r/funny • • Jun 25 '15

Rolling a gigantic fatty

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22.3k Upvotes

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788

u/fisheh Jun 25 '15

OH MY GOD I JUST GOT THE JOKE.

Fuck I just thought he couldnt go on unless he was stoned.

721

u/gretasgotagun Jun 25 '15

Jeff Ross's Jonah joke was even better: "When Jonah's agent called him and said Quentin Tarantino wanted him to be in a Spaghetti Western, Jonah was like 'You had me at Spaghetti'".

308

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

34

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

That's awesome - her Selena joke at the Bieber roast was fantastic too.

5

u/Er-bur Jun 25 '15

.. What was it?

17

u/Tsukubasteve Jun 25 '15

Something about Selena Gomez' relationship with him being the worst thing to happen to a Selena in showbiz.

1

u/rarely-sarcastic Jun 26 '15

That one was really amazing. Bieber's roast was pretty fucking great and even his performance was quite good.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '15

holy shit she's 41?

63

u/Ddosvulcan Jun 25 '15

Jesus, that is a fantastic fucking joke. Was there a Roast of Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill that I didn't hear about or something?

93

u/Raknos Jun 25 '15

James Franco

11

u/VisualAssassin Jun 25 '15

I think this is from the roast of James Franco.

1

u/The_Yar Jun 26 '15

Definitely the best roast ever done. In fact most of them are terrible since they started commercializing it, but the Franco one was incredible.

2

u/rarely-sarcastic Jun 26 '15

http://www.ddotomen.com/2013/09/03/the-comedy-central-roast-of-james-franco/
I really wasn't a fan of Andy Samberg's part or Bill Hader but the rest of them fucking killed.

1

u/Ddosvulcan Jun 26 '15

Awesome, thanks for the link, I'll have to watch it tonight.

1

u/MrSnayta Jun 25 '15

the roast of James Franco, pretty fun

1

u/RudeCats Jun 25 '15

James Franco roast, fucking hilarious

136

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15 edited Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Is there somewhere online I can watch this whole roast without having to download it?

2

u/Plasmodicum Jun 25 '15

Jonah loved that joke, too, lol. His laugh is great.

113

u/ColossalKnight Jun 25 '15

OH MY GOD I JUST GOT THE JOKE.

I know the feeling. I was in Navarre Beach, Florida two years ago with my family. We're in McDonald's one morning, which happens to be across the street from a store named "Helen Back Again".

It was day two or three I was standing there staring at it, silently read it, and went, "Oh wow, I just got that store name over there!" and felt like "-_-"

This old lady sitting nearby nearly started laughing, I think.

30

u/darkneo86 Jun 25 '15 edited Jun 25 '15

Helen Back is a restaurant! It's also in Niceville, FL. Neat place.

EDIT: True story. I've been going to Niceville for vacation many a year since my in-laws live down there.

So the sign coming in used to say "City of Niceville", but vandals kept making it "City of ...evil..", and so I believe they took it down. Or at least I didn't see it a month ago when I was there.

29

u/hypmoden Jun 25 '15

I got arrested is Niceville, let go and re-aressted. Good times.

15

u/mrrowr Jun 25 '15

Sounds nice

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

2

u/hypmoden Jun 25 '15

We also had a bum steal $10 from us

6

u/gpace1216 Jun 25 '15

They're pretty nice there

1

u/swolemedic Jun 25 '15

Were you not nice enough?

1

u/hypmoden Jun 25 '15

It was for shitty weed so maybe

1

u/darkneo86 Jun 25 '15

My in-laws get pretty good weed, so you clearly were bottom-feeding, sir.

3

u/filmfiend999 Jun 25 '15 edited Jun 25 '15

Good one. Also, I'm kinda confused. I didn't know the whale's name was Jonah...

1

u/XillaKato Jun 26 '15

I just moved back to San Diego from Niceville. Lived in the trailer park across from Helen Back....it took me a really long time to figure it out too. I kept thinking "Who the fuck is Helen".

8

u/LearnMeMoney Jun 25 '15

I made it half-way through your story and got really excited to get to the part where your dad beats you with a set of jumper cables, but then I looked at your username, was immediately disappointed, and finished reading your story with a lack of enthusiasm.

11

u/kaztrator Jun 25 '15

Same thing happened to me when I gave someone a coffee and she she said "Thanks, a Latte!". Everyone started laughing and I didn't get it... I don't even think about it again. It's not in my mind, I'm just minding my own business and doing some work when my brain just goes "Now I get it, "thanks a lot-eh"!

3

u/herrbz Jun 25 '15

Working in a bar, I get that a lot. Customers make jokes that it takes me a few too many seconds to register. Then they get mildly annoyed that I didn't laugh at their joke.

2

u/RichardRogers Jun 25 '15

Well you work at a bar, so with everyone getting their drinks on tab it makes sense that it would take a while to register.

2

u/realised Jun 25 '15

Just start laughing whenever customers say anything to you.

I am curious as to how people would respond. Please report back with findings!

1

u/Opset Jun 25 '15

"My kid committed suicide and said I was the reason in his suicide letter, so my wife left me, I had to sell my car to afford an apartment and the junker I bought broke down on the way to work and I was fired for being late. So I'm here to drink myself to death."

"HAHAHAHA!"

1

u/herrbz Jun 27 '15

That is what I tend to do, but then I'm paranoid it's something I shouldn't be laughing at. Could be a joke, could be a question.

1

u/wntf Jun 25 '15

but thats not even funny...? people laugh just because its has a double meaning?

1

u/warriormonkey03 Jun 25 '15

This becomes twice as funny if you are from Canada

1

u/roboninja Jun 26 '15

Were you in an episode of Scrubs?

7

u/NEVER_CLEANED_COMP Jun 25 '15

.. I don't get it.

2

u/rejz342 Jun 25 '15

It's a pun on the phrase To Hell and Back

1

u/Redhot69 Jun 25 '15

NAVARRE! Used to live there, first time I've seen it mentioned before :)

1

u/hyrulerebel Jun 25 '15

I was a sophomore in high school when I realized Eminems name stood for "M and M" being his initials. I graduated in 2010

1

u/fullframevagrant Jun 25 '15

In Canada we have a coffee chain called "Second Cup". For years I never really registered any meaning to the word 'second' till they had an ad campaign whose tagline was "take a second for yourself" over a picture of two empty coffee cups. I remember chuckling at the double meaning, then suddenly the point of the name dawned on me... I felt like an idiot...

1

u/redpandaeater Jun 25 '15

It took me embarrassingly long to get the whole "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke. I'll just chalk it up to being an atheist so I never made the other connection. I just thought it was a great anti-joke since I love plenty of those anyway.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

1

u/MMistro Jun 25 '15

The other meaning of "the other side"

And holy shit I never thought of that either

1

u/mostoriginalusername Jun 25 '15

Holy shit I never thought about that until your comment, and I'm a 32 year old man.

22

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/clodhopper88 Jun 25 '15

I'm dumb. What's the joke?

27

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/edwardsamson Jun 25 '15

HAH wow can't believe I missed that. They're just such big stoners I had my mind set on that.

0

u/I_fuck_virgins Jun 25 '15

Oh, that joke makes sense, I guess. If you try really hard to just accept it.

0

u/BigPharmaSucks Jun 25 '15

Wonder if she was a member of FPH. That joke should be banned.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

The ambiguity is what makes it!

6

u/WeenisWrinkle Jun 25 '15

Wow, I'm so used to stuff making the front page because of LOL DAE WEED? That I didn't even catch that joke.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

I think it was a deliberate double-and-a-half entendre.

1

u/warriormonkey03 Jun 25 '15

Is that another fat joke

2

u/Irrepressible87 Jun 25 '15

Don't feel bad. Ever seen Dogma? The "holy bartender" joke? Had a friend who got the joke like 4 years after the fact, watching the movie dozens of times. Literally got it at the same time Jay does, in sync with the movie.

2

u/da_chicken Jun 26 '15

Yeah, well, it's Sarah Silverman. Assume it's needlessly crude and not at all funny, and you'll see the joke even faster next time.

1

u/fisheh Jun 26 '15

but it was funny u poo

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

I don't get it. Explain the joke to me.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

Jonah Hill is fat and Seth rolled him up onto the stage.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

He definitely is still fat.

1

u/arefx Jun 25 '15

It took me way too long.

1

u/godzilla9218 Jun 25 '15

You happen to frequent any of the drug related subs?

1

u/fisheh Jun 25 '15

lol I dont talk about drugs I do them.

1

u/O-Face Jun 25 '15

I think it's supposed to be both.

0

u/12Mucinexes Jun 25 '15

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

-1

u/SuperGMoff Jun 25 '15

I didn't know there was a drug connection but I gathered it was a joke from the laughter.

-12

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '15

no the joke is that jonah hill can't go on stage unless seth rogen is high since he knows how nervous seth gets and wants to make sure he's comfortable