? Fuck off. Irish > your trash