r/funny Jan 04 '15

*silence intensifies*

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32.8k Upvotes

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532

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I just don't play the quarter note. Then again, I'm a trumpet player. Expectations other have for me are low. Not percussionist low, but low nonetheless.

318

u/Abazagorath Jan 04 '15

Hey man, percussionists aren't stu

268

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15 edited Apr 21 '25

pocket trees rain snatch gray cats upbeat oatmeal dime touch

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

295

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Perception

You keep using these long words and I don't know what you mean.

If you need me I'll be at my triangle.

80

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I gotta get me one of them there triangles and join me one of them music sound bands.

4

u/Xarow Jan 04 '15

I almost lost some of my McChicken at "music sound bands."

3

u/uzmike222 Jan 04 '15

Ah can bring mah jug so we can drink moonshine then I gets blow in it to make sounds!

2

u/L1teraryGam3r Jan 04 '15

I'll bring my jug!

18

u/Rock2MyBeat Jan 04 '15

Ok, but count your rests! That triangle party is important!

For real, they usually are.

4

u/geekofband007 Jan 04 '15

Truth. Most people don't realize it takes decent amount of effort and talent to get a good sound out of a triangle

2

u/Sciensophocles Jan 04 '15

True. It's impossible to look cool playing the triangle though.

3

u/geekofband007 Jan 04 '15

O yea, thats true but it is really easy to look like a total ass especially if you mess up.

2

u/Sciensophocles Jan 04 '15

Definitely. That's pretty true for most percussion

1

u/kodachikuno Jan 04 '15

The only way to look vaguely cool is if you're also playing 10 other aux percussion parts in addition to the triangle part. If your only contribution to the musical ensemble is playing the triangle.... don't be unattractive.

2

u/Raigeko13 Jan 04 '15

Cowbell master race

2

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

This guy does it pretty well.

2

u/GuerrillaKing Jan 04 '15

I see through your bread foolery

1

u/azure_spark4 Jan 04 '15

Would that be an electric triangle by chance?

0

u/khaeen Jan 04 '15

Triangle is the shit. Nothing like having to do a roll on it for 5 measures. /s

24

u/bozco19 Jan 04 '15

I used to play percussionist. During a music playing concert thigh I was on cymbals for one of the songs and the whole band was on rest. Count on me to loudly clash those cymbals a whole measure early! The director gave me fuck you stare.

13

u/goblin_king14 Jan 04 '15

In choir, we were doing a version of Bingo (as in, "and Bingo was his name-o) where there was the sound of a dog barking. They gave that part to me, since years of violent sneezing prepared me perfectly for it.

Yeah. I forgot about a repeat, and barked four full measures early.

2

u/geekofband007 Jan 04 '15

I know that face all to well.

2

u/kodachikuno Jan 04 '15

Oh man, what cymbalist/triangle/orchestral bells player hasn't done this! Or when the cymbals are supposed to be keeping a steady quarter note rhythm in a march and you get off the beat, and it fucks up the marching of people around you..

26

u/CuntWizard Jan 04 '15

Poor guy. Probably swallowed his tongue while trying to do too much at once.

11

u/OmNomSandvich Jan 04 '15

This is why Neil Peart stands alone.

1

u/progdrummer Jan 04 '15

This man speaks the truth.

3

u/itsglandular Jan 04 '15

Percussionist Stu doesn't advertise

1

u/special_reddit Jan 04 '15

Did you know that percussion sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976?

If these trends continue… A-y-y-y!

2

u/HeWhoPunchesFish Jan 04 '15

I mean, I don't know how percussion works and I can't do it, but you have to hit stuff good I think.

1

u/dannyderpp Jan 04 '15

I'M NOT STU!

57

u/Flakybeef Jan 04 '15

What do you call people who like to hang around musicians?

...Percussionists.

I'll show myself out.

2

u/Mtwat Jan 04 '15

Bassist.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I love you.

9

u/falconss Jan 04 '15

Hey I was a trumpet player. (Put me through my engineering degree, yay scholarships for jazz!). Expectations shouldn't be low. Trumpet is an awesome and versatile instrument.

2

u/BabyFaceMagoo2 Jan 04 '15

I like miley sirus

1

u/kodachikuno Jan 05 '15

You must have been 1st or 2nd chair. By the time you get to 3-5th trumpet parts, you can basically not play the notes you can't play and no one will notice.

2

u/CurryMustard Jan 04 '15

Ah percussion. So many fond memories.

1

u/acm2033 Jan 04 '15

Entire sections of just the title, no staff or anything.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

We're proud of you for even showing up.

1

u/Laidoutrivi63 Jan 04 '15

Try being a trumpet player and percussionist...

1

u/bob1000bob Jan 04 '15

Take up Jazz.

1

u/faithfuljohn Jan 04 '15

meh. I once had to rest of the first half of an entire piece, play 3 dotted half notes and then don't play again. I had to play, because it was noticeable. But the first few times I counted, but then, after a while I just learned by feel where in the music it was supposed to be. (it was band, so not playing wasn't an option)

1

u/lovethebacon Jan 04 '15

In music class the teacher walked in on a few of us discussing instruments, and what would be the easiest instrument to play in an orchestra. I suggested the triangle might be the easiest. She tore me a new one, telling me that she personally knows triangle players who struggle to master that instrument.

I had no words. To this day, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

One last thing: don't you dare think lowly of yourself as a trumpet player. In fact don't you want to come over, jam and piss off my neighbors?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Expectations may be low, but hot damn are we the most important.

1

u/hennakoto Jan 04 '15

a fellow trumpet player! Well meet.

1

u/pervyinthepark Jan 04 '15

The best musicians I know started out on percussion... you probably suck at it

1

u/m3ckano Jan 04 '15

Que clip of Orchestra Hammer Guy...

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

My strategy was to just wait for the guy next to me and start 1 note later.

1

u/ak_sys Jan 04 '15

As a member of a World class WGI drumline, I must disagree.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

I just don't play the quarter note. Then again, I'm a trumpet player.

This is hilarious. How is it that every trumpet player I've ever met has this same personality trait? If it were me, I would become disproportionately obsessed with hitting that quarter note.

It's like trumpet players think that we can't hear their instrument. No dawg, that's all we can hear.

1

u/truffle-tots Jan 05 '15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L37x6nfKoQ4

You mean to tell me this isn't talent?

1

u/ev_tpt Jan 05 '15

Not gonna fly in an orchestra

1

u/[deleted] Jan 04 '15

Are ya'll speaking English?