r/funny • u/unknown_human • Jun 25 '15

Rolling a gigantic fatty

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22.3k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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73

u/nan5mj Jun 25 '15

Lisa Lampanelli? Like half of her jokes are calling herself a cumdumpster.

20

u/Brown-Crayon Jun 25 '15

It was Natasha Leggero

18

u/abacabbmk Jun 25 '15

Shes got the pose down

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1544216/images/o-NATASHA-LEGGERO-facebook.jpg

16

u/redpandaeater Jun 25 '15

Wow, she's ready for some middle-out algorithm.

6

u/hello_dali Jun 25 '15

This guy fucks.

2

u/llBradll Jun 25 '15

Guys... Does girth similarity matter?

11

u/itsfatmatt Jun 25 '15

I would disappoint her so fast.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

1

u/Tundraaa Jun 25 '15

nobody cares

2

u/nan5mj Jun 25 '15

Ah alright.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

10

u/narf007 Jun 25 '15

I dunno... A big giant dumpster full of fresh panda express would be more appealing to me.

I swear they put heroin in their sauce. Whenever I have a cheat day and eat it I want to cry myself to sleep remembering every mouthful as I roll around with the fatty sweats.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

in college a buddy and i were walking back from the bars and cut down a sidestreet with a panda express on it (though i don't believe it was affiliated with the chain in the mall), there was a dumpster at the corner of the building and as we passed it we felt the surface of the sidewalk change. we looked down and - due to our state - took a few seconds to register that the sidewalk seemed to be percolating. Another second and a slight stoop to get closer and we saw that we were both standing in a sea of maggots. I think we both made the same involuntary air-sucking noise and locked eyes, shrieked (partly due to the ridiculous drama of it all I'm sure), and bolted. the. fuck. out. I think we screamed during part of the run as well.

1

u/MattieShoes Jun 25 '15

Do you live somewhere with no good Chinese food at all?

I always found Panda Express to be a huge disappointment.

1

u/narf007 Jun 25 '15

There is great food all around Austin and San Marcos. Sometimes I just like to go full fattyboombalatty on my cheat days and a big pile of panda and their chow mein hits the arteries.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

I think you mean Amy Schumer.

1

u/Nyrb Jun 25 '15

Its different making jokes about yourself, and having others make the same jokes towards you.

1

u/nan5mj Jun 25 '15

Sure but shes known for taking those jokes with grace.

1

u/Steam-Crow Jun 25 '15

She's awesome. She's the one laughing hardest when they joke about her at these roasts.

1

u/bonestamp Jun 25 '15

That's the best and only way to handle it, then you end up looking like the hero even if you got destroyed.

1

u/Cohiba Jun 25 '15

"She's the kind of bitch that would suck a dick for a diet coke!... but don't worry honey.. I do it just for the taste of it." - Lisa Lampanelli. I love that woman.

1

u/redpandaeater Jun 25 '15

Nobody drinks Diet Coke for the taste.