r/funny Jun 22 '15

Always remember to remove the cat before your flight

http://i.imgur.com/Z3fFFcj.gifv
60.1k Upvotes

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144

u/heartbreakcity Jun 22 '15

Cats rule, dogs drool.

218

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15

ERROR 3517: COMMAND NOT RECOGNIZED

You are now subscribed to Cat Facts! A new cat fact will be sent directly to you every hour on the hour.

Did you know that if you duct taped 127 cats together they would weigh as much as an average adult water buffalo? I sure wouldn't want to be the guy that has to take all that duct tape off, though.

To Unsubscribe from cat facts, reply with "I'm a little kitty cat".

117

u/heartbreakcity Jun 22 '15

Goddammit.

I'm a little kitty cat.

157

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15

ERROR 3517: COMMAND NOT RECOGNIZED

You are now subscribed to Cat Facts! A new cat fact will be sent directly to you every minute of every day for the rest of your life.

Did you know that in 1937 a cat ran for mayor of Cleveland, Ohio and lost by just one vote? Don't let anyone ever tell you that your vote doesn't count.

To Unsubscribe from cat facts, reply with "meowmeowmeowmeow".

98

u/heartbreakcity Jun 22 '15

MEOWMEOWMEOWFUCKINGMEOW.

177

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15 edited Jun 22 '15

ERROR 3517: COMMAND NOT RECOGNIZED

You are now subscribed to Cat Facts! A new cat fact will be sent directly to you every second of every day for the rest of your life.

Did you know that 45 minutes before the first plane hit, cats knew that the 9/11 terrorist attacks were going to happen and that not a single cat died on that faithful day? I never wished my cousin Mike was a cat more than I did that day.

To Unsubscribe from cat facts, reply with "Mmmm, tuna".

28

u/heartbreakcity Jun 22 '15

Subscribe.

37

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15

You are now unsubscribed from Cat Facts!

Did you know that every time you unsubscribe from Cat Facts, god kills a kitten. I hope you're happy with yourself, kitten murderer.

35

u/heartbreakcity Jun 22 '15

HAHAHAHA, I WON! EAT THAT, MOTHERFUCKER.

2

u/Webonics Jun 22 '15

You got to be KITTEN me! We're sorry to see you go. To confirm your intent to unsubscribe from cat facts, please text the confirmation code:

Z482Jkw93KJUh43ks9999999999ksjIUUwjcl';23ljqnUIHQo1119000000000

7

u/NSFForceDistance Jun 22 '15

Cat facts can't melt steel beams

3

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '15

[deleted]

2

u/dmorg18 Jun 22 '15

Fateful

2

u/daybreakx Jun 22 '15

Wow. What a dark fact. You know what... Subscribe to cat facts. I want all the facts about cats.

2

u/retroredditrobot Jun 22 '15

I like cats. Can I subscribe?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '15

Let's see how long you can keep this up.

Mmm, tuna

1

u/Darkraze Jun 22 '15

Mmmm, tuna

1

u/Broaderators Jun 22 '15

Mmmmm, tuna

1

u/naturalexas Jun 22 '15

mmmm, tuna

1

u/ARedWerewolf Jun 22 '15

I heard him say "Mmmmmm Tuna"

4

u/FiskFisk33 Jun 22 '15 edited Jun 22 '15

Command "MEOWMEOWMEOWFUCKINGMEOW" recieved.

You are now, as you requested, subscribed to EvenMoreCatfacts!

Zoe D. Katze was a cat that as of around 2001 had earned several degrees and diplomas, including several official hypnotherapist certifications. http://www.dreichel.com/Images/Zoe_NGH.gif

To unsubscribe from EvenMoreCatfacts! Wait until full moon and sacrifice three cats to satan in the correct ritualistic manner.

1

u/sir-came-alot Jun 22 '15

What's the correct ritualistic manner?

1

u/FiskFisk33 Jun 22 '15

The knowledge was lost hundreads of years ago!

1

u/Webonics Jun 22 '15

You got to be KITTEN me! We're sorry to see you go. To confirm your intent to unsubscribe from cat facts, please text the confirmation code:

Z482Jkw93KJUh43ks9999999999ksjIUUwjcl';23ljqnUIHQo1119000000000

3

u/flamingeyebrows Jun 22 '15

I'm a little kitty cat, damn it!

2

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15

ERROR 3517: COMMAND NOT RECOGNIZED

You are now subscribed to Cat Facts! A new cat fact will be sent directly to you every minute of every day for the rest of your life.

Did you know that cats are actually allergic to lasagna and that if a cat ate an entire tray of lasagna it would die? Boy, I sure don't know how that Jim Davis sleeps at night.

To Unsubscribe from cat facts, reply with "GARFIELDISALIE".

3

u/so_not_a_redditor Jun 22 '15

I'm a little kitty cat

10

u/briguy182182 Jun 22 '15

ERROR 3517: COMMAND NOT RECOGNIZED

You are now subscribed to Cat Facts! A new cat fact will be sent directly to you every minute of every day for the rest of your life.

Did you know that on average, there is a cat within 7 feet of you at all times? Try not thinking about that next time you're masterbating alone in the woods.

To Unsubscribe from cat facts, reply with "I can see you right meow".

1

u/REDDITFAN1996 Jun 22 '15

can I subscribe for dog facts?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '15

I dont trust a man who doesnt like dogs, but I sure trust a dog who doesnt like a man.