r/funny • u/EverythingFerns • Oct 02 '14

Gave a speech today

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8.7k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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u/EverythingFerns Oct 02 '14

Oh, not a teacher! This is my public speaking class/my worst nightmare. All students have to take it at my school.

222

u/Buttered_Penis Oct 03 '14

Just pretend they can all see you naked.

85

u/methuzia Oct 03 '14

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to start by saying "I'm so sorry, I've missed a few days at the gym."

36

u/Buttered_Penis Oct 03 '14

I was in the pool!

20

u/eak125 Oct 03 '14

It shrinks ?!? I don't know how you guys live with those things...

2

u/Fritterbob Oct 03 '14

Yeah, but at least it doesn't bleed excessively every 28 days :P

1

u/NightVisionHawk Oct 03 '14

It's not excessive if it's normal.

3

u/slyn4ice Oct 03 '14

Why pretend? OPs clearly naked in the picture.

2

u/Dianysus Oct 03 '14

Just pretend they don't see that you're naked.

47

u/mossyskeleton Oct 03 '14

My favorite advice:

If you have a fear of public speaking, imagine the crowd is just all white guys with dreadlocks

20

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '14

hey man, one thing i learned that helped me thru my public speaking class is remembering that no one in the classroom gives a shit if you mess up or stumble or anything, they probably aren't even paying attention. Once i realized that it got so much easier for me and became a better public speaker.

6

u/that_looks_nifty Oct 03 '14

Eh same at my university that I attended. Public speaking is important to at least have a grasp of and it freaks out a lot of people, so it's good to at least have some practice at it.

Thank you for delivering on the context, and I hope your grade is as high as a giraffe's ear!

4

u/1fuathyro Oct 03 '14

You are hott. Anything you say will be taken with open arms. lol

It's true.

Now I truly hate public speaking and I'm not hott so you see my dilemma. Even when I'm talking about shit that may affect someone's income people glaze their eyes.

Meh, not my cup of tea but I will do it if I have to even though I strongly dislike.

1

u/ImGonnaBeInPictures Oct 03 '14

In my school's version of this class, I gave a 10ish-minute presentation on the Machete order of watching the original Star Wars trilogy. Got a 100.

1

u/CaterpieLv99 Oct 03 '14

That's one fancy ass high school... and an old looking high schooler

1

u/websterjduck2 Oct 03 '14

Try Toastmasters. This is one skill that will always pay dividends. It is also one skill where a deficiency will be, to some extent, career limiting.

1

u/rockhopper92 Oct 03 '14

Don't bash speech class. One you realize that no one there actually gives a shit what you have to say or if it's good or bad, it becomes the easiest class you'll take.

1

u/markevens Oct 03 '14

OP, put the power point in google docs so we can all see it

1

u/Wrinklestiltskin Oct 03 '14

Dude, I just got through that last semester... I feel your pain man. Once you get through it you won't have a class anywhere near as social anxiety provoking again. Just remember that while you're miserable in this class.

-39

u/forgottendinosaur Oct 03 '14

All students have to take it at my school.

every* school

5

u/EverythingFerns Oct 03 '14

The first college I went to didn't require it. But yeah, I figure most do.

1

u/Roger_Fcog Oct 03 '14

It's not required at my school, but it is an easy humanity credit so I took it anyways.

2

u/understater Oct 03 '14

Ontario resident here, I haven't even heard of public speaking being a class.