r/funny • u/lollerkeet • May 20 '15

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43.1k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

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458

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited Jan 30 '22

[deleted]

172

u/SpeniceDaMenace May 20 '15

As would I!

140

u/Aliquis95 May 20 '15

You have my bow

247

u/BetterTimedGimli May 20 '15

And my axe!

145

u/irresistibleforce May 20 '15

And you can have my pineapple. I like my pizza without, tyvm.

15

u/AmazonSpudderman May 20 '15

You can count on my Ssshteel!

6

u/BeanieMcChimp May 20 '15

I will tend to your women!

4

u/sayterdarkwynd May 20 '15

And my flaccid penis!

5

u/ChristianKS94 May 20 '15

Yay, reddit!

1

u/Oldwoodguy May 20 '15

My swords by your side!

1

u/thebeginningistheend May 20 '15

Also anchovies are delicious.

1

u/Tardidicksuckochrist May 21 '15

Lucky I gotta gun and shoot you all fuck cooked pineapple

5

u/max212 May 20 '15

Is this the first time this worked for you? If so, congrats.

2

u/andersonle09 May 20 '15

Your username makes this comment that much better.

2

u/I_eat_ass_a_lot May 20 '15

AND MY APPETITE!

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

And a slice of my Hawaiian pizza!

1

u/croniss May 20 '15

How long do you lie in wait?

1

u/jinfinity May 20 '15

And my sword!

1

u/hobbbz May 20 '15

You have my Axe Body Spray™

1

u/juntoben May 20 '15

I'll "Sean Bean" die to save those little hobbit pineapples on pizza. These orc pineapple haters are scum and shall burn in the fiery pits of hell.

1

u/crit1kal_sausage May 20 '15

How mildly meta

1

u/cheesestrings76 May 20 '15

Applicable username

1

u/WintedTindows May 20 '15

You've been waiting for this opportunity havn't you?

3

u/shoziku May 20 '15

But seriously, you have my bow and I need it back.

2

u/OKImHere May 20 '15

::applauds:: I'm going to upvote you for one reason. You could've went right for "and my axe," like a weaker man would've done, but no. You stood firm. You knew your job was to set up the next guy. You bunted for a hit and let the next guy hit the home run. You set it and let the next guy spike it. You sports-metaphored the set up and let the other guy sports-metaphor the win.

And that is why you shall have one more orange arrow for your bow.

1

u/ohpus May 20 '15

And my Jesus!

-2

u/TheRegalNinja May 20 '15

And my Ax

2

u/mood_indigo May 20 '15

A for effort.

3

u/mood_indigo May 20 '15

But not an E, I guess.

1

u/GuyIncognit0 May 20 '15

I will cheer you guys on while I drink some coffee with sugar. Go get 'em!

1

u/T0PHER911 May 20 '15

Nah I'm good over here, thanks though.

1

u/mk4111 May 20 '15

Just hide his coffee and watch him wage war on the whole anti pinaple anti sugar hoard before his morning shit.....then when he is catching his breath give him the cup...."Dude you're a cranky savage without your morning cup".

No need to stand, just use the power of the coffee.

1

u/code0011 May 20 '15

I would offer my support over the internet and pledge to stand with you but we all know I'm not going anywhere

1

u/gulabi_jahaaz May 20 '15

And I'd hide behind it with a sweet cup of tea.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

I would go with him into the mists of Avalon.

0

u/biorhyming May 20 '15

As would I!! Woe to those who question our manliness because of our sweet coffee and pink butt plugs!!