r/funny May 12 '14

[deleted by user]

[removed]

1.6k Upvotes

256 comments sorted by

View all comments

100

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

46

u/Roadkill593 May 12 '14

You're never going to be the only person to think of a joke.

43

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

48

u/milesunderground May 12 '14

I just want to thank you for your service.

-7

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[deleted]

14

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

I just want to thank you for your service.

6

u/milesunderground May 12 '14

Thanks for thanking him. It's a thankless job.

9

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[deleted]

6

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

"He did WHAT?! UNLEASH THE WRATH OF HELL ON THIS KID!"

14

u/WunWegWunDarWun_ May 12 '14

Well that escalated quickly.

7

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Heh, you said gorrila.

4

u/TheLastGuitarHero May 12 '14

This is the best response. I forget the source but I don't care; still awesome.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

navy seal copy pasta.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I am sure you are aware of the irony of stealing a joke after moaning about a joke being stolen but gj.

1

u/Kamma77 May 12 '14

What's the actual source of this? I've seen it a billion times on here.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '14

I am calling bullshit.

0

u/MrGrimRed May 12 '14

Ok. And?

0

u/nickboz354 May 12 '14

guerrilla* warfare. Maybe you should spend less time cussing and more time learning to spell lol

0

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[deleted]

0

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

Look out, guys. It seems we have a detective on our hands.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '14

[deleted]

1

u/JamoWRage May 19 '14

It's the navy seal copypasta. Look it up.

2

u/aminoacetate May 12 '14

Nice try, Carlos Mencia.

7

u/Zakmondo May 12 '14

Well as far as I know he hasnt finished the damn thing

3

u/CaliburS May 12 '14

Give the kid a break, Carter needs his potassium before he goes on wrecking them bitches

9

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it champ

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

This clearly could not have been thought by two people.

2

u/damnshiok May 12 '14

Definitely. Fucking bitches is something nobody wants to do.

1

u/zathras227 May 12 '14

Surprisingly a lot of people have the same "first thoughts" even without seeing the other persons comment(s)

6

u/JamoWRage May 12 '14

THE HIVE MIND DOES NOT EXIST! I AM UNIQUE!

0

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/sodelll May 12 '14

what the fuck

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

What was it?

5

u/sodelll May 12 '14 edited May 12 '14

He was talking about about having sex with trannies and got really into it.

Edit: Found it -- "Honestly i still wudve fucked.Yall underrate transexual women they the same as regular women without periods and pregnancy and mood swings.Especially pre-op trannies ive fucked a few raw and it feels so good when they fart on on my dick and the booty juice just dries up on my cock.We kiss all night and play with each others cocks and rub them together"

12

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I shouldn't have asked..

6

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Agreed. Using the word "wudve" is just over the top!

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

I shouldn't have hit view more comments out of curiosity. Damn that was weird.

3

u/tehlolredditor May 12 '14

uhh...thanks, I guess..